To find it really annoying when people are openly smug about how quickly they fell pregnant:

[freddysteddy]

e.g. at toddler group this AM three women who feel pregnant first months of trying (or accidentally in one case) discussing their amazement that it took a mutual friend 8 months to get pregnant.

FFS.

I thank you.

freddysteady - Very sorry you seem so offended that I thought it possible you weren't part of the conversation. You just seemed to have such a strong adverse reaction to the conversation that it didn't seem as likely you were actively involved, or else you might perhaps have gently put across the other perspective to subtly point out that they were being a little insensitive and could inadvertently hurt people's feelings. Or maybe you did (but still wanted to rant here). That's all.

4pawa - I felt exactly the same as Morris Zapp (you're not Catholic by any chance, are you, Morris?) - I grew up being told that ONE incidence of sex could get you pregnant, my God, in our sex ed classes we were even told that if we let a boy ejaculate near us we'd be in danger of conceiving!

After 10 or so years of hearing that, at a formative age, it kind of becomes ingrained in you - not on any conscious level - that sex = pregnancy.

So when it doesn't (and I was only 28, turned out that DH had malignant tumours in his glands, including the prostate), it does come as a real 'WTF??'

4paws, that is

Maybe they were not smug, but merely terrified?!

thats a good point bramshott, we take our fertility for granted and any sign that things arent as they are "meant" to be is scary.

some people get freaked out by the existance of problems within their world, my mc's made sil v paranoid when she was pg with dc2, because before that she didnt really register that it wasnt straightforward. tbh it didnt help that i had my ep when she was 20w, so instead of being excited/happy about the scan she was having to tiptoe around me and just pray that everything was ok. my experiences had opened up a different side of the ttc world for her and she was v uncomfortable with that.

wow, so many people upset because i havve posted my honest opinions on a public forum.

lissie, apology accepted of course

can i point out to the others on this thread, that it is NOT a ttc thread, but an aibu thread. i always stay away from ttc threads. i have merely pointed out the very opposite end of the spectrum. and it is just as painful.

to those of you who suggest i get sterilised, well, why dont i have dh castrated, and myself undergo famale circumsion at the same time? that would sort my problems out easily.

there is always more than one side to a situation. and both extremes can be painful, and hurtful. just because one side doesnt talk about it much, doesnt mean it isnt painful.

to the poster who spoke about watching a pregnancy test. have you ever looked at a pregnancy stick, dreading it is going to turn out positive, and watchingit turn positive...... i wont go on and on about how painful that can be....

[email protected] took me about 12mths of very enjoyable baby makin before I had a bun (although at the beginning I wasn't tryin that hard)...someone talking about how easy it was wouldn't bother me at all...we are all different...and you are not gossiping right now are you? ..lol

chainstitch, im sorry but i dont know how (if you are using contraceptive correctly) it can continuously fail. i accept that it is never 100% effective, but the way you say it it sounds like every time you have sex you get up the pole. and while i accept that i and some of the other posters need to exercise a bit of sensitivity towards those in a simillar position to you (you must understand why thats hard though) i feel that you also need to exercise some sensitivity. this may not be a ttc thread, but it is still a thread about ttc. and there are many posters who are going through hell in their pursuit for a/another child who will have posted here. and calling them "silly bints" is crass and cruel.

well I am one of those people who talk in amazement about how quickly we conceived. And that is because we were amazed at how quickly we conceived. I expect, from what you are saying, that I too am smug about it. But I think, possibly, excited that it happened so quickly.

However, it is only on MN currently that I am being smug, as a friend I know has tried for a long time to have a baby and I worry about how to tell her. I hope my friends don't think I am smug.

and am genuinely intrested why (if you dont want any more children) you refuse to consider sterilisation?

ah, but pavlov, you are exercising sensitivity for the benefit of your friend, who you know will have mixed feelings (and will probably feel v guilty about that)

Sterilisation is not castration chainstitch, it is a reliable method of contraception for the super fertile such as yourself. If you are having such pain looking at all those positive lines then I suggest that you do need to visit a family planning clinic asap. Of course unwanted pregnancy is a terrifying and awful time but it is not an unavoidable continous torture that infertility is.

hear hear bamboostalks. there are steps you can take to prevent pg, there are v few things you can do to encourage it.

yabu either way

what the hell!...Sterilisation for a woman is a 2hr operation...for a man it takes 20mins ...who you think should bite tha bullet!

It took us 7 years of ttc before I had dd1, and in that time had fertility treatment, a mc and a molar pregnancy, which resulted in a year of chemotherapy, and a year of not being able to ttc. I was terrified of trying again, because I was so scared of having another mp, but the fear of not having children was much bigger than anything else, and so dh and I agreed to try one more time, and we were lucky enough to have dd1. Amazingly I had dd2 14 months later, and feel truly blessed to have my lovely daughters. People do say idiotic things about ttc, that come across as smug and insensitive. I'm aware that, despite my history, the speed with which I became pregnant with dd2 is something that I try to talk sensitively about with friends who are having trouble conceiving a second child.

I'm afraid that your posts have been unbelievably ignorant Chainstitch, sterilisation is in no way like castration or female circumcision. If having another child is causing you such enormous pain, then I suggest you talk to a doctor about options that are open to you and your partner.

I am very smug happy that I got pregnant the first time without a condom(although took morning after pill under duress from ex) but not so smug that my dp who I thought loved me then dumped me as he 'wasn't ready to be a dad.'
So in some ways I consider myself lucky as I have had no problems getting pregnant but in other ways I feel cheated that I have no dp to share the miraculous journey with. Life is rarely fair and often ironic. I guess we should all just be grateful for what we do have and ignore smug comments. Not always easy I know.

Just to be clear that dd wasn't what I regard as an accident. I desperately wanted her and somehow I knew that a baby was on her way before I concieved if that makes sense. She's a very determined little soul.

Am assuming chainstitch is having a laugh.

If not, then she is frighteningly stupid and insensitive.

as usual, any opinion not agreeing with the herd is considered trollish. insensitive, crass etc.

if you dont understand how contraception can fail repeatedly, i suggest you read up on the stats, as i really cannot be bothered to enlighten anyone not actually interested in any opinion not their own.

wasnt it hitler, or his henchmen that wanted to forcibly sterilise the jews? is that what you are suggesting? because i dare to have a different viewpoint to yours? wow.

oh, and to anyone who isnt able to work it out, i am chainstitch.

I fell first time of trying with DS1 but too 2 years with DS2
Everyone is different

I think you must be right Charitygirl, because that last post was hilarious.

sorry meant to add a

I wonder...am I smug because I became pregnant less than 9 months after giving birth?...facts are most people when they speak it's not to be smug but just to make conversation...or maybe I'm just a optimist