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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that 'Alfie' the 13 year old 'father' is not actually the real Dad

168 replies

lazymumofteenagesons · 15/02/2009 17:20

He is supposed to have fathered this child about 9+months ago. He doesn't look like he has reached puberty and it has been reported that his voice hasn't yet broken.
AIBU to feel that biologically he just couldn't have done this?
Is this just a money making scheme?

OP posts:
ladymariner · 16/02/2009 17:02

Slight over-reaction there, peachy, but hey, you want to get all dramatic then go ahead....

qwertpoiuy · 16/02/2009 18:30

amazing how much publicity this has generated. I know it's a cliché, but if we didn't buy these "news"papers there would not be a market for stories like this. And the likes of Alfie's father would not be profiteering from these unfortunate youngsters.

Qally · 16/02/2009 19:00

I'm mostly horrified that they've been named and pictured in the media. There should be a privacy test that demands the press to have regard to long-term harm to the children, not just parental consent - because IMO some parents see pound signs, rather than their children's best interests. Sure, the story was in the public interest, but showing the kids' faces was just satisfying the interest of the public.

That girl might as well have a scarlet letter on her forehead, and that boy is a laughing stock. And they're probably going to be Googlable till they're 40.

PeachyHasABrokenKeyboardSorry · 16/02/2009 19:14

Thanks for the permission ladymariner

I also think her parents should be looked at- my guess is they re being (SS put out a statement saying they will have intensive involvement). They do seemappalling (with the caveat of pressportrayal obv)

ladymariner · 16/02/2009 19:24

No problem, we'll agree to disagree Seems to be a lot of that going on on this thread!

Kimi · 16/02/2009 19:26

Poor little lad. fathering babies instead of being at home watching Star Trek

If he was a treky he would not be having sex till he was at least 25

I hope it is one of the other boys she slept with, 13 is too young to be a dad

Pan · 16/02/2009 21:07

How the press should be reporting it....

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 16/02/2009 21:48

"If he was a treky he would not be having sex till he was at least 25"

I object! I think almost my entire friendship group would too

Kimi · 17/02/2009 09:08

ROFLMAO Pan

You know they are going to beat you to death with some boden for that though don't you.

AnyFucker · 17/02/2009 11:18

lol kimi, there has strangely been no backlash to pan's cleverly-aimed arrow !

amidaiwish · 17/02/2009 11:29

personally i think the baby (and any baby born to underage girls) should be taken into care/up for adoption
if you are a white couple it seems to be impossible to adopt.
that would stop young teens having a baby as a "lifestyle choice" "means to get a flat/escape school/exams etc.."

and i know i have just lit the torch paper or whatever the saying is.

georgimama · 17/02/2009 14:58

That's because Pan's link was so funny everyone has choked to death.

Amidaiwish, what exactly makes you think white couples can't adopt? And what has that got to do with anything?

A baby being forceably removed from parents because of a blanket assumption that the parents will not be able to cope because of their age/disability/race whatever reason is a hallmark of a totalitarian state. I'll pass, thanks.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 17/02/2009 15:09

Amadaiwish - I was adopted at birth because of the social stigma attached to single motherhood in the 1960s. I was raised in the idyllic circumstances you describe - I have had a very nice life with a very nice family. But it is not a panacea. Even the most successful adoption (and mine was unquestionably one of those) leaves all sorts of complex emotional problems and unanswered questions that can haunt you for the rest of your life. Mine do. I don't know if I would have had a worse life if my birth mother had been allowed to keep me, but I know if I had been given the choice I would have chosen to stay.

wasabipeanut · 17/02/2009 15:13

PMSL at Pans link.

sausagenmash · 17/02/2009 15:23

Nooooooooo. There is absolutely NO WAY that Alfie is the father! NO. Yes, 13 year olds can father children - if they are physiologically mature, and their testes are big enough (8mls size is the start of pubertal signs)... but good grief, the boys are usually bigger than Alfie is! If he is really 13, then he has exceedingly delayed growth and puberty - and they go hand in hand in boys, I'm afraid! Lets just see what the DNA results say... I'm sure we'll find out soon.... a very, very sad story all round. Alfie and Chantelle's parents should be ashamed of themselves..

AnyFucker · 17/02/2009 15:29

apparently, we are all going to find out the paternity by the powers of the goggle box....

I believe the test is to be televised

I sooooooo wish the whole nation would all switch off at the same time

have we stooped soooo low, that this is done in the name of "entertainment"??

expatinscotland · 17/02/2009 15:30

Aw, man! You mean Jeremy Kyle didn't offer them enough to come on his show for one of his 'Who's the Daddy?' episodes!?

poshwellies · 17/02/2009 15:37

One of the other boys(who the claims he has slept with the teenage girl) mother has been on Jeremy Kyle twice, so I read.

amidaiwish · 17/02/2009 15:46

social services try to ensure ethnic backgrounds of babies are matched to adoptive parents as much as possible. there are very few/no "white" babies available for adoption and lots of parents clamouring for them. that's what i meant.

thanks for your comment ladyglencora - maybe i shouldn't see things so black & white. my sister wants to adopt and is facing nothing but brick walls. so sad.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 17/02/2009 19:54

I do understand Amadaiwish, but adoption is about doing the right thing for the child, and the right thing for the child is almost always to let it stay with its mother.

christywhisty · 17/02/2009 20:20

why ladyglencorpalliser. My great aunt and uncle fostered a little girl back in the 60's, they wanted to adopt her but ss said they were too old and sent her back to the mother. She was dead within a few months, not sure if it was neglect or abuse either way she would have been better off with old foster parents than with her mother.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 17/02/2009 20:44

That's why I said 'almost' always, Christywhisty. There are always going to be cases sadly, where children need to be removed from their biological parents. But for most of the babies adopted in the fifties and sixties that wasn't the case. We were victims of the social mores of the time.

kalo12 · 17/02/2009 20:45

I think the media is wholly irresponsible for presenting this story as all shock and horror at these kids having sex, and also seems to be saying 'oh they will have to pay for the consequences by looking after the baby' as if this is a punishment.

of course there will be heavy social service involvement and the parents of the teenagers will have joint custody along with social services, but the media doesn't report this.

Doesn't anyone worry about the baby? Doesn't the media want to express shock about this?
There have already been some shocking cases about the maltreatment of babies recently. Surely no one is suggesting that these two kids are capable of bringing up a baby.
being a mother is the hardest job in the world and there is not that much support for it in britain.

the class system is so devisive in this country. This benefit class have such little aspiration and generation upon generation of poverty.
Its ridiculous to say well people could go to university if they really worked hard, or even making opportunities like this available.
Why is university so desirable? Why is academia the be all of achievment?
In other european countries craftmanship like carpentry, butchery, engineering are high status carreers. In france even being a waiter is a proper profession, not just something gap year students do.
That means that much more of the population are deemed worthwhile, not just the academic ones.

Also the benefit class system doesn't work. One main complaint is' why should i work when i am better off on benefits?'
well because everyone should have to earn their own living, because its good for them , for their self worth, mental health, society as a whole etc. Benefits are there as a 'safety net' for people who are unable to work.

there are many changes that need to be made, bringing up children is the hardest and most important job in the world.

stopping underage sex is the least of the problems

Pan · 18/02/2009 02:20

Gulp, yes, Kalo. You are evidently right, in my eyes at least. An ex of mime is Italian, and is the "best waitress" in Bolzano, N. Italy, and she is very widely respected in her town.

The link was cheeky, yes, but it does highlight the crass notion that 1. under-age sex is 'new'. 2. The existence of underage sex could possibly lead to pregnancy, and 3. Masturbation for the just-post pubuscent is much less stressful, more enjoyable, and sans consequence, than full vaginal intercourse with a female. >

nooka · 18/02/2009 03:37

I don't think academia (well at least getting a degree) is the most important thing in the world, nor is it the only route to future success. After all the government target is 50% and in the past it has been much lower than that. 50
+% of the population do not have worthless lives. Indeed my dh's family (none of whom stayed at school beyond 16) think that he is the one who is a lay-about because he went to university. Their definition of success is to work. Status is very dependent on where you look from in any case, different people respect different things.

However I agree that not providing lots of roots for young people to take into adulthood is one of the root causes of cases like this. I wonder whether Alfie felt a need to be more grown up because of being so small and babyfaced? He certainly seems to have long given up on school.