to expect to use a disabled toilet when I'm out with the pram?

[CT123]

I can't use the ladies when I have my baby with me in the pram. The only thing I can do is wheel him into the disabled toilet with me. But the disabled toilets have special locks on them, which presumably disabled people have special keys for. I appreciate that they want to stop able-bodied people hogging disabled toilets but what else can I do?

ThingOne, thanks for your post. I do appreciate that disabled loos afford more privacy as the sink is in with the toilet etc and just how urgent a need can be (I was diagnosed with coeliac disease a few years ago with my main symptom being chronic diahorrea), however Ria has made a good point about it not always being a non disabled person that inconveniences a waiting disabled user.

I will certainly stop using toilets that have no shared purpose after reading this thread (and I've dipped in and out from the start), but will still continue to use those that have a changing table in them as I have a legitimate reason for using them, but will mention to the store/mall in question that separate facilities should be provided.

ThingOne, thanks for your post. I do appreciate that disabled loos afford more privacy as the sink is in with the toilet etc and just how urgent a need can be (I was diagnosed with coeliac disease a few years ago with my main symptom being chronic diahorrea), however Ria has made a good point about it not always being a non disabled person that inconveniences a waiting disabled user.

I will certainly stop using toilets that have no shared purpose after reading this thread (and I've dipped in and out from the start), but will still continue to use those that have a changing table in them as I have a legitimate reason for using them, but will mention to the store/mall in question that separate facilities should be provided.

oops, not sure how that happened!

as I said before and second joolsiam-

Just remember that you don't have to LOOK disabled to need to use those facilities

The really worrying thing for me as a parent whos daughter has no other choice BUT to use disabled loos is the fact that if some of the mums on here are just using the toilets for quickness/convenience [pardon pun] then what is that teaching the children with them? children seem to follow the example of the parents...so in 25 years time when my daughter will still have to use Disabled loos we'll have a whole new generation using them cos mum told em that thats o.k. when they were young IYSWIM?

SW I am sure I shouted that further down the thread- it just gets lost doesnt it?

joolsiam FWIW I wouldn't deny anyone with IBS a loo- I do think that comes under Riven's heading of 'continence disabled'- DH has severe IBS and hasn't yet had an accident so doen't need a disability loo but even that's hard enough for him in terms of ten-second-dash to the toilet (Riven can I add to your great list? mobity, continence disabled and those needing suprervision for disability reasons- as ds3 (and maybe ds1 who knows) ages even if he improves on his urge incomntinence there may well come a time when I can't leave him alone and taking a male in ladies toilets can you get you a whole new shock and awe thread.....)

thingone thank you for the post, my BIL mayhave an ileostomy soon (his ulcerative colitis was missed on tests and the damage is severe now and will burst eventually) and that glimpse into his world was useful for me.

I have 2 year old DS andI also have an incomplete spinal cord injury which means i have a urinary stoma and no sensation in my bowel. I have a radar key but have had so many dirty looks from people because i don't "look disabled".
I've been questioned very rudely many times, and have yet to be brave enough to whip my top up and show off my stoma, but i've felt like it sometimes.
Another bugbear of mine is the practice of using UV lights in the disabled loos to deter drug takers. Emptying a stoma bag in the dark with a toddler in tow is not easy at all. Surely this makes a mockery of the whole idea of accessible toilets.

JOOLSIAM.... is that the 'Cant Wait' card ?? do you think it helps. I always wondered if the urgency wouldn't be understood so have always made myself aware of where toilets where

salsmum, I understand your feelings there. I for one will not use the shared facilities once my youngest is out of nappies (unless I am with my mother on a bad day, but we have already established that is acceptable usage if there is no alternative, and I will get her to look into this card system for urgent toilet need). The good thing about my DS1 being 11 is that I feel safe to leave him in charge of the buggy, or to let him take my middle DS to the loo for me.
And I think he is well aware that if things are designated for other users it is for a reason. He is actually a very "old values" kind of child - the other day we were in a shop and he was disappointed the doors were automatic because he did not have the opportunity to hold the door open for someone, he was also the one out of the group of boys in the village shop who helped an elderly chap with sight difficulties read a label, and was disgusted, embarrassed and upset by his peers for laughing at the man. Long may his attitude last! (sorry for blowing his trumpet, but for that attitude when faced with his mates I think he deserves it).

Whoever asked me - yes I do have children. Two boys, 2.9 and 5.2.

Ria he sounds lovely- a credit to you.

I sometimes use disabled loos (guiltily) with my 18month old and 3 yr old as I usually have one in a buggy and the other needing a wee. I tend not to take the little one out of the buggy as he's too small not to run away whilst I'm seeing to DS1 and DS1 wanders off whilst I'm changing DS2 and I can't hold both their hands, plus changing bag plus parking buggy somewhere that's not inconvenient to others.

Having learnt from this thread that some people really need to use disabled loos for more reasons than just the space, what would people recommend someone with more than one child does?

I'm not posting to be antagonistic I'm just interested in solutions to what must be a common problem as I can't physically fit me and the 2 boys in a normal cubicle.

what i've always done is get the boys to use the loo with the door opena nd slightly ajar so I can have the buggy popping through iyswim. I don't think that matters a jot with little ones tbh.

I think the problem with this thread is poeple are being villified. Now, i think buying a aradar key is a poor show as we all know it's intended just for disabled people. But if you're out and are in a pickle you shouldn't use the disabled loo but if someone had a few small children maybe one likely to runa nd one needing help then it is bloody difficult. Not impossible but just writing all variants of awkwardness off as insignificant isn't fair imo.

I'll probably get booted off Sn for saying this won't I?

Please try and find an alternative if at all possible; doors ajar wn't kill you and a little forethought can make a big difference with toddlers and toiletting. But if you do need a SN toilet and a Mum with buggy and / or multiples comes out don't hissa nd boo eitehr becuase that mum might have genuine need and none of should assume othrwise.

It's about being considerate and rpepared really.

thanks peachy (shame he can be a little sod too)

and good last post there.

I think you have hit the nail on the head comparethepeachydotcom - I have been dipping in and out of this thread - horrified at some of the comments.

Like life IT IS ALL ABOUT BEING CONSIDERATE.

and get on with it - sometimes we all just have to SUMO - shut up and move on......

Many years ago, I was often forced to take my eldest son who has aspergers into the women's loos with me. I had no choice because he was phobic of toilets and needed alot of help, and calming down. It caused quite alot of comments and bad looks etc. He was as tall as an average 7 year old at 4, so by the time he was 7, he was the height of an 11 year old. I never thought to use the disabled toilet at all. I just put up with all the comments.
I don't know what will happen when my 3.11 year old autistic son is toilet-trained (he is classed as doubly incontinent), but I get plenty of strange looks when I have to use baby nappy-changing facilities.

I did also at 7 deeja; it's 14 / 21 / 30 etc I worry about.......

Doubtful i'd need to with ds1 nut almost certainly more severe ds3.

twinman how old are your twins? I always used to take the DTs out of their buggy and put them on the floor on a mat or they would stand. It might be worth getting a tandem buggy rather than a side by side if it would make shopping easier?

nappy- tandem buggies tend to be more expensive than side by side buggies, otherwise most people would have them, as you said they are easier.

Also i would never put my child on the floor of a public toilet (mat or not!) that is gross to say the least. Did their parents know you were putting their children on a toilet floor?

stumbled across this thread and just wanted to point out that John Lewis (my local one at least) has a parent and child loo. with TWO loos TWO wash basins and enough room for a double buggy. hurrah.

disabled toilets are actually now called accessible toilets and you have every right to use them. ask for a key

really?

LMB - i've always put my own ds on a mat on the floor and so have many other posters on here. if they are on a mat i don't see the problem.

BTW if you shop around you can get cheaper tandem buggies like you can get cheaper side by side buggies . i think my cousin got one for about £120. there are some expensive tandem buggies like jane, zoom, P&T, i candy etc the same as there are expensive side by side buggies like baby jogger, first wheels and mountain buggy. and if you want the quality of say a P&T or whatever you can always get an excellent quality one second hand.

Redybrek, I love those sort of loos, especially when one of the loos is a small one for kiddies. Fab. Bluewater has some like that.

You can get tandem Graco buggies for under £200 in Mothercare, can't you?