to expect to use a disabled toilet when I'm out with the pram?

[CT123]

I can't use the ladies when I have my baby with me in the pram. The only thing I can do is wheel him into the disabled toilet with me. But the disabled toilets have special locks on them, which presumably disabled people have special keys for. I appreciate that they want to stop able-bodied people hogging disabled toilets but what else can I do?

Puppy she said she had a baby also

and used the loo as unloike most of us she could not hear if the baby had a problem or was crying

How's that not right?

I cannot undo my jeans and get them down whilst holding a baby, nor pull them up again. I'm very impressed by anyone who can. I have taken my baby into the loo while he was in a sling but you don't half get some funny looks!

I can, please be impressed with me! (coz not many people are LOL )

I used to do that, spicemonster (take them in a sling, I mean) but it seems unfair on the baby somehow, doesn't it!

Nobody said "an adult with a buggy is worse off than a deaf person". Just less able to fit into a tiny toilet cubicle.

As the mother of a disabled baby (yes, baby - hulking great buggy n' all) I would never dream of using a disabled loo. He may be disabled, but he is a baby.

As an adult, I can time my trips out to avoid using public toilets full stop, but if caught short, I use the end loo and leave the door ajar, whilst I become even more adept at the worlds quickest wee.

If I can bear to be physically parted from my brain damaged, blind and epileptic son for just a few seconds, then I'm sure you can too.

I've always just propped open the cubicle door with the buggy and gone very quickly .

x-posted, feeling better!

Definitely use the disabled loo. One day we might be reading about the baby that was abducted afterbeing left outside a toilet cubicle and we will all be saying 'you should have used the disabled loo!'

Sorry but if a disabled person got the arse with me for using 'their' toilet I would point that out and let them think about it.

I would always let a disabled person go before me but I would not feel guilty for using the loo, my children are precious and I will not risk their safety just in case I offend someone in a wheelchair!!!!!

• bit of an extreme reaction I know but this is a subject thats gets right on my goat!

She does it because she can only see her child, not hear him, if he started making any strange noises, or started to cry.

I can (well used to be able to, haven't needed to do it for a while!) take my baby into the toilet with me, and do up jeans.

OT, but I can also eat a whole fish with one hand (using the other to hold my baby...)

What boffinmum said way down the thread: there are two separate issues. Disabled people with mobility difficulties, continence issues or other impairments which require particular access to a dedicated toilet should have exclusive access to them and there should be more.

And able bodied people should, in principle, not use those dedicated loos.

The 'you can change your baby on your knee you bunch of sissies' argument however is not an adequate response to the problem. Parents' access to the toilet for themselves and their children is also limited by (lack of) environmental planning. Babies cannot just be sat on the knee or changed on the floor or sometimes left outside in the pushchair and it is unreasonable to expect this to be the default position. What is you have more than one child, including a newborn and two demanding toddlers who will just run off? Have you tried changing a mooncup with one hand?

There should, of course, be more proper disabled loos AND more parent and baby loos. Both should have adequate space, washing facilities within the cubicle and people should observe the notion of exclusive access for those groups. This is also affected of course by the general inadequacy of public toilets fullstop and the additional burden this places on women in particular, but don't get me started on that one...

In Brighton's shopping centre there are two loos for people with disabilities. Inside the ladies loo there is another disabled loo, and 2 or maybe 3 of the 10 or so standard loos is a double-sized one, where people with buggies or small children can all get in together. Bl**dy good idea it is too.
I do think the combining of disabled loos and baby change is a bad one and undermines the justification for disabled loos. There shold be appropriate facilities for both (and toilets in changing rooms, and no mixed feeding and changin rooms).

Having said all that, I have used the disabled loos when my children were in buggies, but I have never gone in ahead of someone with a disability, and have made sure I was quick. I did not feel safe leaving my child unattended in a buggy where they could be very quickly and silently wheeled off, nor was I prepared to put then down on the floor of a public toilet.

I do think there is a distinction between disabled parking bays and loos, but really people with buggies shouldn't have to be in conflict with those with disabiliities, we just need better planners for our buildings.

It's shouting if you use caps on here right? Just to clarify that. So

'I would always let a disabled person go before me but I would not feel guilty for using the loo, my children are precious and I will not risk their safety just in case I offend someone in a wheelchair!!!!!'

NOT ALL DISABLED PEOPLE ARE IN A WHEELCHAIR. SOME ARE, SOME ARE NOT, SOME YOU CAN SEE THEY ARE DISABLED OTHERS YOU WOULD NOT HAVE A CLUE BY LOOKING.

Phew.

My sil used the end loo, got wriggling baby out of the pram, managed to get her jeans down, sat down, weed and then realised to her horror, the toilet lid seat was down.

D'oh! WilfSelf got there quicker and more eloquently!

The "simple" answer would be to have 2 disabled/wide toilets - one full disabled and one bigger than usual cubical without all the rails. The chances of both being occupied are fairly low I would have thought. In central Croydon there are 2 lots of 2 "family" facilities. One set in the Whitgift centre, and (at least) one set in Centrale. These are at opposite ends of the shopping area so I guess it's pretty good coverage. I've never had to wait for them.

You wouldn't necessarily hear a baby whose buggy is quietly being wheeled away, even if you have perfect hearing.

Sorry, but no baby of mine is being left outside as I go in the toilet, and no amount of finger wagging is changing that.

Yes, obviously I meant "more difficulty" at the particular moment of needing a wee - not in general!

The point I was making is that a deaf person with no buggy to push (so not necessarily that lady who posted or anything, she just made me think of the issue) can officially use a disabled loo. But a mum with a mahoosive pram cannot.

Just seems a bit to me.

Anyway, like I said Westfield loos are the biz!

Just a thought - what about those women who have irritable bladders after having a baby? It is quite common, and not always possible to wait until you get home.I know it is by no means a disability, but makes bladder urgency a real problem...

I do think there is a difference between using a disbaled loo for a wee as an adult than using it to change a nappy. You can change a nappy anywhere. I beleive it is an offence to wee in the street?

What I dont get is why people cant generally wait? I can; its exceedingly rare I usec a public loo for myself.

If someone posrd i had a bit of an emergency and usefd a disabed loo I wouldn't be bothered tbh, its the assumption that they're just there for the taking and even that people complain about radar keys!!!

Cote do you have a radar key?

I don't even know what a 'radar key' is.

Here in France, disabled toilets are not locked.

Severe blader urgency (mu Mum gets it) IMO is reason to use a disabled loo if you cannot get a free toilet I think. It'd be a cruel person who'd tell you to wait and wet yourself.

CoteDAzur, Flumpybumpy: have you read what Peachy and Embarrassed have written? And you still think that your needs are greater? I am lost for words.

Nobody is saying you should leave the child out of sight - either leave them in the buggy with the door ajar, or bring them in with you.

tbh then Cote I wuldnt have an issue: I know other sn aprents would but for myself I see a big difference between cant find another way to sort an eme4rgenxcy and deliberately sourced a key for disabled loo use, iyswim.

There is no way in the world I would shut myself in a normal cubicle and leave the buggy outside either....

But that's not what we are suggesting, we have made other suggestions though, because there will be times when you simply can't get to a disabled toilet, if you're one who thinks it's ok to use one even if you're not disabled, so you need to know what to do!

Our local park has a great cafe, but only two toilets. I guess there is a disabled toilet, but have never sussed it out. If I need to go, I don't leave DS2 outside, I just reverse his buggy into the cubicle as far as it will go (and they are tiny cubicles!), and go from there..

so now you know!