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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think perhaps this wasn't the most appropriate way to bf baby in a public place?

464 replies

lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:29

OK I am usually all for breast feeding have breast fed all 3 of my dcs and if they were hungry in restraunt on train etc I would cover and feed them, however this shocked me.
Was in supermarket last night with 2 dds aged 5 and 7. Dds had nipped off to pick up some juice when dd1 rushed up to me with a bright red face and ushered my to the next aisle. There was a woman standing with her shirt unbuttoned feeding a baby who was sat upright in a trolley so every one that walked by could see exactly what she was doing and also had a clear view of her other boob that was hanging out her bra . Not only that the baby must have been about 7 or 8 months and was straining to reach as she sort of crouched to it's level.
Surely this is not the best way and she could have left her trolley and went into the baby room she didn't have that much stuff in there any way.

OP posts:
PSCMUM · 27/02/2009 20:31

WEll I for one think everyone should chill out about body parts, i don't want it to be compulsory for everyone to walk around starkers, but if someone wants to breastfeed their child in a funky way, seriously, are we really that stiff we get all worked up about it?
maybe if she was giving someone a blow job in the fridge aisle and he was coming all over her face, you'd have a point.
But she was just feeding her kid.

Bubbaluv · 27/02/2009 20:33

Herbeatitude, Why do we have to normalise public boob exposure to change attitudes to bf?
I personally think it would set back the cause significantly to link the 2 ideas.
I want bf to be seen as totally normal, I don't want tits on display to be seen as acceptable in my supermarket.

wotulookinat · 27/02/2009 20:35

MarlaSinger, thanks for calling me a fucker
Piscesmoon is right - the militant breastfeeding partol put off people from breastfeeding.

chipmonkey · 27/02/2009 20:37

Maybe she comes from a culture where bfing while multi-tasking is a normal and essential part of a woman's life. For the life of me I can't understand how we in Ireland and the UK ever came to the conclusion that bfing is something only to be done on a couch with cushions and a decaff skinny latte. If our ancestors had taken that attitude they wouldn't have gotten much done!

PSCMUM · 27/02/2009 20:37

why don't you want tits on display in your supermarket?

some people feel the same about dead animals in tins, or products made by children working 15 hour days in bioling heat, or grown on illegal settlements in the west bank, or packaged to within an inch of their lives so we are all drowning in plastic rubbish, etc / there are lots of things that are really offensive in supermarkets. someone breastfeeding in a weird way so you can see her boobs - i don't see the problem. And I don't see any arguments on here convincing me otherwise!

crankytwanky · 27/02/2009 20:37

That's hilarious! It does sound painful though. I've fed babies whilst walking around but I was holding them and they were teeny.

hunkermunker · 27/02/2009 20:39

She was "foreign"?

Did you hear her speak?

PSCMUM · 27/02/2009 20:43

alleluia for chipmonkey, some sense!!

wotulookinat · 27/02/2009 20:46

I still think a dummy or a different food snack would have been more appropriate in the supermarket.

piscesmoon · 27/02/2009 20:48

I really don't think that the ins and outs of whether she should do it or not are important. The aim should surely be to get more women to bf and those who don't care who they upset to make their point actually do more harm than good.They put people off.(It doesn't matter whether they should or shouldn't put people off-they do!)

PSCMUM · 27/02/2009 20:50

o so this lady should not have breastfed like this as she will discrouage others from breastfeeding? is that the best argument we can come up with for why this is wrong?

why is it not 'appropriate'? What is appropriate?

Spidermama · 27/02/2009 20:51

I've mutli tasked, outside, with a toddler attached to my nipple.
I remember at the time feeling very grateful to be doing it at a festival (the Big Green Gatherin) where no-one batted an eyelid and on the contrary people smiled in support. If only life really was like that.

piscesmoon · 27/02/2009 20:53

It really doesn't matter if it is appropriate or not-it puts people off. If it didn't put people off this thread wouldn't be here! For the health of our DCs the aim should be to encourage-not put off.

PSCMUM · 27/02/2009 20:54

o fr gods sake, that is so not a realy argument - for the health of our dcs this woman should hide in a hole to breastfeed! that is not the real reason, if you are honest with yourself it is bevcasue you are incomfortable with her relaxed approach to her own body bevasue you are very uptight about your own. everyone here who obkects to this ladt BFing in this way needs to go to a nudist camp and chill the fuck out.

wastingmyeducation · 27/02/2009 20:55

Why would it put someone off?

chipmonkey · 27/02/2009 20:58

wotulookinat, why would a dummy or snack be better? All a dummy is, is a fake breast and I can tell you if ds4 wanted a bf and I gave him a bit of fruit he would howl the place down!

Original poster
lollipopz · 27/02/2009 21:01

TBH I have tried to explain that i have no problem with bf in public have done it many times with ds till he was nearly 2 and prob will again with this baby, The appropriate bit was aimed at the fact that this surely wasn't comfy for either mum or baby and baby prob wasn't getting as much as she would have if she was held.

OP posts:
PSCMUM · 27/02/2009 21:02

really - so what was all that stuff about your son blushing?

misdee · 27/02/2009 21:03

yesterday i bfed dd4 on the school steps at home time when collecting dd1+2 then i walked, whilst still feeding dd4, round the the nursery next door, to collect dd3

was that wrong?

PSCMUM · 27/02/2009 21:05

yes, highly 'inapproparite' you should have dug yourself a hole.

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 21:05

If you had your breasts hanging out I'd say it ws unseemly.

theyoungvisiter · 27/02/2009 21:07

"the militant breastfeeding partol put off people from breastfeeding"

Sorry but why the hell should all women who decide to feed their babies breastmilk automatically have to comport themselves as Ambassadors to the Cause? Perhaps she's just a woman going around her daily business and not really caring whether she's coming across as (shock) militant (gasp).

Besides which, if someone is daft enough to base their feeding decisions on whether they like the look of some woman in Asda then they really ought to get out more, shouldn't they?

"Well darling, I breastfed you primarily because there was this woman breastfeeding her child in Ikea and she was wearing this simply ravishing pair of Nine West high heels, and I thought, that's the look I want for me!"

dustbuster · 27/02/2009 21:09

My sister and I once fed both our DDs in a supermarket aisle. My DD was about 4 months, her DD was 16 months. We had a really busy day, the kids were knackered and having a melt down. There was nowhere to feed them, and we were desperate to finish our shop and go home. It wasn't ideal, but you do what you have to do.

I agree that those who are judging this woman should chill out. Nobody is forcing you to BF in a situation where you feel uncomfortable.

I am always surprised to see this sort of attitude on MN - BF is wonderful but only when it is done "appropriately". Of course everyone's definition of appropriate is different. Lots of people think any BF in public is inappropriate. Why should we accept your definition of inappropriateness, and not theirs? I am far from a militant BFer (not that there is anything wrong with that) but I think that anyone should be able to BF a child of any age anywhere in any fashion without be judged by MNers of all people!

PSCMUM · 27/02/2009 21:13

amen dustbuster

nomoreamover · 27/02/2009 21:14

theyoungvisitor - PMSL at that comment!!! Love it!