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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think perhaps this wasn't the most appropriate way to bf baby in a public place?

464 replies

lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:29

OK I am usually all for breast feeding have breast fed all 3 of my dcs and if they were hungry in restraunt on train etc I would cover and feed them, however this shocked me.
Was in supermarket last night with 2 dds aged 5 and 7. Dds had nipped off to pick up some juice when dd1 rushed up to me with a bright red face and ushered my to the next aisle. There was a woman standing with her shirt unbuttoned feeding a baby who was sat upright in a trolley so every one that walked by could see exactly what she was doing and also had a clear view of her other boob that was hanging out her bra . Not only that the baby must have been about 7 or 8 months and was straining to reach as she sort of crouched to it's level.
Surely this is not the best way and she could have left her trolley and went into the baby room she didn't have that much stuff in there any way.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 27/02/2009 21:29

MrsMH, it IS disparaging to use "crew" or "brigade".

Is it always this unpleasant on MN these days, btw? Everyone seems so ANGRY!

bundle · 27/02/2009 21:29

sorry, meant:

just wondered what

"but not in ours" meant

culturally, like

Baghdad? Brixton? Mumbai? Middlewich?

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:29

bundle - UK. I think it's safe to assume that most MNers are in the UK.

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:30

Hunker - funnily enough you're coming across as pretty cheesed off at the mo!

bundle · 27/02/2009 21:30

bottlefeeding is pretty much a cultural "norm" in the UK

doesn't mean it won't change

and in case you haven't noticed there's no sharia law in the uk

if indeed that is where you live

PSCMUM · 27/02/2009 21:30

no, she probably wouldn't, as she could be stoned. That too needs changing.

hunkermunker · 27/02/2009 21:31

Dunno why, I'm not, honest

bundle · 27/02/2009 21:31

mrsmhenry

ahhh

that's where you are wrong

it's hardly ever safe to assume

because it makes an ass
out of u
and me

Horton · 27/02/2009 21:33

Sorry, but no, I don't find a topless woman in any situation distasteful. As I've said, I think in some situations I would wonder if she was quite right in the head as it is not normal to walk around with your tits out in England. However, I wouldn't find it distasteful, just an, er, interesting choice to have made. If she was feeding her baby, I would not think anything other than 'good for you', frankly.

wastingmyeducation · 27/02/2009 21:33

No as I said, change the culture from within. I'm not in Saudi Arabia.

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:36

I wouldn't say bottlefeeding is a cultural norm here, actually, bundle.

Why on earth should it be considered more liberated to put one's norks on full view? Breasts, in our culture (UK - just for clarification) are both functional and sexual. Big deal. If I see a woman with her boobs bursting out, whether bfing, posing for a porn mag or whatever, I think it looks cheap/ tasteless, etc, and I don't especially want to see another woman's breasts.

As I said earlier, when I spent time in a country where it was the norm to walk about in the villages without a top on, but covering one's legs was essential, I wore longer skirts than I would at home. It wouldn't have made me more liberated to wear a shorter skirt, it would have been inconsiderate.

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:39

Hunker - I think it's the problem of typing rather than talking - words can be so much more easily misconstrued in print

wastingmyeducation · 27/02/2009 21:40

That's in someone else's culture though MrsM.
In our culture we change our cultural norms.

Horton · 27/02/2009 21:40

Her breasts weren't on full view, anyway! She had one nipple in a baby's mouth and the other partially exposed (presumably due to bra deficiency). I can't see the problem.

Threadworm · 27/02/2009 21:40

I don't think MN is any angrier now than it has been for the last couple of years hunker.

ChippingIn · 27/02/2009 21:51

Theyoungvisitor (21.07) - thanks for making my evening - needed a smile tonight.

I have read many pages, but not all.

OP I'm not suprised your DD was like and ]blush], it's not exactly how many of us would do it, is it?? What a weird way to be feeding a baby.... there sure are some odd folk out there.... it's got nothing to do with 'seeing a bit of flesh' or 'good v evil of breastfeeding' - it's just plain weird.... and I agree with piscesmoon (I hope it was you?!) who said it's puts people off and fuels the fire of the anti breastfeeding lot. I agree that when you breastfeed you don't sign up to be an ambassador for it, but regardless, bf'ing 'weirdly' really doesn't help the cause.

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:54

Bundle, that's one of my most loathed sayings. Makes me think of David Brent. I'm sure you're nothing like him, though!

This convo has reminded me of a story about two married actors. The woman was trying to revive her career and told her husband she'd been offered a role in a film in which she'd have to get her kit off. He told her 'honey, you have my blessing to take any role you want, but just remember that while you may be taking your top off for artistic reasons, the audience will just think: she's got her norks out'.

I'm sure feminists in the 70s were fighting for more important issues than the right to get our boobs out, non? Anyone see Life on Mars s1, where that busty woman came into the station and all the coppers were making openly lewd comments in front of and to her? I was so angry just watching it!!

(not angry on MN, though )

fledtoscotland · 27/02/2009 21:56

its not something i personally would do (the slurping noises would put the other shoppers off their beverages) but, in scotland, a baby has the right to be fed wherever and whenever. also 7 months old is still very young and milk will be the baby's primary source of food.

sorry but i do thing you are being a bit unreasonable.

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:58

wasting - my point is about being considerate about people's cultural norms. There's nothing harmful about not putting one's baps on display, or am I missing something? So I honestly don't see why such a big deal is being made about it, as if it's going to radically change women's lives to be able to do so. If I'd been the woman in the supermarket I'd have taken my kid out of the trolley and bf'd them discreetly - even if still walking round the aisles. So what's the big deal?

Morloth · 27/02/2009 22:03

How come only female breasts have to be hidden and are inappropriate? Men walk around in the summer with no shirts on. Its stupid, at least OURS are useful.

I am a bit amazed at your DD's reaction as well. I am 100% sure my DS wouldn't have blinked an eye, this may be because the sight of breasts/breastfeeding is not worthy of any comment because he sees both so often.

Horton · 27/02/2009 22:04

It's nothing to do with getting your boobs out! She didn't even have them out! Have you read the thread?

DaddyJ · 27/02/2009 22:08

Asda YES

Tell you what, I think I am missing out.
Will persuade missus to go shopping at Asbo next time!

tumtumtetum · 27/02/2009 22:09

Is it because ours our secondary sexual characteristics morloth - they arrive at puberty and are a visual display that a female has reached her reproductive age. Or something.

There must be some reason that it is breasts rather than eg knees that are displayed on page 3.

I just think that what the woman in the supermarket was doing sounds really really uncomfortable, which is why I would be

Morloth · 27/02/2009 22:12

So basically women have to cover their breasts because men might become excited? Screw that.

What's the difference between insisting a woman covers her breasts (and men don't have to) and insisting a woman covers her face?

wastingmyeducation · 27/02/2009 22:18

Having to hide one's breasts or oneself (fucking feeding rooms!) while bf because other people are uncomfortable is a form of cultural oppression.
It is symptomatic of a society that does not value mothers or babies.
The big deal is other people's issues with breastfeeding mothers and that needs to change. We don't change that by hiding.

I physically couldn't walk around bfing, but neither could I feed DS in the trolley. So I might sit cross-legged on the floor.