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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was this a reasonable punishment?

114 replies

mouseling · 26/02/2009 15:50

DS1 aged 5 told a girl in his class that she would die before him. She cried. As punishment DS1 missed his lunchtime play and spent all afternoon in the headteachers office. Do you think this was reasonable punishment?

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 28/02/2009 10:21

We still don't know how it was said. 6yrs olds are quite capable of being bullies-bullying isn't something that only appears in the junior school.

Bubbaluv · 28/02/2009 10:30

My Mum got called into school because my younger sister had been teaching her class mates the "ooh aah I lost my bra" song.
The teacher suggseted to my mother that maybe she should also have a word to me about teaching innaporpriate sings to my little sister. Mum felt compelled to admit that in fact she had taught the song to DSis and found it very amusing!

Gorionine · 28/02/2009 11:50

LOL Bubbaluv!

nbee84 · 28/02/2009 12:45

I think it is so wrong to punish a child for something they may not understand is wrong or upsetting.

As a 7 year old my Aunt & Uncle got divorced. I was smacked and grounded for telling my cousin that his Dad wasn't his Dad anymore (he was living with his Mum). I was 7 years old, nobody had explained divorce to me and I thought that as aunt & uncle were no longer husband and wife that it must follow with Mum & Dad. Instead of being punished I should have had things explained to me and then been asked to apologise to my cousin.

piscesmoon · 28/02/2009 15:04

It seems to me that you are all saying that a 6yr old can't be a bully! If your 6 yr old DC was being bullied you would expect the school to do something. We have absolutely no idea of the facts in this case.Maybe it was a perfectly innocent remark-maybe it wasn't.

seeker · 28/02/2009 15:15

I wonder why mouseling hasn't come back to tell us more?

Gorionine · 28/02/2009 21:04

piscemon, that is not what we are saying. What we are saying is that BEFORE saying he is a bully it might be worth getting to now how it was said. You are right, maybe it was not inocent, but if it was, this little boy has been unfairly punished.

scrooged · 28/02/2009 21:19

Ds was really told off before christmas, he was told a silly boy and had destroyed the hope of his team winning a carol competition. All he did was sneeze three times. I was watching. They won anyway

Gorionine · 28/02/2009 21:24

How ! how old is Ds scrooged?

scrooged · 28/02/2009 21:33

He's 9!!! He really did sneeze, I was in the audience watching!

Gorionine · 28/02/2009 21:36

Better than DS2 who had a finger in his nose all the way through the song he was siniging for "parents assembly"!

Gorionine · 28/02/2009 21:37

He was 4 BTW[smile and bless him emoticon].

scrooged · 28/02/2009 21:38

Classy! I hope you took lots of pictures so you can torment him when he's older!

SoupDragon · 28/02/2009 21:42

I think you should point out to your DS that, statistically, he is more likely to die before the girl simply because he is male.

Why on earth would a 5 year old say that to another child??

Gorionine · 28/02/2009 21:43

Yep, there is no escape! that is my weapon if he comes back home one day witrh a girlfriend I do not approve off! I will scare her off with them!

scrooged · 28/02/2009 21:50

The teacher even wrote on his sticker chart about ds's 'disgraceful' behaviour in assembly!! I ignored this.

I have bribery picture of ds dressed in my shoes and covered in food!

Gorionine · 28/02/2009 21:55

scrooged.

Soupdragon, isn't that a bit harsh as we still do not know exactly what he meant by it?

Please OP, come back and tell us more, what did he actually mean?

FairyMum · 28/02/2009 21:56

OTT

ChippingIn · 28/02/2009 21:59

Scrooged - have you spoken to the dragon teacher? I would have, that is ridiculous!!

StudentMadwife · 28/02/2009 22:00

yabr, hes 5 for gawds sake

Nighbynight · 28/02/2009 22:00

5 yr olds are not rational. they say anything! dd is 5, and fairly death obsessed at the moment.

punishment sounds completely OTT - I would question it with the school to make sure you have got all the facts.

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 28/02/2009 22:01

Impossible to assess without more info. Some adults are overly punitive and take irrational dislikes to certain children; some kids take a positive delight in upsetting others and need to be firmly taught to stop it.
(Oh and I laughed at the 'Everyone's going to be shot tomorrow' story as well).

scrooged · 28/02/2009 22:06

ds isn't there anymore. He starts a new school tomorrow. He's unlucky when it comes to schools, he was made to eat with the kindergarden children in the school before because the teacher thought he was eating off his knife because they were in the wrong hands and the teacher couldn't see

ChippingIn · 28/02/2009 22:19

Scrooged - are you at the point of considering home schooling yet??? I hope he enjoys his new school.

Did you think that starting him on a Sunday would be less likely to upset the new teacher ?

scrooged · 28/02/2009 22:32

Doh! Monday!! He starts on Monday.

I couldn't home school, he's too bright, I'd never keep up. He's going to the local state school, it's alot closer, easier to get to and I'm hoping he'll make friends and be able to have someone to play with during the holidays. He's an only child, he was at a private school and he didn't have anyone to play with in the holidays as they are all either away or live too far.

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