Or mean or strange or odd for not buying my 3year old sweets not even as a reward not even if he is 'very very very good'!

[Sails]

I know the consensus will probably be that I am! Sil came round yesterday. Then dh, mil and sil had to go to out and ds1 said I want to come with you. Sil said we'll come back later mummy what sweets does he like? I said I don't really know as I don't buy him sweets! Sil not even if he's good and I said no and she said what if he's really really really good and I said I still don't sorry! Anyway ds1 ended up going with them but I got the distinct impression that sil was shocked even felt sorry for him! Aibu?

YANBU

But sweets are a nice treat every now and again, IMO

I used to LOVE going to the sweetie shop for a 10p mix-up when I was little

And when my Dad went for the paper at the weekend he'd always come back with a Swizzle lolly

I don't reward the DC with sweets for good behaviour. If I have to take them both out for a long day of boring errands I will let them choose a book each.

I do give them sweets though, either fruit jellies or chocolate buttons. I don't think it's right to deny them completely.

I think that you are causing problems for later on. Forbidden foods make them seem much more interesting! You don't have give him a whole packet, everything in moderation. You have to think what you will do later on when he has his own money. I wouldn't give them as a reward, that is also giving the wrong message.
I find that those who are very strict have problems-unfortunately they are often the last to know as their DCs get very adapt at being two faced.Many a parent who fondly thinks their DC doesn't even like sweets doesn't know what they get from their friends!

YANBU
Mine don't get sweets for a treat, they get a comic

Is he not allowed to have any sweets ever? Do you ban certain foods? If so that is a really good way to ensure an eating disorder, sorry.

YANBU. My DS is 2 and a bit and he has never had sweets and doesn't have biscuits that often. Until he is a lot older and can brush his teeth properly I won't give them to him. I was never allowed sweets when I was small I don't really like them now and have no fillings [bright white] .

What are we meaning by 'sweets'?

I'm thinking of it as a generic term relating to all things confectionary... chocolate, cake, biscuits, 'sweeties'

your child your choice.

I personally am totally against using food (incl sweets!) for rewards/comfort/praise, because you can end up creating a link in their mind food = comfort and food should be fuel, not reward or love.
If you choose to give sweets, etc, give them not linked to ANYTHING, imo.

I am a fatty with HUGE food issues

I think 3 is when they should begin to have the occasional sweet. Chocolate buttons are probably best, as they aren't as harmful to the teeth as stickier sweets.

I wouldn't advise giving them as treats, but there's nothing wrong with giving them once a week or so.

Not at 3 surely crush? I think all you said is true as he gets older pisces but for now a preschooler I don't see why it is my job to introduce sweets to him. I'm afraid I agree with butterflyeffect at 3 he does not understand he could not have then all the time and I do struggle to get him to clean his teeth properly. Whilst peer pressure etc does not play apart yet and (hopefully) I am the main influence why not? As he gets older he will have them in moderation as a treat but I don't see why its a treat yet when he doesn't have them at home. And yes I too have fond memories of the joys of sweets but I wasn't 3 I was older than that!

my dc have sweets sometimes for pudding as part of their meal, sometimes they are bought by us as a treat, or they're from Nannie & Grandad, or from school or parties etc. Also Nannie will often give them a pack of something each eg love hearts - that will last one child 3 pudding times!

I want my dc to know it's okay to eat sweets in moderation as part of a healthy overall diet.

If we were out and they asked for sweets and then behaved appallingly they wouldn't get them that day.

My DS wasnt given anything with added sugar in it for a long time. He had fruit, rice cakes, breadsticks etc instead. He's now 3.5 and doesnt like chocolate...I buy him a Kinder egg and I eat the chocolate and he has the gift! He does like biscuits though (not chocolate ones though) and has them in moderation. I dont think you're being strange or cruel....sensible I'd say!

What happens at Easter when they are given an Easter egg-is it confiscated?

You can buy fab sweets, M&S percy pigs are a favourite.

Do you give your children fruit, fruit juice, raisins? All can do the same damage if you don't brush well.

Percy pigs are too good to be wasted on children.

I know, their 'friends' are even nicer.

not everyone gets easter eggs, I didn't as a small child.

Sorry xpost with loads of you as typing slowly today "sweets" I mean traditional sweets not biscuits or cakes which he only has occasionally btw. Also I don't link food with good behaviour as I don't think a good idea for reasons already stated he has comics etc as rewards. Also obesity runs very strongly in dh side of family dh, mil and sil all overweight by their own admission. I am not but thats another story!

MIne get chocolate butu not "sweets".

Sweets are typically worse for the teeth and that is why.

They are. My favourites are the Molly Moos,cola flavoured cows. They are delish and I want some now.

We have an M&S just up the road, it's lethal. I pop for milk and come home with a sweets stash.

Mine don't really have 'traditional' sweets (prob do at GPs but I've had to surrender to that issue - whole other thread! )

But will have Kinder egg, buttons, that sort of thing

The chocolate popcorn is gorgeous too.

And their fudge bars.

I remember reading a Marian Keyes book and she was discussing all the free goodies she gets, and wondering why are all hampers full of things you don't want to eat, and never contain things like Percy pigs that people actually enjoy.

I hate Percy Pigs!