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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel sorry for the 15 year old mum?

122 replies

SweatyArseCrack · 16/02/2009 14:07

I know there is already a thread going about this but I've just been reading a story about all these other boys coming forward saying that they slept with her. One boy is quoted as saying "She kept asking me out but I didn't want to because I thought she was ugly but I did sleep with her" etc etc...

Not only is it now all over the papers that she's had a baby at 15, the entire nation knows that she allegedly slept around, had sex with what looks like an 8 year old and she will probably read at some point that the lads thought she ws ugly but slept with her anyway.

I can't imagine what this must be doing to her. Her confidence was already low to start with but she's nothing more than a freak show now.

The young lad has the baby face which just makes everyone think "awww" whereas she is totally demonised and dragged through the mud. And she's only 15.

OP posts:

Iklboo · 16/02/2009 14:09

I read it was the boy's dad's idea to sell the story and 'make a packet'

beanieb · 16/02/2009 14:11

Yeah - I fel very sorry for her because in a way she is getting all the blame because she is female and ultimately society likes to put as much blame onto women for these kinds of things as possible.

beanieb · 16/02/2009 14:12

meant to add, comes to something when a string of teenage boys can go to the papers and have stories printed about how they slept with an underage girl as if there's absolutely nothing wrong with their behaviour and everything wrong with hers.

Sassybeast · 16/02/2009 14:12

I think her parents should have considered the implications before allowing her to be plastered all over the newspapers. I have no sympathy for any of them - whole thing seems like a huge joke and the only person I feel sorry for is that poor baby. A bloody money maker at a week old ? Shame on them all.

KingCanuteIAm · 16/02/2009 14:13

I feel for her, it is another situation where the press have stepped in where anyone with any morals would have said "no thanks this is a family matter" rather than hand out money like they have.

To me it sounds like she was tying to use sex to get companionship they way a lot of girls her age do. Very sad and I can't see how it can end well unless she turns out to have the hide of a rhino and a backbone of steel

piscesmoon · 16/02/2009 14:14

Unfortunately it is all a bit late now-her family should have been shielding her and there should have been no publicity at all. Once you become public property there is nothing you can do. I think it all boils down to a misguided effort to make money.I would very much doubt, as other have said, that he is the father.

Geepers · 16/02/2009 14:16

I have every sympathy in the world for her. How utterly mortifying for her to not only be 15 and a new mum, but to also have to deal with all the added shit that her family have caused by pimping her out to teh media.

TheBFG · 16/02/2009 14:18

Have no sympathy for any of them.

At least one of the boys is demanding a DNA test as he says the baby is his. So maybe he will actually take responsibility?

And yes she is under age but so is the thirteen year old boy. Considerably more under age than her in fact.

I think it's time society took a less tolerant approach to all these teenage pregnancies. There needs to be some middle ground between the 50s where women were locked away, and now when they're given a house and having a baby at fifteen is seen as something to celebrate.

Having a baby at fifteen is nothing to be proud of.

KingCanuteIAm · 16/02/2009 14:21

BFG, I have not seen any celebrating associated with this except for the family and it is clear thay have dubious ideas in any case.

Geepers · 16/02/2009 14:22

TheBFG but once it has happened where is the benefit of punishing the new mother?

I went through that. Got pregnant at 13, was made to feel my baby was a punishment, wasn't allowed to enjoy anything, if he was miserable, then I was miserable and that was good as I had apparently comitted some kind of crime.

I HATE my parents for it. WHY should my first experience of motherhood have been made into a punishment and basically hell, just because I made a wrong choice?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 16/02/2009 14:24

Personally I think the girl's parents should be locked up. What kind of hideous excuse for a parent let's their 14/15 year old girl sleep with a sucession of boys under their own roof?? I know some people will say better in her own bed than on a park bench etc etc but it amounts to abuse IMO.

Pingping · 16/02/2009 14:26

Its all abit shameless now.

All this money involved in it I do pity the young girl but then her parents should of thought about the outcome before selling the stories.

To all involved in this they should realise its nothing to be proud of or to celebrate.

I really hope that the baby is given the right care.

sassy · 16/02/2009 14:31

Hijack- sassybeast could I borrow you on this thread please?

beanieb · 16/02/2009 14:32

NB - when I was talking about her being underage I meant in relation to the other boys who have gone to the media claiming they slept with her.

beanieb · 16/02/2009 14:32

NB - when I was talking about her being underage I meant in relation to the other boys who have gone to the media claiming they slept with her.

Tamarto · 16/02/2009 14:37

No YANBU - It sickens me to read some of the things said about her, she is a child still, which is something some people are choosing to ignore.

The parents of both her and the boy are a disgrace and i am astounded that males over 16 are bragging about 'having sex with her' and that is ok

lilstarry1 · 16/02/2009 15:13

I think it's deplorable that a young girl would feel the need to behave in such a way, I think it's easy to blame the parents - but isn't there more going on? Society allows this behaviour, it's ongoing! I don't have a particularly strong problem with her being sexually active, the legal age of consent is lower in other European countries. The problem is STD's and pregnancy! I don't think every 15 year old should be tarnished with the same brush, at 15 I had my head more screwed on than some older women, BUT she has shown she is immature by allowing this media circus to exist.

She is clearly selfish and thoughtless, her poor baby deserves so much more! It pisses me off that the media can even sell such a story, it shouldn't have been allowed to be sold! The families are all questionable morally.

But I also agree that she is taking a lot of the responsibility, when surely there are more people involved! The parents who allowed her to have various partners over, the boys parents who neglected to teach their sons the benefits of safe sex (ditto the girls parents) the young lads parents for exploiting him to get cash.. urgh it makes me nauseous.

ra29needsabettername · 16/02/2009 15:41

geepers

I can not understand how any of you can feel so harshly towards these children...

Frasersmum123 · 16/02/2009 16:26

YANBU

I feel so sorry for he, as she seems to be the one vilified, but she is just a child, and is only a product of her environment.

HappyMummyOfOne · 16/02/2009 16:27

Whilst I agree she is a child in the eyes of the law, from reading reports it seems she had already had numerous partners, was on the pill and therefore quite a grown up 15 year old.

I dont feel sorry for any of them apart from the baby. The parents obviously let them down, in allowing the sex to take place in the first instance and then selling out to the highest bidder.

Perhaps when we dispense of the generous benefit and housing system, then teenage pregnancy will drop to the rates of other countries. Until then, its simply seen as a way of life to many, money and a house without having to work to earn it.

dittany · 16/02/2009 16:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Geepers · 16/02/2009 16:34

Agree with dittany.

That girl will have no choice in what is happening to her. If her parents tell her to do an interview, what is she supposed to do? Refuse?

TheCrackFox · 16/02/2009 16:36

I am very angry with the grandparents involved. Firstly, she shouldn't have been having those kind of sleepovers and secondly why sell the story?

Her name has been dragged through the mud and that poor baby will grow up and read all those stories.

The Sun should be ashamed of itself for running the story.

The 13 yr old boy and 15 yr old girl have been very badly let down by their parents.

chickenfortea · 16/02/2009 16:39

As it was worded on some TV today (working from home and bored)
"The children should be in school and the parents in jail."
Child neglect and bad parenting are what have caused this.

chickenfortea · 16/02/2009 16:43

or even are the cause of this

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