To be somewhat offended by my SIL letters ?

[chocolatekitten]

The way she addresses them ? They are Christmas/Easter cards that she sends to DH and myself. She always writes Mr & Mrs Fred Bloggs ( made up name of course). Every time I'm bemused and cross at the same time. As if I don't have my own name and am sort of my husband's property.
Is it a normal way to address a married couple in UK ? I'm an immigrant from another European country where people always write both names or at least Mrs@Mr Bloggs.
SIL is 48. I mention this as I would understand better if she was an elderly lady from a bygone era.

loads of people do this

peculiar to UK I think

yes, I think it's shit too but they probably don't mean anything by it apart from failing to think about language and how it comes across

A lot of people still address letters this way. My DP's friends still do and they're of a similar age to your SIL.

This is just a traditional and formal way of writing to a married couple.

Its old-fashioned, and not everyone agrees with it, not everyone thinks they become 'Mrs Joe Bloggs' when they marry, but some people do still hold traditional values.

It wouldn't be something I would ever write, but it certainly wouldn't offend me.

YANBU - It is a very old fashioned formal way of addressing a married couple. I hate it if occasionally me and DH get a letter to Mr and Mrs KamR's DH's name - makes me feel like a chattel!

I always put Mr and Mrs F Bloggs. It's the way I was taught

Normal but very old fashioned and also drives me insane! I was happy to give up my surname (hated my maiden name!) but I am not Mrs Fred Bloggs, I have my own name! It's stupid too - there is only one couple with our name living at this address so it's not likely anyone else is going to open our post!

Ironically one of the worst offenders is a friend of mine who didn't even change her surname when she got married - I always write to her using her husband's name just to try and make the point but it hasn't worked yet!!

I wouldn't have a problem with someone addressing a card to Mr and Mrs F Bloggs. I do have a problem with someone sending a card just to me as Mrs F Bloggs, when my name is in fact Ethel. But I do realise that this is what quite a few people put.

Actually if I am addressing a card to a married couple I always put Mr and Mrs F Bloggs (as long as I know they do share the same surname). What should I put instead - Mr F and Mrs E Bloggs?

I would put Mr And Mrs F. Bloggs if it was someone I do not know too well, but as it is your SIL I find it a bit strange, surely you are on first names terms?

I was taught Mr and Mrs F Bloggs is the correct way to address a married couple? Is that not so? I am in my 30s so not elderly!

FWIW my step-mother (in her 60s) says she finds it offensive to be addressed Mrs 'her christian name' 'her married surname'. She would rather be addressed Mrs 'husband's initial' 'married surname'. Does that make any sense??

I was taught it was correct too. Am 45 and Irish and it was how we were taught at school.

Why are you offended by this?

I was taught to write this way and used it until my German DH saw it and was horrified, that was about 16 years ago.

It is a curious UK thing, I have never seen it elsewhere.

As others have said, Mr & Mrs Fred Bloggs is the "proper" way to address a married couple. If you go back to, say, my grandmother's generation, you would be Mrs Fred Bloggs but that has, rightly, died out.

I always address a married couple as Mr and Mrs F Bloggs, I also always address a married woman as Mrs F Bloggs, using husbands initial. Have never given it any thought as it was how I was taught and how post is addressed to us - had no idea people could read so much into it.

I am 30 by the way so not old!

It's normal. My mother did it with me.
Just remembering something that might be totally off subject but, who was it that had an argument with their bank because she wanted them to address her with her maiden name and not her married name, it went on for a while ending with a letter from her bank manager saying yes we aknowledge that we will no longer address you by your husbands name, we will in future address you by your fathers name. !!

Yes, this is the traditional way to address married couples.

Don't use it as ammunition against her !!

I was taught that way, even now when I send Christmas cards I will address them to Mr & Mrs X Bloggs with X being the husband's initial. I am 47, so maybe it is an 'old' thing and perhaps I am an elderly lady from a bygone era . It would be how your SIL was taught and would not mean anything more than that. I find it a bit odd to be 'cross' about it. How do you think it should be, Mr X and Mrs Y Blogs or X & Y Blogs?

I get this too

It is incredibly annoying (I never even changed my name on marriage ffs) but not worth getting worked up about. Probably written with best intentions.

I was taught this way too and would write it without thinking.

not that olds fashioned, i'm 25 and it's the way i address letters to married couples as it's what i was taught... either that or if they have kids i might write 'the bloggs family'

Also meant to say that as my parents were divorced my mother refered to herself as Mrs herfirstname hissurname. My wedding invite came from Mr F Bloggs and Mrs F Bloggs to indicate they were divorced.