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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that 'Alfie' the 13 year old 'father' is not actually the real Dad

168 replies

lazymumofteenagesons · 15/02/2009 17:20

He is supposed to have fathered this child about 9+months ago. He doesn't look like he has reached puberty and it has been reported that his voice hasn't yet broken.
AIBU to feel that biologically he just couldn't have done this?
Is this just a money making scheme?

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 15/02/2009 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

themildmanneredjanitor · 15/02/2009 20:08

This reply has been deleted

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nannyL · 15/02/2009 20:19

completely agre with you theMMJ!

i think they ought to be taken into care where they will be CARED for and taught how to and how not to behave

6inchnipples · 15/02/2009 20:26

sadly when you are taken into care its often not much better, often worse.

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 15/02/2009 20:31

Having a solid steady relationship is not actually the most important thing about successful parenthood.

Flocci · 15/02/2009 20:32

Jees what a total mess we seem to be in right now. Kids having sex and not thinking that is a bad thing .... their parents also apparently not that bothered... the state not bothering to punish them or make an example of them because there is no point or there aren't resources to do that properly..... and finally you can't even take these kids all into care and try and rescue their childhoods and set them straight because the Care system is often not capable of offering the care it should. What a mess.

SlartyBartFast · 15/02/2009 20:39

as my dh pointed out, 30 years ago, she would have been put into a mental asylum - and he would have been moved somewhere else.

ScottishMummy · 15/02/2009 20:48

don't advocate removing the children.do advocate huge SW and therapeutic input esp family therapy

allocate key workers, Nursery nurses and try support these adolescent child parents.as the parents apparently incapable or don't care.too fuck witted to care their child is sexually active

scarletlilybug · 15/02/2009 21:01

These new parents (the teenage ones, I mean) - well, they're not even legally old enough to babysit their own children.

I honestly don't think that cases like this are about contraception or lack thereof - they're about lack of aspirations and (sounds very old-fashioned), but lack of "shame". (Sorry, can't think of a better word for it... but it seems that in certain circles, children having children is no scandal)

EightiesChick · 15/02/2009 21:02

Agree with BouncingTurtle - when I was 15 there was no way any of the girls at my school would have gone with a boy 3 years younger. If anything it would be the girl in a couple who was usually 3 years younger. He looks way too baby faced to be attractive to an older girl as a boyfriend.

giraffescantdancethetango · 15/02/2009 21:09

scarlet I dont think there is a legal age for babysitting is there?

scarletlilybug · 15/02/2009 21:16

OK, not technically a legal babysitting age. But if a child comes to harm whilst being cared for by someone less than 16 years old, the child's parents could be deemed tpo have been neglectful. In effect, these new parenst are not yet old enough to look after their own child unsupervised.

poopscoop · 15/02/2009 21:23

agree with the OP and others here. Disbelief that the boy could physically be the father. I know all boys mature at different ages, but when i saw his picture, he realy does look like a very young child.

Far more likely to be one of the older lads, and hopefullly a DNA test will be done shortly to sort this out.

Agree with those who think alfie was named in order to stop the older boy being prosecuted. The truth will out,

SweetAudrina · 15/02/2009 21:31

Poor little lad. fathering babies instead of being at home watching Star Trek

keepingitRia · 15/02/2009 21:37

on the other thread someone suggested far more foul play than one of the other lads being the father.

I just hope if he is not the father and it is a "scam" he was in on it. However old he is it's cruel to make him believe he is and go through all this publicity if they all know he isn't. IYSWIM.

keepingitRia · 15/02/2009 21:38

if it is a scam.

AuntieMaggie · 15/02/2009 21:56

Contraversial question - but if you were the girl's mother would you want her to go through with having the baby? What if you were the boys mother?

keepingitRia · 15/02/2009 22:06

did the girl's parents find out in time to stop her going through with it?

I can't answer that one, and I don't know what my parents would have done in that situation either. It is one moral against another I think. what would you do?

SweetAudrina · 15/02/2009 22:10

Well, the lad's father looks like a loving and intelligent creature:

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1145643/Parents-13-year-old-father-Alfie-embroiled-tawdry-battle-ma ke-packet-scandal.html

No way is that kid the 'father'.

dittany · 15/02/2009 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeachyHasABrokenKeyboardSorry · 15/02/2009 22:22

The quote I saw regarding keeping the baby was from a Catholic Priest so I suspect faith may be linked to the reason to keep the baby.

But..... you now, if ther Dad wasnt 13 this wouldnt ame the news: happens regularly enough,did none of you see that programme of that school for teenage mums recently? Was amazing,and some of the girls there Alfie's age. (Shame if you didnt see it- 14 (iirc) year old girl having home birth was amazing).

Not quite so sue why the other way round is almost unremarkable but this way around....

(My worst case scenario says better the girl is older as surely chances are Mum will end up separated from Alfie and better it be the older one no?).

Is sad though; Alfie and my 9 year old ds1 look similar ages- Heaven forbid!

poshwellies · 15/02/2009 23:02

Oh there was alot of 'underage' births in the 40's/50's/60's-they just got shipped off to nursing homes and came back 'treated'(ie without the child).

Funny how this story has hit the news,plenty of 13 year old girls giving birth in our county (think one school near by, has a special unit within school to accomodate pregnant teens and babies)

I doubt he did father the child,but only because I feel he looks like my 6 yr old son,innocent and childlike-who is to know he is producing active sperm.

Upwind · 16/02/2009 05:13

By themildmanneredjanitor on Sun 15-Feb-09 20:07:24
"upwind-are you serious? are you being sarcastic? what opportunites is she missing out on-apart from education, travel, a social life etc etc??"

  • Do you think it likely that Chantelle aspired to a middle class life with a third level education? Or travel to areas that would not be easy with a child? I don't see how a baby prevents her having a social life or travelling abroad on holdidays

"i absolutley despair and have no iodea what the answer is.ther eis lots of talk about 'there is nothing to do so the kids ened up having sex'do you think that in the 40', 50's, 60', -even the 70's that were endless things for kids to be doing-wonderfully resourced youth cclubs and things? no-kids played with their mates, did their homework, and were at home with their families at a reasonable hour."

  • not all kids even then, as has been pointed out elsewhere on the thread, incentives were different then. Instead of being supported by the state and provided with accomodation, teenage parents had to find a way of supporting their own children or give them up for adoption. The social stigma was immense. Now that the state provides, the stigma is gone. Fathers do not need to support their children, and often can't to the level that the state does.
cory · 16/02/2009 08:09

The sad thing of course is she is missing out on genuine opportunities, though these perhaps would not have included travelling to the Bahamas. She is missing out on having her first baby when she is physically and psychologically mature to make the most of it. She is missing out on the chance of having the baby with a partner who can help to look after it. She is probably missing out on the chance of getting a job and having a measure of control of her own life- it is not true that no children from council estates ever get any jobs at all. And she is missing out on another few years of hanging out with her mates (and boys) without the responsibilities of a baby. I'd call that quite a bit to miss out on.

titchy · 16/02/2009 09:08

Is anyone else questioning Alfie's real age? Apparetnly he is only 4 feet tall. If that's true then no way is he 13, unless he has some medical condition that is stopping him growing.

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