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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think Delia is a bit of a tosser for saying' I am not a feminist - I like men'

374 replies

bigmouthstrikesagain · 23/03/2009 10:25

Stick to the cooking theres a dear

OP posts:
Miggsie · 24/03/2009 09:30

I may be a feminist, I don't know...how do you define a feminist?

However, I do think that I should be paid the same as a man for the same work and not have my horizons narrowed due to my gender.
I too work in a traditional male environment (engineering) and am used to being the only woman at the meetings (although this is geting better since I started 20 years ago).

What I resent sometimes is that boys and men seem to get more attention and positive praise for things than women do for the same sort of work/achievements.
And women are often called "bossy" or "domineering" for showing traits that in a man would be called "assertive" and "leadership".

I'd like to see those inequalities disappear, so does this make me a feminist?

I'll say I'm egalitarian, then I won't be contraversial!

Delia...she talks down to you in her recipies..."I find the best way to do this is listening to radio 4"...hmmm. Also, she treats her camera crews like dirt.

flummery · 24/03/2009 09:57

I don't think feminism can take responsibility, it's only an ideology. I also don't quite get the whole 'feminism should...' comment. We are feminism - it's up to us to take responsibility, to say what needs to be said or do what needs to be done.

Each step forward was taken as a result of feminism being a political and social movement, not by feminism.

If we don't like the message that's out there, then we need to keep talking until the message is one we're happy with. It's not something we can abdicate responsibility on, there's no great feminism goddess who's going to do it for us.

Mumcentreplus · 24/03/2009 10:10

Well it depends which branch of the feminist movement you cling to..

ruty · 24/03/2009 10:23

I'm also quite annoyed at the tag on the homepage - 'feminism - do you agree with Delia?' as if what Delia said had some logic behind it.

MargotBeauregardesGavel · 24/03/2009 10:25

Does she want to sell the rights to her recipes and cook books for 70% of what a man doing the same thing would get??

Stupid woman.

ruty · 24/03/2009 10:26

If any women says she is not a feminist then she really should abstain from voting. Without the suffragettes women would not have gained the vote. Ridiculous.

Mumcentreplus · 24/03/2009 10:40

well...Feminism is the belief that women should have equal political, social, sexual, intellectual and economic rights to men. ...of course there are various types and forms of feminism...but they all contain those core beliefs

Aefondkiss · 24/03/2009 10:40

thanks for the fword link.

MargotBeauregardesGavel · 24/03/2009 10:40

It is insecurity (around men) that makes a woman say this shite. Terrified that men might think they would have hairy legs or that they're bitter from having been rejected by men in the past.

So, she isn't a feminist, delia believes she neeeds a man. Despite her financial independence she needs men's approval. Sad really......

rantothehills · 24/03/2009 10:42

I agree, ruty, but debate has been so simplified of late, hasn't it? It's seen as extreme rather than mainstream (where it belongs imho). Young women now seem uninterested in the cause and it's far less fashionable than crusading for the environment (poss with reason)

Mumcentreplus · 24/03/2009 10:49

I myself would probably be classed as a Liberal Feminist...with a touch of Libertarian Feminist a knob of Eco-Feminist...a sprinkle of Multi-cultural Feminist and a dash of Socialist Feminist

madwomanintheattic · 24/03/2009 10:52

i reread herland last night lol.

Mumcentreplus · 24/03/2009 10:55

lol..at maddie

slug · 24/03/2009 11:10

I once went to see Dale Spender speak. She's quite a famous Australian feminist/educationalist. As an illustration of how women are treated, unconsciously, in both the classroom and in wider life, she deliberatly ignored any questions or comments from male members of the audience, but would answer the question if it came from a woman. The results were hilarious. I've certainly been in that position many a time, ignored in favour of the male voice, but to see the effect on men when the tables are turned was fantastic. They got agressive, demanding and, dare I say it, shrill. She addressed them using the sort of language women expect when they speak up and defend themselves; shrill, bossy, strident etc.

I've never seen such a group of agressive, frustrated men in an education setting. The joke was, whe had said very clearly what she was going to do at the beginning of the lecture, and discussed the impact again at the end. Yet these men refused to believe she was doing anything other than 'picking on them'.

That really opened my eyes to the different way we are treated in society. How many times is Ed Balls' derss sense discussed in the media, yet Harriet Harman is always having her choice of neckline discussed. And how often are women's ages mentioned or they are labelled with their title, Mrs, miss etc, yet men are addressed by their name only?

I am proudly a feminist.

Mumcentreplus · 24/03/2009 11:22

lol@shrill

GLaDOS · 24/03/2009 11:49

"I don't think feminism can take responsibility, it's only an ideology. I also don't quite get the whole 'feminism should...' comment. We are feminism - it's up to us to take responsibility, to say what needs to be said or do what needs to be done."

What do you mean by 'only' an ideology? Take a look at UK rape crtsis websites. If you don't subscribe to the ideology, then you don;t find much comfort there. That's where the resposnibity comes in.

We are feminism,k your right - it's time we took it back from the academics who have brought into disrepute.

MariaCC · 24/03/2009 12:05

But doesn't she know that this is what a feminist looks like? www.fawcettsociety.org.uk/index.asp?PageID=394

mrsruffallo · 24/03/2009 12:25

I know some women have feminist fantasies, but that does not mean you are a feminist

sachertorte · 24/03/2009 12:35

How many of you have actually listened to the interview? Delia does NOT say "I´m not a feminist - I like men" The OP is NOT telling the whole truth.

Interviewer: "Would you call yourself a femeinist?"

Delia: "No. because.. I don´t know whether I´m outside it, but I´ve never really felt that there´s any problem, I´ve never felt inferior.. "

The "I like men" bit comes later, even if it is a complete clanger.. Delia may only be thinking of her own personal experience and not beyond that, but calling her a tosser is ott imo. And she does go on to acknowledge that men are listened to in a way women are not, she just doesn´t see this as a feminist issue, even if she does disagree with it.

Mumcentreplus · 24/03/2009 12:41

I think the word and core beliefs of feminism are more fluid than people ..I would say and others have described me as a feminist...it's about degrees ..I think I shall coin the phrase Relaxed Feminism..after all I am Feminism I believe in the ideals but I don't wear dungarees ...I can be passionate and I can also be passive...

Mumcentreplus · 24/03/2009 12:44

I quite like Delia...

Mumcentreplus · 24/03/2009 12:44

'Lets be avin ya!'

LEMAGAIN · 24/03/2009 12:46

mumcentre - whenever i make something new for dinner my DP says "is this from Delia" if i say yes, he says "i aint eating it then"

LEMAGAIN · 24/03/2009 12:47

I would like to be classed of as a WOMAN - hear me roar!! Well shreik like a banshee at my kids

Mumcentreplus · 24/03/2009 12:57

but have you got the banshee hair though?...I've never cooked a Delia recipe in me life..lol