To be somewhat offended by my SIL letters ?

[chocolatekitten]

The way she addresses them ? They are Christmas/Easter cards that she sends to DH and myself. She always writes Mr & Mrs Fred Bloggs ( made up name of course). Every time I'm bemused and cross at the same time. As if I don't have my own name and am sort of my husband's property.
Is it a normal way to address a married couple in UK ? I'm an immigrant from another European country where people always write both names or at least Mrs@Mr Bloggs.
SIL is 48. I mention this as I would understand better if she was an elderly lady from a bygone era.

puppy - because it is on the envelope.

Obviously inside the card I would put 'Fred, Freda, Freddie and Freya' but the envelope serves the purpose of ensuring it is delivered to the right people - so I wouldn't put 'Fred and Freda, Fredstown', I would use the formal address in all respects.

stealthsquiggle.

BTW - I also use the "Bloggs family" cop-out for families with kids - and also use the "Bloggs-Jones family" for my best friend and her brood who like your friend has kept her name.

I did announce very loudly and clearly that I was going to continue to use my name. I had got to 37 with a very unusual and distinctive name and like having it - even though I had to spell it all the time.

Yet people who know I am still using it still ignre that I even put address stickers on every year which shows both our names - both at the header of the address and in the two e-mail addresses so there really is now excuse!

This is the way I was taught to address letters too. If you write to a married woman the correct form of address is Mrs F. Bloggs (with the "F" being the husband's initial) If she is a widow you should continue to do the same as if she is addressed by her own initial this is an indication that she is divorced. I have several elderly aunts who are widowed and they would consider it quite rude if I was to send them a letter with their own inital instead of deceased husband's

Just put Fred and Freda on the envelope too!!!! It will still get there (as long as you put the right address on - which hopefully you would with your own brother)!!!!!

I must stop putting so many exclamation marks now.

I think you misunderstand me Stealthsguide. My joint account is in both our names. We have different surnames (because, quite frankly, my married name is an illiterative nightmare and sounds like a porn name). Therefore the bank sends us letters addressed to both of us.

What annoys me is people who know quite well that I have not changed my name, who persist in addressing mail to me and my husband using his name only. It's like I no longer exist as an independant entity. I have no real objection to being called Mrs Slugshusband by people who have no reason to know otherwise. It's just rude to persist in addressing me by a name that isn't mine.

Um, why not just Mr & Mrs Bloggs, no initial needed at all. Very simple.

I do this too. Am gimmer but I don't think it's that old fashioned. It's just a different way. Don't take offence. Does she take offence that you don't do it? Lots of things are different about the way I'm treated in the country I live in -- I just accept it as part of the way things are here.

Hey here in Mexico we frequently get letters and invitations

"To Mr. F. Bloggs and wife"

I get extemely and (probably irrationaly) irritated by it. So I get where you are coming from here Chocolatekitten.

I don't think YABU at all. Just because it was the way we were taught to address letters doesn't mean that that's the way it has to be (and I'm 33 and that's how I did it for years until my feminist principles prevented it.)

Fred and Freda Bloggs is fine; and if in my case you kept your maiden name (which is your Dad's anyway! Women don't seem to be allowed to have surnames of their own) you can always write

Mr. F. Bloggs and Ms./Miss F. Brown

I think the OP's point is that she doesn't want to use her husband's name and has made it clear. All this "the rules" only applies if you don't know the situation with a couple. If you DO not how they like to be addressed then it's bloody rude to do otherwise.

For what it's worth, when I don't know the sex of the person I'm addressing in a letter I always break "the rule" by writing Dear Madam/Sir.

She has not made it clear at all. She has come on here to say she is somewhat offended, bemused and cross at the traditional way her obviously well intentioned husband's sister addresses her cards. She hasn't said anything to her SIL, not from her posts here.

Well, you know what, choolatekitten, if you don't like it, just tell her. Don't whine about it to everyone else. If you are offended, bemused and cross every time why not do something about it. Put your money where your mouth is. She sounds so nice she will probably say oh of course, sorry it's just what I'm used to.

Then get over to PW's thread on the G20 and get worked up about issues that may not affect you, but have a real and profound effect on the terrible lot of women in this world. Lack of education, and genital mutiliation to name a couple. You know, life changing things. Things worth getting upset about.

'Just put Fred and Freda on the envelope too'

That is what my SIL does and I find it very odd!

I would always put Mr and Mrs F Bloggs too (am 27) - just the way I was taught. Never thought about it.

Don't know if anyone has said this yet, but writing Mrs F Bloggs, has not died out. This is the way my Grandmothers and MIL address me on mail. I don't mind Mr & Mrs F Bloggs, but I draw the line at Mrs F BLogss, I have a first name FGS

God, I'm horrified to discover I've probably been annoying people for years by how I address their Christmas cards, or whatever.

I'd no idea people saw anything wrong with Mr & Mrs F Bloggs. I consider it to be correct and imagined everyone who did differently just were badly educated.

However, I'm also still sticking to the rule of "dear sir = yours faithfully" and dear x = yours sincerely" (the two s never go together). Am I the last person in the world to do this?

Oh, am Irish, so it's how we were taught here too.

I address letters this way. That new etiquette rule has passed me by!

I really hate getting letter addressed in this way. My OH thinks its hilarious . I was amazed that the london borough we adopted with did this. They are legendary in their rightonness.

I dont mind Mr E Bloggs and Mrs P Bloggs but Mr and Mrs E Bloggs just seems rude. I do have a name and its nicer than his

What do you put when both are Dr's husband and wife - what happens then? I always wonder this please advice me?

YABU, Addressing a letter to a married couple Mr and Mrs F bloggs is the coeerct way.

Dr and Mrs F Bloggs or Dr and Mr M Bloggs I think

It is the correct way to address a letter unfortunately

Made me raise an eyebrow to receive a birthday card addressed to Mrs Fred Bloggs.

I mean a birthday card FGS. For my birthday

So which one do I not call dr? the man or the woman? Can I only call one of them dr?

Yes dr then the not doctor then the doctor's initial then the surname

or Drs B and P Bloggs

for both doctors call them both doctors

unless they are surgeons

So which one do I not call dr - the man or the woman? do I put both initials as they are both dr's or the man or the woman? sorry more confused

This is an absurd rule - like not ending a sentence with a preposition - but I think the answer is:

Dr and Dr F Bloggs

Hideous, eh?