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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think perhaps this wasn't the most appropriate way to bf baby in a public place?

464 replies

lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:29

OK I am usually all for breast feeding have breast fed all 3 of my dcs and if they were hungry in restraunt on train etc I would cover and feed them, however this shocked me.
Was in supermarket last night with 2 dds aged 5 and 7. Dds had nipped off to pick up some juice when dd1 rushed up to me with a bright red face and ushered my to the next aisle. There was a woman standing with her shirt unbuttoned feeding a baby who was sat upright in a trolley so every one that walked by could see exactly what she was doing and also had a clear view of her other boob that was hanging out her bra . Not only that the baby must have been about 7 or 8 months and was straining to reach as she sort of crouched to it's level.
Surely this is not the best way and she could have left her trolley and went into the baby room she didn't have that much stuff in there any way.

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 27/02/2009 21:15

I don't think the position makes any difference. I remember ds3 latching himself on when I was lying flat on my back and he seemed perfectly happy.

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:15

I'm wondering if some of the comments on this thread are a little naive. If the thread had been about a woman walking about topless down the aisles of Lidl, would you all be arguing about her rights? Wouldn't you perhaps think it a little distasteful, to say the least?

chipmonkey · 27/02/2009 21:17

I'd be a bit concerned that she might get cold, particularly if she were in the freezer section.

hercules1 · 27/02/2009 21:17

Dusterbuster - so true.I hate the " I have nothing against bf but....posts".

Henry - the two things are very different.

Horton · 27/02/2009 21:18

If a woman was walking topless down the aisles of Lidl and not feeding a baby at the time, I would wonder a bit about her mental health but it wouldn't distress me per se. I mean, they're just breasts. I don't find them inherently worrying or distasteful, no.

hunkermunker · 27/02/2009 21:18

Handy for her reusable shopping bags though, eh, Chipmonkey?

MrsMH, they're breasts. Big whoop.

CantSleepWontSleep · 27/02/2009 21:18

Has everyone missed shootfromthehip's post earlier...
'I was reading about a mum (not on here I hasten to add) who was shopping with her DH and got in the trolley to feed her LO (covered up) as her DH pushed her round the aisles. She shouted out what they needed and then he put it in the trolley beside her!'

Am absolutely loving that story, and hope that it's true. It's so practical and I wish I would have the nerve to do it (though the weight of me and my weekly shopping in the trolley might be a tad more than it could take!).

PSCMUM · 27/02/2009 21:21

if she walking about naked with her vagina and boobs out, i would worry she was crackers, or cold, but i wouldn't think about the 'appropriateness' that is just so 1800s ladies!

bundle · 27/02/2009 21:21

i saw a woman in bhs bottle feeding a tiny baby this lunchtime

i felt mildly uncomfortable

but I didn't make a fuss

Original poster
lollipopz · 27/02/2009 21:21

PCSMUM if you had read properly you would know it was my daughter not my son and she is 7 FGS most kids i know that age would have a giggle at a bit of bare flesh. She was the same when some teen flashed his arse at the bus window. Also you have made your point many times on this thread you are welcome to i appreciate all points of view but i don't know why you be now seem to be spoiling for an arguement sorry if i have upset you

OP posts:
tumtumtetum · 27/02/2009 21:23

If i saw someone walking around with their vagina out i would immediately call 999 for the prolapse team

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:24

To the 'they're just breasts' crew - yes, in some parts of the world people regard them as purely functional. But not in ours. Just as in some parts of the world you shouldn't show your legs or arms unless you want to pick someone up. But not in ours. Clearly you understand this distinction? So why are you being so disingenuous about our cultural norms?

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:25

ROFL tumtum!

bundle · 27/02/2009 21:25

mrsmhenry, where do you live?

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:26

Horton - I said 'it' was distasteful, not 'they' (i.e. not breasts in themselves)

hunkermunker · 27/02/2009 21:26

I'm not being disingenuous about our cultural norms.

I am part of this culture, after all.

And I'm not part of any crew or brigade - how disparaging that sort of terminology is.

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:26

Bundle - why?

hercules1 · 27/02/2009 21:26

Oh god, yes I guess our cultural norms are a but news of the worldie but we can hardly not be forgiven to wishing to rise above this view of breasts!

wastingmyeducation · 27/02/2009 21:26

Our culture. Cultures evolve all the time, changed from within by those living in it. It used to be normal to beat your wife. We changed that one.

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:27

Oh, good grief, hunker - there were several people on this thread saying 'they're just breasts', so rather than naming you all individually I called you a crew instead. Your response was rather hypersensitive IMO.

bundle · 27/02/2009 21:28

just wondered

"but not in ours" meant

culturally, like

Baghdad? Brixton? Mumbai? Middlewich?

nomoreamover · 27/02/2009 21:28

She was breastfeeding FGS - end of story - its a right not a priveledge to be able to BF your baby whenever and wherever he or needs it.

Until there are luxury comfortable chairs in supermarkets for BFing mothers to use then we'll just have to get used to seeing women's boobs falling out while they try (and probably fail) to get a comfortable position to bf in the supermarket aisle

Henry - it is the "cultural norm" in some parts of Africa to perform female circumcision - doesn't make it right or any less needing of change

PSCMUM · 27/02/2009 21:28

lollipops, really sorry, the gender of your child is the central point of all of my arguments and as I have got that wrong, i take them all back.

in saudi arabia women have to walk around covered up from head to toe, are not allowed to drive, work, think, or have sex with anyone to whom they are not married. They are the cultural 'norms' - is that sufficient to make them acceptable? there are lots of men sitting around in saudi saying that a woman's arm, leg, brain even, is not approparite to be seen outside the inside of her clothes, and so they all have to walk around looking like god knows what. i'm up for broadening our minds, and our cultural norms. a few years ago people could still ask you to leave their shop . cafe. whatever, for breastfeeding - that was the 'its not approparite' brigade, thankfully that is now over

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:28

So you'd happily prance around in a mini skirt in Saudi Arabia, on a quest to change their culture, wasting?

hercules1 · 27/02/2009 21:28

By that argument should my dh be out the pub at the monment and come in a 1 am pissed as a fart!

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