Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was this a reasonable punishment?

114 replies

mouseling · 26/02/2009 15:50

DS1 aged 5 told a girl in his class that she would die before him. She cried. As punishment DS1 missed his lunchtime play and spent all afternoon in the headteachers office. Do you think this was reasonable punishment?

OP posts:
dearprudence · 26/02/2009 15:52

Sounds a bit over the top to me.

nickschick · 26/02/2009 15:52

NO not in any way and if I were you Id be wanting to discuss this tomorrow with head. (assuming the other child is in good health)

poopscoop · 26/02/2009 15:53

bit OTT. Aged 5, missing a few mins of lunch play would have been enough, not the rest and the headmasters office. Prob put the fear of god up him.

MadamDeathstare · 26/02/2009 15:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pagwatch · 26/02/2009 15:54

ummm. Who told you exactly what happened. You do know really really smart and articulate 5 year olds have a way with the truth don't you......
And if it was the teacher who told you what happened did you ask whythey viewed it so seriously?

poopscoop · 26/02/2009 15:55

madam

fryalot · 26/02/2009 15:55

sounds well over the top.

In fact, it sounds so over the top that I would be worried that I hadn't got the full story from ds.

I would mention it to the teacher to make sure you have your facts right, if you have I would be concerned at this level of punishment.

Unless, of course, there is a health issue with the child in question

herbietea · 26/02/2009 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Stretch · 26/02/2009 15:57

He's 5!! My nearly 7 year old doesn't even understand the concept of dying! She thinks only older people die and it should be in age order!! Maybe this is what your son meant??

MrsWeasley · 26/02/2009 15:57

sounds a bit OTT, a quiet word about saying nice things/not nice things etc should be enough but please try to get another account of what happened before you complain! At that age it is sometimes not easy to remember why they were told off!

Countingthegreyhairs · 26/02/2009 16:00

Totally absurd punishment. At five yrs, dc don't properly understand the concept of death. A quiet word would have sufficed.

Would check this out with the teacher (or tell ds you are going to that and see what else he volunteers - surprising what more info my 5 yr old suddenly comes up with when I threaten to check facts with grown ups!!)

piscesmoon · 26/02/2009 16:10

You would really have to find out a lot more about it first. There is a lot of difference in saying it in a conversational way or a vicious way. You need to look into what started it first. I would talk to the Head and find out the whole story.

StewieGriffinsMom · 26/02/2009 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Sassybeast · 26/02/2009 16:13

Get the full story from the head.

unpaidworker · 26/02/2009 16:23

What? That sounds very OTT. Iw ould be very cross.

bumpybecky · 26/02/2009 16:33

OTT if that was all that happened

depending on what else was said / done before and afterwards, might be reasonable

as has been said, you need to get the full story from school

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/02/2009 16:50

i would speak to the teacher/head master tomorrow

it seems a very OTT punishment for the crime

can you ring the mum of the other child to get her side/view of the story?

Melscorp · 26/02/2009 16:55

It sounds OTT if that was all that happened.

I would speak to the teacher and headmaster tomorrow and then take it from there.

If that is all that really happened then Ido think the it is PC gone MAD!!!!

ScummyMummy · 26/02/2009 17:12

If that's definitely the whole truth and nothing but the truth it sounds like a ludicrous overreaction. Poor ds. Does the little girl have any particular reason to feel very sensitive about death? Recent bereavement or illness or anything?

Nabster · 26/02/2009 17:14

I think play time taken away and a talking too would have been sufficient. Was he in the room alone or with the Head?

Homebird8 · 26/02/2009 17:14

If the school can't deal with children talking about death then they aren't looking after the social and emotional welfare of the children very well. At this age surely a little chat with both children about everyone having a lifetime full of things important to them and their own lifespan being most important. There's a great book called "Beginnings and Endings with Lifetimes Inbetween" which sort of deals with this and what the end of a lifetime means.

laweaselmys · 26/02/2009 17:23

I had to deal with a 5 year old recently who was systematically going round the class telling all of the more sensitive kids that everyone in KS1 was going to be shot the next day. He knew exactly what he was doing. Your DS might not have - but you have to bear in mind that he also might have!

Find out what actually happened, and the full story. You don't know why the little girl was so upset to start with.

piscesmoon · 26/02/2009 17:52

You can't possibly speculate until you know the true facts and the only way to do that is to speak to the Head. It obviously wasn't just a case of talking about death, there must have been more to it. You need to find out why she took a hard line-only then can you work out whether it was reasonable. Most things are not black and white there are many shades of grey.

Original poster
mouseling · 26/02/2009 18:15

Thank you all for your opinions. The information I am going on was given to me by the Head. I have a meeting with her first thing tomorrow morning. It is useful for me to gauge with you whether this was disproportionate punishment.

OP posts:
Homebird8 · 27/02/2009 12:58

How did you get on mouseling?