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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was this a reasonable punishment?

114 replies

mouseling · 26/02/2009 15:50

DS1 aged 5 told a girl in his class that she would die before him. She cried. As punishment DS1 missed his lunchtime play and spent all afternoon in the headteachers office. Do you think this was reasonable punishment?

OP posts:
Melscorp · 27/02/2009 14:03

Yes, mousling???

DanJARMouse · 27/02/2009 14:06

very interested to hear the outcome of this.

Bubbaluv · 27/02/2009 14:28

Unless he also suggested that he was going to have a hand in it (her death) then surely this is an overreaction.
I find it hard to believe that the version of events you have been given has not been somewhat edited.

Bubbaluv · 27/02/2009 14:30

Sorry - didn't see your last post. Am
I would have though that saying "that's a silly thing to say xxxxx - please apologise to yyyyy as you have upset her" would have been more than enough.

HMC · 27/02/2009 14:32

Waaaaaay over the top - had the Head Teacher lost her marbles?

HMC · 27/02/2009 14:34

"I had to deal with a 5 year old recently who was systematically going round the class telling all of the more sensitive kids that everyone in KS1 was going to be shot the next day"

I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't, but I did have to stifle a giggle over that

laweaselmys · 27/02/2009 14:37

...okay, I confess it was kind of funny... but sometimes you have to be the grown up and be mad at them.

Homebird8 · 27/02/2009 15:50

The absence of mouseling is suggesting that the head has given her detention too!

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/02/2009 16:37

i was wondering what happened

Bigpants1 · 27/02/2009 19:24

oooh, i know what happened.She went to see Head, and in a moment of madness cos of punishment dished out to ds, she told him/her, that they,(Head), would die before her. Punishment ensued-morning in Heads office, followed by afternoon in cells at local police station where she is now writing 100 lines-I must not complain at ott punishment of ds or cause alarm/distress to Headteacher(or question my decision and make me realise i am infact a complete plonker).I will believe this version of events until i read otherwise.

ChippingIn · 27/02/2009 22:25

Agree with Bubbaluv

By Bubbaluv on Fri 27-Feb-09 14:30:35
Sorry - didn't see your last post. Am
I would have though that saying "that's a silly thing to say xxxxx - please apologise to yyyyy as you have upset her" would have been more than enough.

ChippingIn · 27/02/2009 22:25

AND would be very P'off with the school for the punishment. What will happen when he is actually naughty??? FFS

Original poster
mouseling · 27/02/2009 23:42

Well, after a very disheartening day it is heartwarming for me to see messages from people who care what happened. So thank you.

Bigpants1, my DP suggested that if the meeting did not go well this morning I should tell the Head that she will die before me!

What actually happened is that the head feels the answer is to clamp down further on DS1 in future. I have booked an appointment with the SENCO for next week because I don't know where else to turn.

OP posts:
Coldtits · 27/02/2009 23:44

Perhaps you need to research appropriate behavior and concepts and understanding for 5 year olds, and present your findings to the head?

Ds1 is nearly 6, and he thinks everyone older than him with die before him. Your son has effectively been punished for not understanding the way death happens.

scrooged · 27/02/2009 23:46

I'd be turning to another school! The reactions totally OTT, to clamp down on him more is going to leave him anxious and paraniod. He's going to feel singled out, this is never a good thing.

ChippingIn · 27/02/2009 23:47

mouseling - your DS (all of 5) told a little girl she would die before him and he lost a playtime and had to stay in her office all afternoon and she wants to clamp down futher on him. Have I got this right?? Have I missed the bit where he held her head down the loo to speed this up a bit????

She sounds like a nutter.

SENCO?? I'd be changing schools....

ScummyMummy · 27/02/2009 23:50

Why do they want to clamp down further, mouseling? Are there other concerns? It all sounds very strange.

piscesmoon · 28/02/2009 08:04

You still haven't told up what led up to it or what actually happened so it is still impossible to make a judgement on whether the Head is right to clamp down further.
I can imagine the story from the DC making a conversational observation where the Head is having a massive over reaction, to it being a disturbed DC who set alarm bells ringing.
From the information given we have no idea where the incident falls on the scale.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/02/2009 09:01

clamp down further on him?

hesa 6yr little boy who said something in passing

and prob didnt relieses what he had said anyway

did you manage to speak to the little girls parents?

Kimi · 28/02/2009 09:17

I got called in to the school when DS1 was in year 1 because he had made a bomb threat (this was before the world went mad after 9/11)
The school said it was a very grave matter!!!
Transpires DS1 and some other boys were playing a game at break where the school was the "prison" and DS1 said I will blow up the school and we can escape!! So I just laughed my way out of the school heads office promising to hide DS1s semtex and not let him on any how to make a bomb web sites for a month.

Total over reaction

Hope your DS is not too upset by it all

piscesmoon · 28/02/2009 09:26

We do not know from the OP that the DS merely said something in passing. Maybe it was a viscious attack and he knew exactly how to upset the girl. Unless we have more information we can't possibly speculate.

hercules1 · 28/02/2009 09:46

There is clearly far more background to this than the incident here ie it doesnt sound like a one off.

hercules1 · 28/02/2009 09:50

Just wanted to add that I see no benefit to spending the afternoon in the head's office for a 6 year old regardless of the misdemeanours.

Gorionine · 28/02/2009 10:00

I am struggling with this one (not about the punishment which is OTT IMO) but has the head teacher even tried to get to what you Ds actually meant by saying that/ I have got a 5yo DS3 and I can perfectly imagine him saying something like that if someone is slightly older than him as a fact of life: you are older than me (even if it is just a couple of days older) you will die before me IYSWIM? not as a death threat.

Gorionine · 28/02/2009 10:07

I can add, that over the course of life with 4 DCs, I have myself been OTT regarding comments they had made thast sounded very blunt. But, I realised that in their shoes, with their experience of life, the actual thought behind the words is usually not as bas as it sounds.

When DS2 was in nursery I got called in after class as he had called the teacher "woman" and she interpreted this as a sexist remarque (from a 3 1/2 yo) , but anyway... I asked DS2 to apologise(first) and then asked him why oh why would he say such a thing to her ? his reply" I could not remember her name and she is a woman!"