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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want a second baby at now

122 replies

broody4baby · 05/02/2009 21:35

My DC is 15 months. I am loving being a mummy.

DH is in the building trade, work looking grim but got money in the business to get by as normal for the next 7 months. After that we would really really struggle, BUT DH thinks the trade will pick up by then.

I really want to try for DC2. Others in my baby group are getting pregnant and I want to be too!

DH thinks its totally maddness and far to risky. AIBU to think things will be ok?

OP posts:
naughtalessnickerless · 05/02/2009 21:38

Of course you are broody, but the baby you have would prefer monetary security during these trying times over a sibling. Have a baby when things are more secure.

hannahlouhoo · 05/02/2009 21:47

I want a baby right now too!! good luck!

Original poster
broody4baby · 05/02/2009 21:49

Funny really, I worried far more before my first child, but now I just think things will be ok........maddness probably?

OP posts:
Original poster
broody4baby · 05/02/2009 22:08

Its got to get better hasn't it hannahlouhoo?

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 05/02/2009 22:16

Try now

You can always find a little more money for a wee baby.... having another baby when the time is 'better' might not always be so easy, they wont be so close in age, it will be longer before you can go back to (paid) work (assuming you don't WOH now, intend to WOH later)... need any more ways to convince your DH???

Original poster
broody4baby · 05/02/2009 22:23

Keep them coming ChippingIn!

I am working PT now so I wouldn't take a year like last time as work life balance is great at the moment.

Short gap has got to be better?! Could take MONTHS to get pregnant (instant last time but you never know)!

OP posts:
Springflower · 05/02/2009 22:34

Hi, you never know whats round the corner so for me I would be trying now. You will never regret it even if money does end up tight. Having said that - I dont think I'll ever stop being broody!

ChippingIn · 05/02/2009 22:48

Broody... you're getting the hang of it

String it altogether in a convincing way when DC is being really super cute

Tell him what wonderful genes (not to be confused with jeans) he has and think you should make the most of it

sorrento · 05/02/2009 22:54

Tell him to take out income protection insurance asap then you know his wages will not fall below a certain level and then get TTC

Original poster
broody4baby · 05/02/2009 22:55

I can see a rather big head emerging! Thanks ChippingIn.

This whole credit cruch can't last for longer than the next 6 months surly? And your quite right Springflower, we would never regret having DC2, just maybe regret having to live off beans on toast for ever as we would be so poor!

OP posts:
Original poster
broody4baby · 05/02/2009 22:57

Thanks sorrento, did look at that but as he has a ltd company they would have to go bust and not except any projects. A few bits and pieces are still coming in so not really an option sadly.

OP posts:
sorrento · 05/02/2009 23:18

I really wouldn't expect this recession to be over in 6 months hun, we're looking an absolute minimum for 2 years IMO, the most optimistic economists are saying 12 months.

ChippingIn · 05/02/2009 23:20

Broody.... I hope you meant the DH's head and not the new babies... OUCH (see I already have one on its way to you!! )

The whole 'How long can it last' thing is a whole other thread (but FWIW, I do think it will last longer than 6 months).

However, I'd rather have beans on toast and a new little DC than beans on ciabata and no little DC (I don't think DC 's (sounds like a plane!!) are that expensive).

daysoftheweek · 05/02/2009 23:31

YANBU to want another baby
YABU to think the cc will be over in 7 months IMHO

(are you old? is time on your side? not expecting an answer BTW!)

veryveryworriedmum · 05/02/2009 23:39

Old? Feel it, no late 20's

daysoftheweek · 05/02/2009 23:41

Ah well time is on your side then
tricky one 2 years is a common age gap but....... might get less commonat this rate

veryveryworriedmum · 05/02/2009 23:41

Things will start to pick up a bit though, perhaps not back to 100%, but pick up a bit?? Babies are that expensive like you say ChippingIn so things won't be that different?

veryveryworriedmum · 05/02/2009 23:43

Yes daysoftheweek, I don't want a massive gap! Its so bloody unfair. I copped a strop this evening, "why can't you be a doctor or something!" bit unfair I know.

veryveryworriedmum · 05/02/2009 23:45

sorry are NOT that expensive

Miyazaki · 06/02/2009 00:06

Recession will not be over in 6 months, don't make plans on that basis. Work out how absolutely little you can survive on, if your dh doesn't make any money and you work and then think about it.

sorrento · 06/02/2009 08:35

People had babies all through the last recession it doesn't cost twice as much to have two children and in all honesty when I think of the money we've wasted on prams, cots etc I could cry.
Have the baby, you'll be better off by the time it's 5 and that's the main thing.

2pt4kids · 06/02/2009 08:42

Depends how much money you'll need when baby is born tbh.
Will you need bigger house? Double pram?
Do you work? If so, you'llneed to be able to pay for 2 lots of childcare fees.
If so, I'd wait a bit longer.

If on the other hand, you've got enough space, got all the baby equipment [packed away ready for no 2 and you are a SAHM and able to remain a SAHm or have family who could offer childcare, then you are sorted and may as well go for it!

violethill · 06/02/2009 08:50

Agree with 2pt4

It's working parents who really have the biggest dilemna here, because paying double the childcare fees is often the deal breaker in deciding when to go for number 2. If you have one parent at home, then your costs are not going to increase hugely. You can usually beg or borrow bigger items of equipment if you need to double up on cots/highchairs etc. Of course, if you are really tight for space and would need to move within a year or so, then that's different again - can you afford it? Is it going to put a huge pressure on the family if you can't?

veryveryworriedmum · 06/02/2009 09:05

Oh GOSH even more to think about now. We only pay for 1 days care and IF husband is working we would be comfortable, its all down to if he will be working - that we don't know

How am I meant to make a decision on something I just don't know if will happen or not.

If he is not working, then we will be in dire straights either way with 1 or 2 babies.

violethill · 06/02/2009 09:54

Well no one can predict the future worriedmum. There will always be unknowns. You just need to weigh it up and make the best decision you can at the time - and then keep your fingers crossed.

We had a larger than I'd have ideally liked gap between dcs 1 and 2, precisely because we could afford childcare for one but not for two, and we needed two incomes. So we just waited. Not the end of the world.

It'll turn out fine...