Or mean or strange or odd for not buying my 3year old sweets not even as a reward not even if he is 'very very very good'!

[Sails]

I know the consensus will probably be that I am! Sil came round yesterday. Then dh, mil and sil had to go to out and ds1 said I want to come with you. Sil said we'll come back later mummy what sweets does he like? I said I don't really know as I don't buy him sweets! Sil not even if he's good and I said no and she said what if he's really really really good and I said I still don't sorry! Anyway ds1 ended up going with them but I got the distinct impression that sil was shocked even felt sorry for him! Aibu?

To answer your question, Sail - I never actively 'introduced' DS to sweets, I just didn't refuse to let others give them to him. I don't buy them. Occasionally I will let him choose something in a shop - generally we end up with a chocolate frog / fudge bar or something like that. He started getting sweets (as in chewy ones, lollies, etc) in party bags, I guess - so at about 4 - older than your DS. I never stopped him having them, but he is not especially bothered either way. PIL gave him milky bar egg when he was 1.5 - I think - by 2.5 I had dropped hints that he actually prefers very dark chocolate - they continued to give him white chocolate, which he doesn't like or eat.

SIL gives the DC chocolate of some sort every time we see her (every few weeks) - it goes into the 'fridge and is rarely eaten up before she gives them the next lot, but I am not about to offend her by saying they can't have it.

If you are not actively objecting to your DS having biscuits, etc at toddler group, then my guess is that at some point you will find yourself in the same position with sweets. As for your OP, in your position I probably would have suggested that SIL brought a small piece of chocolate (chocolate frog or equiv) if she wanted to get something.

I would give small amounts of chocolate e.g. buttons, milky way stars in funsize packs or freddo frogs, but if you read the ingredients on packets of traditional 'sweets' they are full of chemicals, e-numbers etc which I wouldn[t choose to give my dc - I hate it when they come back from parties after already having eaten bics, cakes etc, and have a goodie bag full of haribo's!

(p.s. funsize packs also useful for limiting choc for dieting mom!!)

oh i do love these sugar fights.
I would have thought 3 was old enough to brush teeth properly?
Personally i did the whole rice cake /water thing first timedd1 and haribo all the way second time.ds.
What did i end up with, dd craves sugar, ds actually turns down ice cream. So go figure?
It can seem like a really big deal when they are babes/toddlers but sugar really isn't poison, all sounds a bit healthorexia.

my DD's are 2 1/2 & 5 1/2.

When I say food isn't love, I am talking about rewards really. My mum is desperate to buy my girls stuff, now she brings up blueberries or kiwi gold. They are a big treat in our house.

We have very good food in our house & we all sit together at weekends. Sometimes in the evening if DH is.

All the sweets for children are so full of sugar & as they make me feel sick, I can't see they would do my DD's any good. I also get very cross when party bags come home full of junk. I do vet them though & will let them have something more likely to be a milkey way than a haribo.

We do have puddings, delicious homemade ones. But not every day, maybe every couple of weeks.

My mum gave me chocolate everyday & I was a chubby little thing, which I hated. I was also a terrible eater.

Re Teeth Cleaning - the girls (3 & 22 mths) do their own, then we do them. My dentist said they are about 8 before they can really do them properly themselves.... I know I did my own before then, my Dad used to give us the 'magic tables' sometimes to check! (not sure if you can still get them, but believe so, they show up all up the bits that haven't been cleaned properly!!).

disclosing tablets. They are fab - I'm not sure if they are still sold though as I can never find them.

My mum gave me chocolate instead of sweets because choc dissolves, rather than coating the teeth in sticky stuff. I don't have any fillings, so must be something in it.

You can get disclosing tablets at the chemist-well worth getting. We have used them a lot as DS had a brace and good tooth hygiene is vital. A 3 yr old is not capable of brushing their own teeth, they can have a stab, but you need to finish, I have had a lot to do with orthodontists so this is a fact, not an opinion.
It is fairly easy to have total control until about 6 yrs, after that you have to hope that your methods worked because you gradually lose control.

great, will see if my local boots sell them. I tried to buy them on-line & they didn't seem to be available.

They never seem to be on obvious display but they have them if you ask. We used them regularly when DS had the train track brace that doesn't come out; you think you have brushed your teeth but it shows up where you have missed. DS had to be taught brushing technique-a 3 yr old can't do it successfully by themselves.