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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babies in upmarket restaurant

192 replies

Rocky12 · 05/02/2009 14:48

I have upset my SIL who went on holiday recently somewhere really expensive and wanted to take her 10 month old baby into the hotel restaurant that didnt allow kids under the age of 12. She said that she was asleep and wouldnt disturb anyone but I pointed out that she could wake up and start crying and what would happen if they were half way through their dinner. I felt that the hotel policy was right and there does need to be child free places. Not everyone wants to be surrounded by other people's children asleep or not.

Am I being unreasonable? She has gone off in a huff now.....

OP posts:
KingRolo · 05/02/2009 15:12

Isn't it a wee bit arrogant to expect the hotel to change their policy just because they are regular visitors? I wouldn't dream of asking!

doggiesayswoof · 05/02/2009 15:12

loads of x-posts

No way should she expect them to make an exception. Many people would choose this restaurant on the basis that it would be child-free (like me if I was out with dh once in a blue moon, for instance) and would rightly be hacked off if a baby was there causing ructions.

Sleeping babies wake up - it's what they do

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 05/02/2009 15:12

It's not much fun to take your small DC into a place where there are no other children, anyway. You spend the whole time either hissing at them to sit still, shut up and eat nicely, or (if they are small enough to be asleep) panicking that they will wake up and squall.
Trouble is, there are a lot of rhino-skinned My PRecious Children types who let their horrible little sods shriek, howl, run about and throw food and then get that cat's bum face on and start complaining about what uptight child-haters other people are.

Original poster
Rocky12 · 05/02/2009 15:13

The hotel had a couple of restaurants, the other one was child friendly but full of kids running around and she didnt want her daughter woken up! During the day the hotel is lovely for kids. You can employ a nanny for the hour, the day etc. Needless to say it isnt cheap!

OP posts:
doggiesayswoof · 05/02/2009 15:14

Your SIL sounds like a brammer

FrostyTheBodyBag · 05/02/2009 15:15

YABU IMO
I would have gone in there with a sleeping baby.

Coldtits · 05/02/2009 15:16

You can't exclude everyone from New Zealand because people don't scream at the top of their voices, throw food, make loud persoonal comments and roll on the floor simply because they are from New Zealand. Toddlers DO do these things, because they are toddlers.

And I know many people will think "MY toddler doesn't/won't do that". They may even occasionally be right, in the case of the very docile offspring amongst us. But most do, and people who choose child free restaurants do so because they don't want to put up with it.

PuppyMonkey · 05/02/2009 15:17

Personally I can't think of anything worse than taking my very loud toddler to a stuffy formal eatery where she would no doubt scream the place down and ensure I had a thoroughly awful time (not to mention everyone else). Sometimes you've just got to use your common sense. Or get a babysitter.

BrownSuga · 05/02/2009 15:20

Well I've never been one to get hot under the collar about other children being unruly/loud in a restaurant, but I do, and have, taken DS out. We are very conscious of not disturbing others enjoyment. DS is generally well behaved and we want him to learn how to interact and behave in public, and enjoy good food himself too. He always goes for the salmon.

TBH, I'd be more annoyed at bad food or shite service in a pricey restaurant.

But as I asked earlier, does anyone know why it is not illegal to say no to children in restaurants?

BrownSuga · 05/02/2009 15:21

Well you're right coldtits, I don't throw food, unless it's not well cooked

doggiesayswoof · 05/02/2009 15:22

I don't know if it would stand up legally tbh. Maybe there has never been a legal challenge?

Soph73 · 05/02/2009 15:23

YANBU. If that's the hotel policy & you're aware of that fact why bother to go in the first place? I live in Gran Canaria so am used to children in restaurants, etc. However, I do believe that people are entitled to enjoy a nice meal in a nice atmosphere without being disturbed by noisy children.

On the other hand I do believe that children will only learn to behave or how to conduct themselves in restaurants if you actually take them to these sort of places. DS1, who is 6, knows how to behave in restaurants for the simple fact that he's always been allowed in them. We have never yet had to ask him to "behave properly". DS2 is only 9 months so we'll have to wait and see how he conducts himself!

FrostyTheBodyBag · 05/02/2009 15:24

Brownsuga is spot on.
I think it should be illegal to ban children from things such as this.

doggiesayswoof · 05/02/2009 15:25

'DS is generally well behaved and we want him to learn how to interact and behave in public, and enjoy good food himself too.'

with you there brownsuga, but there are loads of child friendly places you can take dc and not be frowned upon.

belgo · 05/02/2009 15:26

YABU - agree with nancy - it seems only in Britain that you have child free places. In other countries children are just accepted as part of life.

Dillydaydreamer · 05/02/2009 15:27

YANBU, if she knows that is their policy then she will not have a great time when they ask her to leave Why not choose a child friendly hotel? or self catering where they can eat where they want?

doggiesayswoof · 05/02/2009 15:27

No frosty - because plenty places DO welcome children

Don't see why it's a problem.

Coldtits · 05/02/2009 15:27

I don''t think it should be illegal, I think it is a fantastic idea. Everyone who is a "Child hater" will be corralled in the child free restaurant so they and the children don't have to tolerate each other.

A restaurant which allows children when I want to be child free doesn't get my custom.

Original poster
Rocky12 · 05/02/2009 15:29

FrostyTheBodyBag

Dare I say that formal restaurants are not the place for babies and young children just like an indoor play centre full of climbing frames, plastic balls etc would not be something I would enjoy although my children love them

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 05/02/2009 15:30

I would imagine legally it;s fine.
Restaurant owners can choose who they do and do not serve - they are only in trouble if they discriminate, which this wouldn't be.
Other example - "Women drink free" nights at nasty pubs.

doggiesayswoof · 05/02/2009 15:30

yy coldtits

When I am out with dc I don't want to be surrounded by child haters, so give them somewhere to go and be happy

conversely when I am out without dc, I don't want to even look at other people's

FrostyTheBodyBag · 05/02/2009 15:31

What Belgo said.

I think some people in Britain, still have this children should be seen and not heard mentality ingrained in somewhere.

I feel very sad for them.

doggiesayswoof · 05/02/2009 15:31

Genuine q though Stealth - wouldn't it be discriminating against children?

mayorquimby · 05/02/2009 15:31

i really don't understand the problem with having child free venues or establishments.

Soph73 · 05/02/2009 15:33

"conversely when I am out without dc, I don't want to even look at other people's"

Am with you there doggiesayswoof

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