GooseyLoosey,
YANBU.
I am coming late to this and the thread has veered way off topic, also I haven't read the entire thread and I may be repeating points already made but i just felt the need to support you in this as you've taken quite an unfair battering from some quarters.
I think it shows remarkable maturity in your ds that he feels uncomfortable (if that's what he means by silly) making declarations he doesn't believe in front of all his peers. I feel the same way about role play on training courses but at least everyone knows that's only pretend. Presumably you've taught him it's wrong to lie, and making a statement you don't believe is a similar thing so good for him not wanting to do that. If he just means he's embarrassed about public speaking, then again fair enough, he can learn to do that when he's bigger, if he needs to (this skill is not a pre requisite to becoming a rounded successful human being).
I was really cross at all the judgemental 'you should choose another school' statements. Where I live there are 3 schools in walking distance, two religious and one secular, so it is possible to make that choice here - but I still feel angry that I should have to make that choice (predictably the overall results at the faith schools are slightly better - but not enough for me to need to compromise my principles). However your situation is completely different. I strongly believe as you do that children's schooling should be rooted in their local neighbourhood community, I also believe that faith based education in some areas damages community relations and creates false divisions and inequalities between people, not just on faith but also on socio-economic grounds. So good on you for instead standing up for your view of the world and making it very clear to the Head when your ds started that that's where you stood - not easy to do, brave and showing great integrity I think, and the opposite of hypocritical (is it? )
This is now going a bit off topic but many atheist and agnostic posters have referred to there being lots of good things about church and community and i'd agree - i also have fond memories of choir, sunday school etc - but how much better if people like us who didn't actually believe in the 'god stuff' formed an alternative so we could have all the secular fun without having to role play . You could still have a good old singalong, some community notices, some readings, bit of philosophical debate, cup of tea and a biscuit, charity fundraising, the lot. In fact the community I live in has all these things going on but just not all pulled together in a regular Sunday morning slot. I think it would be brilliant, but haven't worked out what we'd call it. Any suggestions?
Meantime GooseyLoosey, did you make a decision? Have you spoken to the school - it seemed that was the way you were heading - I would love to hear how it went. Faith school 'management' should be aware when parents are unhappy with religious aspects of education - if they have your child in their school then you should have just as much of a voice as other parents and they should be happy to hear your views - many others may feel the same way but just too afraid of making their concerns clear.
Finally, mumsnet etiquette question - is it OK to refer organisations / interest groups to specific threads? I'm a member of the Secular Society and I bet they'd be interested in this debate.