to expect to use a disabled toilet when I'm out with the pram?

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I can't use the ladies when I have my baby with me in the pram. The only thing I can do is wheel him into the disabled toilet with me. But the disabled toilets have special locks on them, which presumably disabled people have special keys for. I appreciate that they want to stop able-bodied people hogging disabled toilets but what else can I do?

My double buggy was stolen from outside my front door!

I used the disabled toilets when i alone in town with my toddler and my baby, no way would i leave them outside plus everywhere i did use the disabled toilets it was also the baby change.

At home anything is possible - there's generally more space in your toilet at home, you can lay the baby on the floor on a towel, that kind of thing. In a public loo it's usually too disgusting, too cramped etc

I hate public loos anyway and will do almost anything to avoid them. But I think the anger need directing at shops without adequate facilities for ALL.

FA there;'s no way that a mum who happily sues disabled toilets will bother to complain; therefore laying at the door of comnpanies requires us, th SN affected, to actually sort it

again

and you know what I cant, I dnt have time, or energy

I take DS1, 4, into the cubicle with me. If he needs to go without me, I just hold the door ajar and wait outside, if I need to go, he comes in with me.

Absolutely no need to go near a disabled toilet under those circumstances.

JimmyChoos, you need to try a bit harder. It is definitely possible to go to the toilet holding a baby (see my post before yours...)

Mm22bys you must have evry well behaved children if they will stay still!!!

Ds wasn't amenable to that kind of thing at all. He would start trying to crawl under the cubicle, open the sanitary bin, put things in his mouth - he wouldn't just stand there!

embarrassed - It must indeed be very hard to be in your shoes, I don't doubt that for one minute. But considering that we live in different countries, I ever made you wait outside a disabled toilet when DD was a baby

It is not about "waking up a PFB", but the impossibility of safely holding a baby while pulling down & up stockings, panties etc.

If you think that is "selfish, selfish, selfish", so be it.

There are no family cubicles or anything similar in France, by the way, and toilets are miniscule. I find it hard already to maneuver my 25 week pregnant tummy & 3 yr old DD into toilets when I need to go already, but it's manageable. It won't be a real problem until #2 comes along.

"
I wonder how many people who use the disabled toielts would be prepared to help me clean up ds with poo all down his legs because he hasn't been able to get into a toilet."

I'm intrigued whether if you got there and had to wait you would ask the disabled person who was in the cubicle to help you clean him up

I don't tend to go to such places without DH because I don't drive so its not really an issue for me. I have noticed most disabled loos also have baby changing in them these days too

FA, he's four now, we did have our moments, believe you me!

Peachy nobody ought to ahve to complain

The shops should plan for everyone to have adequate loos

If you want me to complain to a certain shop then am more than happy to on your behalf.

I don't know which ones have enough facilities as I rarely use them

I'm sorry it is so rubbish for disabled/SN people. And I take your point that if people have the option of a disabled loo they will use it - but if they had their own they wouldn't. The public can't make more toilets appaear, the shops have to do that

I do see all your points I really do. I just think it's easy for you to say that when not in my situation. It's hard not to be mad when seeing a mum skip merrily (OK, maybe drag herself wearily ) from a disabled toilet that was only for disabled people when I've had an accident.

And yes, more facilities would be fantastic.

But you just know that these would still be used by people who didn't need them. Same with disabled bays and wheelchair spaces on buses. There's always going to be selfish folk out there unfortunately.

I just wanted to post so that really if you COULD manage to wait or go elsewhere you'd think to do that just in case someone like me comes along.

I'm not going to rant about it on here or get into an arguement. I can see why people do it, of course I can, and I'm not going to start shouting at people in RL who I see doing it. I know there's no deliberate act of selfishness. People just want to do what's quickest/easiest then get on shopping or whatever they were doing.

I'm not a mad, angry person, honestly.

I know FA and fwiw I double as NT mum with buggy too LOL and often have to wait to use the loo, but it is doable ime so far.

I agree that baby changing facilities should be available in disabled toilets for people who happen to have children to use but ideally there'd also be a baby-changing room for non-disabled parents to use as well, to save using the disabled loo to change a nappy.

As a corollary, what if there are actually separate disabled and baby-change facilities, and you need to go but your baby is asleep (so you're not going to change him!)

Do you duck into the baby-change ones, or use a normal toilet?

Remember embarrassed- next time it might be me with ds1 or ds3 (nevr both, wouldn't try it without additional carer) and ds4 in a buggy, it's hard to be certain.... which is where we need the trust I think.

I have never used a disabled loo (unless it was a changing station) with a buggy. You just use the end one and keep the door open a bit- I don't see the problem really. I will get a radar key though, and I'm glad I've seen the tip here, as dd2 is autistic and still in nappies, and it will certainly be useful, especially for her dad, as she is too old now to go in the gents.

I think that given the potential clout mumsnet has, it would be no bad idea to lobby the supermarkets etc for family friendly toilets...they would have to be unisex though really.

I'll second what BlameItOnTheBogey said. I've learnt a lot from this thread. I always assumed it was fine to pop into a disabled loo with a buggy. But after reading what Embarassed and Peachy have to say, I will never do it again.

Of course you can pee holding a baby - I've done it many times. Although my preference in a public loo would be to use the end cubicle and leave the door ajar. (I appreciate that it's different for people like the earlier poster who have stomach conditions...)

Yes, it's all a bit of a faff, but so is going anywhere with small DCs and we manage. It's obviously not at all comparable to the experiences of people who actually NEED the disabled loos.

I challenge anyone to read Embarrassed or Peachy's posts and still say "my need is greater than yours".

Oops, hit post too soon. I meant to add in preference to having a changing station in the gents and ladies toilets.

Which is why I've never said anything to anyone in RL comparethePeachydotcom. I know that not all disabilities are on show etc.

I just moan on here instead.

surely the simple test for this is,
are you disabled? if the answer is no, then don't use disabled facilities.

having a baby is not a disability.
and taking a baby out of a pram imo is not enough of an inconvenience to justify using them.

I just wanted to give a plug to the fab facilities at Westfield in Derby. Loads of disabled, baby change loos on each level.

Plus a fab family room with a genuinely nice area for feeding, sep nappy changing stations (all with subtle lighting), a telly, play area, disbaled loos, everything.

And then even the separate stores like Debenhams have great disabled loos, family room (with two loos so you and a toddler can wee at the same time, marvellous.

This is why I virtually live at Westfield in Derby on my days off from work!!

It's the future man...

It is an interesting point though, re the deaf leady who posted earlier and said she would use disabled loos... I would argue that a mum with a pushchair is in more difficulty than her really.

So someone with a child in a buggy is in a worse position than someone with a lifelong disability?

Not in a "worse position" in life, but less able to fit into a tiny cubicle.

Care to explain why a deaf person can't use a normal toilet?

Well, I hope that a deaf person can, if there is no other choice available, obviously. But it seems odd to say that an adult with a buggy is somehow worse off than a deaf person.

maybe it's just me, cote