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AIBU?

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Original poster

Babies in upmarket restaurant

192 replies

Rocky12 · 05/02/2009 14:48

I have upset my SIL who went on holiday recently somewhere really expensive and wanted to take her 10 month old baby into the hotel restaurant that didnt allow kids under the age of 12. She said that she was asleep and wouldnt disturb anyone but I pointed out that she could wake up and start crying and what would happen if they were half way through their dinner. I felt that the hotel policy was right and there does need to be child free places. Not everyone wants to be surrounded by other people's children asleep or not.

Am I being unreasonable? She has gone off in a huff now.....

OP posts:
SJisontheway · 05/02/2009 17:46

I'm not that keen on the child friendly thing. Generally, the fancier the restaurant, the less childeren you find there anyway and people use a bit of cop not to bring their kids to the high end places if they can't behave (I know there are exceptions). However, in hotels you have families on holidays and much more kids eating out than in a typical restaurant. When an alternative venue in the hotel caters for the kids I think it's fine (and sensible) for one restaurant to be child free.

SJisontheway · 05/02/2009 17:48

sorry - meant to say not keen on child free

Peachy · 05/02/2009 19:52

You're probably right SJ- what I loathe is when the kids one is lower end though, all fish fingers or at a push lasagne. I never get to go out without the boys; therefore I might well not be eating Le Manoir but I still want my options to be pretty good; I don't want to be eating scallops at home and microwaved salmon when we do go out.

SJisontheway · 06/02/2009 09:47

Totally agree Peachy - I rarely get out without DDs. Some hotels serve the same menu but from a different location. Good compromise

bigeyes · 06/02/2009 10:04

I take DS (3) out to eat often, but do expect him to sit and behave, however we do tend to go to places that have a play area for afterwards or that we dont stat long at like pizzahut. As for posh places I do think some places should be for adults to allow people a choice. There are plenty of child friendly places about these days.

I will be going out fo the first time in ages with my DH this weekend and I am looking forward to having some grown up time away from house/constant requests etc.

LucyEllensmummy · 06/02/2009 10:06

Before i had DD i wouldnt have cared about someone elses child in a resturant. Now i have a child, i so do care!!! If, IF by some miracle, i find myself in an expensive resturant having a child free treat - i do not want to be exposed to other peoples children, be they asleep in a pushchair (surely thats a health and safety hazzard if in the way in the pushchair) or throwing food all over the table, or running in between the tables. There is a good chance that a high percentage of the other diners would be parents on a much earned night out.

It depends on the resturant of course, if i go somewhere where there is a childrens menu, complete with complimentary play packs for children then i expect it, quite like it and will happily take DD (3) along.

I think your SIL was being selfish. Wish more resturants would do this that i could actually afford to go to!

violethill · 06/02/2009 10:07

Haven't read whole thread but i agree that some places just aren't suitable for babies/young children. It's perfectly reasonable that adults sometimes want to go out and be undisturbed.

Why is it some people think they have a right to inflict their babies on everyone else?

sorrento · 06/02/2009 10:16

Babies aren't an infliction, they have as much right as anyone else to be where ever their parents are, so there.

fruitstick · 06/02/2009 10:26

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. Our local pub has a policy of welcoming children until 7pm, when we are politely asked to take them home! This is fair enough as not everyone wants to spend the evening with your children and people's idea of 'behaving themselves' isn't necessarily the same for everyone.

Kind of like the smoking ban What are the dangers of passive parenting do you think.

On the other hand, we found ourself having lunch at the Popham Services last week (of Heston Blumenthal fame) - we didn't make a special journey, honest. .

However we were sat in a booth with some miserable old woman who had made a 50 mile round trip. Our toddler was being perfectly well behaved (well, for a toddler) but was a little fidgety and very chatty. She huffed and puffed and eventually asked the waiter to move her!

FFS you're in a Little Chef love!

Coldtits · 06/02/2009 10:53

No they don't, sorrento. You can't take babies to nightclubs, into bookies, certain areas of hospitals .... the list goes on. In this country there are certain places where the owner/manager/our culture dictates that children are not welcome. So there.

StewieGriffinsMom · 06/02/2009 10:55

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sorrento · 06/02/2009 10:56

How many strip clubs have you been to recently ?
Oh and I can take mine to work with me, DH could too at a push.

Coldtits · 06/02/2009 11:00

Barmaids can't
Nurses can't (paediatric maybe could)
Elderly care assistant can't
Strippers can't (and YOU may live in a bubble, but I know a couple of strippers with kids)
People who work in kitchens can't
People who work in shops can't
People who work .... basically anywhere but a nursery or an overstaffed office... can't take their baby to work.

StewieGriffinsMom · 06/02/2009 11:01

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StewieGriffinsMom · 06/02/2009 11:02

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cory · 06/02/2009 11:03

I think this children-not-wanted in restaurants is more of a recent thing too. My MIL used to take her sons out to eat in London all the time when they were little and they used to get thoroughly spoilt by waiters. But that was 50 years ago.

Children are less popular than they were in this country. It's just one of those British things that I've decided I'll have to live with.

BoffinMum · 06/02/2009 11:05

So British this thread. You wouldn't get this silly debate in the rest of Europe.

Hey, if we're going for the ageism and stereotype thing big time let's ban old people too! They are messy eaters and grumble at everyone. And how about all young male groups? They get loud and badly behaved dominate the proceedings. In fact, let's ban everyone who is NOT LIKE US!

I hate sterile adult only restaurants and bars, and I hate noisy family ghettos, so neither type gets my money, regardless of whether I have kids with me at the time or not.

Coldtits · 06/02/2009 11:11

YOung male groups are banned from a lot of places, due to their tendancy to be noisy and destructive - I'm tyhinking of theme parks and caravan parks such as Butlins.

Elderly people generally don't cause a problem anywhere they go, but they are banned from Club 18 - 30 holidays, they wouldn't be allowed into most top end nightclubs (for God's sake, some of them won't let you in if you're fat either!), and most would have trouble walking into a primary school to receive a primary school education.

violethill · 06/02/2009 11:12

No, I don't believe everyone has a right to go anywhere. Babies and young children can be noisy. Other people have a right to have some places that are free from children. I love my children dearly, but I don't expect other people to always want them around in every situation. This mentality that 'all babies/children have as much right to be there as anyone else' is bollocks. It's an excuse for people who have no perspective and think that their children are the centre of the universe.

I would have some sympathy if it was difficult to find child friendly places... but these days it isn't. There is a huge range of choice. To choose to go somewhere inappropriate with a baby is to deliberately go out of your way to make a point.

mayorquimby · 06/02/2009 11:17

"Babies aren't an infliction, they have as much right as anyone else to be where ever their parents are, so there"

yes but in child-free restaurants neither the child or the parent flaunting the policy have a right to be there.
fgs you don't have a "right" to be in any private establishment, it's at the discretion of the proprietor.

so there

LucyEllensmummy · 06/02/2009 12:31

Whilst i agree with child free resturants, what i dislike is that in "child-friendly" establishment, the choice of childrens dishes is pure shit - certainly not a treat for my child who is used to a varied diet and doesn;t actually LIKE chicken nuggets, fish fingers or sausages. Sometimes if you are lucky you have a pasta dish, but very often this is dullsville. OK so i know my child wont eat a vindaloo but please give us parents SOME credit for introducing our children to decent, healthy and tasty food. I don't feed my DD on that sort of shite at home so why would i pay for her to eat it in a resturant

violethill · 06/02/2009 12:40

They don't have to eat off the children's menu. Choose a starter or ask for a smaller portion of mains.

TheBurnsifiedEffect · 06/02/2009 12:55

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Wintersun · 06/02/2009 12:59

It's entirely up to the restaurant of course but seriously, why would people be bothered by well behaved children eating in a restaurant?
I find it baffling.

I would hate to sit next to anyone who was loud or badly behaved incl children but I think I wouldn't even notice if there were children in a restaurant unless they were making a scene.

We take our boys to eat out with us but we tend to go out for early dinners around 6-6.30

brightongirldownunder · 06/02/2009 13:00

As far as I'm concerned i wouldn't take DD to posh restaurant because she would end up eating all of my food and covering my clothes in debris. We do take her out to pretty much every place we go to over here because we have so few babysitters. If she plays up, one of us takes her for a walk outside. I hate child menus as they are mostly full of nugget crap, so she has a bit of ours instead.

I wish it wasn't such a big deal for some people - think its a really bad in the UK. Loads of babies and kids seem to join their parents for evening meals out here in Sydney. Think there should be an unwritten rule that after 8pm (when most kids should probably be asleep) its an adult affair. Hate the term "child free".

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