to be a bit fed up that the granny's have claimed mother's day?

[grumblinalong]

I've had a rubbish day, I'm feeling pretty fed up after a hellish week and I suppose I am being unreasonable and feeling sorry for myself because DP told me to buy my own mother's day present. I'm going to have a moan anyway.

I feel like mother's day has been taken over by DP's mum and my mum's wants and wishes and I feel a bit pushed aside. We have to go for a whole family Sunday lunch in a stuffy pub for MIL, when I told my mum this she was put out and proceeded to invite us for sandwiches and cakes late afternoon 'so I can see the boys on mother's day.'

DP in all fairness said I didn't have to go for the family lunch but he would have to take the DS's - I do actually fancy seeing my offspring that day though! So now my mother's day is going to be spent driving the kids miles, stressing about keeping them relatively calm in the pub, driving miles again to my mum's and feeling obliged to eat when I'm probably not going to feel like it.

I think that I'll just console myself that it's an over commercial venture anyway and I don't need making a fuss of on a designated day arranged by the card company's to show that my sons love me.

I just thought I would reply with a 'round-up' of what happened yesterday as I post loads of threads saying maybe you could do this, this and this and I never find out what the OP actually did and I always wonder.

I went for the meal with MIL and DP's family and then I went to my mum's afterwards, it was all fine. The DC's were hard work, but hey that's children. I wasn't trying to be a prima donna and say it was all about me, me, me but I didn't word my posts that eloquently I agree. What I was disappointed about was my mum, DP and my MIL were all demanding that I acknowledge what they wanted and I felt a bit that after dealing with PND, not sleeping for 16months and dealing with DS2's health problems over the past year that it didn't occur to them that I might want a bit of peace and quiet.

I'm also getting a bit disconcerted that my new little family doesn't seem to be allowed to create any traditions for themselves. Every big occasion (christmas, easter, mother's day even the ds's birthdays) feels like a power struggle between families to provide a balanced, fair 'family' day and I feel that this at the expense of us as we always have to do the travelling. If this is seen as selfish and ungiving then I'm sorry but is it really my responsibilty to provide a good experience of grandparenting at the expense of my experience as a mother? I'm grateful to the older generation for providing us with our childhood but I hope i don't hold my sons emotionally to ransom for 'being there' for them when they have families of their own. Rabt over

Rant I mean!

I did post earlier about being selfless, but I also believe in my Mum's philosophy of "Please yourself!" I'm lucky as pleasing myself and others seems to fit together OK. Maybe figure out what it is that you want for future celebrations and do that?
I generally like all my Mum's traditions so do them with my little family and convert other Grandma when necessary. I'm happy to travel to inlaws as they're only 20 mins away and it means I don't have to cook. How about for Easter you invite everyone to yours for dinner? That would mean you cooking so not an easy day, but I bet the children would be happier and you wouldn't have to travel. Grandmas'd also be super appreciative afterwards.
Don't forget your children benefit from Grandparents as much as they benefit from the grandchildren - hopefully!?!