to wonder how women can have kids under five and still manage to look good?

[fufflebum]

I feel frumpy today. Anyone else?

Have a four year old and a nearly one year old.

AIBU to wonder how other women seem to manage to put on makeup and buy good fitting clothes???

I manage a shower and hairwash every morning but makeup and new clothes an impossibility.....!!!

Any tips?

It does get easier as your children get older. I now have 15, 6 and 4 year old boys. I must admit that when the little ones were very small it was much harder (and I was so knackered I didn't really care )

JoeCool - I like your idea, but I'm not sure how I'd have found the time to go to a workshop when I was struggling to find the time to shop or get a haircut! It would need to either: 1. be something you can bring your baby to or 2. be something you could come home from with an actual outfit so you really feel you have got value from your time.

i know a woman with 2 DC under 5 and she is the most stylish, elegant and beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on

I agree with Kathy, now most high street retailers have websites shopping online is much better, as you most likely already know what the fit and style of the clothes will be like and what size/length you need in that shop. You don't need to go to the upfront expense of ordering two or three of something and then fanny about returning the extras and getting a refund.

Thanks so much for the feedback Kathyis6incheshigh - I had thought about going to mother and baby groups or running evening workshops.
There's the convenience of a mother and baby group but maybe it's nicer to get a sitter and truly devote a couple of hours to ourselves? Maybe that's part of the problem - not putting ourselves first. Ever.
If I did the evening ones it would be at my dress agency, so I'd do the tips/help etc and then people would be free to chat, drink wine and/or shop. The good thing is the clothes are nearly new so the participants could treat themselves to a label that might be out of their price range normally. That in itself can be a bit of a morale boost.
What do you think sounds better? With baby or evening do without?

Well the evening thing certainly does sound appealing - it would be more likely to exclude mothers of very young babies but then perhaps they're not the ones who are going to spend much on clothes anyway as they'll be wanting to get back to more of a pre-baby size first.
The two different types of events for the different target audiences maybe?

Hi, new on mumsnet and enjoying this thread as it struck a chord with me! I'm Mrs Frumpy of Frumpsville today (my excuse - got 18mth old with chest infection and similar thing myself!) but having read these posts I am about to go and put on some mascara!! haha!
Squirdle's right, if you can keep to your routine and factor in a bit of time for your own grooming, you're onto a winner. My tip for looking presentable with small children? Move to an area where everyone is immaculately groomed in the playground! I did - moved areas 10 mths ago and although previously I would have thrown on trainers, cagoul and brushed my hair then out the door,I've had to "up my game" and am delighted I did! I now never leave the house without putting on mascara and a touch of lippy just to add a bit of colour. My dh looks at me like I'm mad "it's only the school run!" he says BUT it DOES make you feel better about yourself and when you're a mad woman dashing around after 2 little boys and trying to keep some sort of order in the house at the same time, a good hair cut and a few moments applying even just a smidge of make-up is WELL worth the effort! My house might sometimes be chaos but my eyelashes are purrr-fect! heehee!

JoeCool, for mothers of babies, they might be between sizes and find it difficult to get out of the house. What would be nice is if you could put the dresses on a website with sizing for the mother to browse in her leisure. She selects the ones she likes in her size or so or you could recommend as well. And then you bring the dresses to her house to try on.

Not sure how economically viable it is though. But would be nice, even for me now with two children 5 and 2.

I don't think it's that hard to look well groomed (well maybe just groomed lol)

I have a 7 year old, 3 year old and a 5 month old and would be mortified to leave the house with out a bit of makeup on (but that may well be because I look so vile without it) plus the fact that hormones are all over and I seem to have more spots now than I ever had in my teens, due to the kids catching everything going and giving it to m, at the moment without my face on I look like I have been sniffing glue......not good trust me lol

With clothing I am terrible, no cash to buy aything new and seriouly need to lose some weight

How about not showering in the morning and doing it the night before (my hair is really thick and takes too long to dry to do it in the morning), I get up at 7 or 7.30 and get all the kids up, dressed, fed get my face on, wash up and get out ofthe house for nursery at 8.45 it's madness I tell you!!!!

Wow, mustsleep, you do well with 3 children those ages!!
Totally agree with you on the shower the night before esp with drying hair - I can't guarantee I'll have chance in the mornings so it's safer to shower at night and then at least I'm clean and ready to leave the house looking half decent even if the morning passes in a frenzy of weetabix, toothpaste and missing socks (as it invariably does!)

So much of this rings true with me. DD is nearly 3, and I work 4 days a week. I have recently started to wear make-up again, as I find it makes me clean my face properly at night, and my skin has improved as a result (sounds a bit "upside-down" thinking I know, but it works for me! )

I have a shower almost every day (occasional scummy days at weekends!), and wash my hair at least every other day, as it is revoltingly greasy if I don't. I recently put on a lot of weight and don't fit it loads of my clothes, and to be honest, enything that needs ironing tends to stay in the wardrobe for ages - I wash, tumbledry and go!

Completely agree if I look better, I feel better, but often have other priorities - the extra 15 mins in bed for one!

One thing I have never mastered is the casual scarf look - I usually end up looking as if DD put the scarf on me . But I love her fashion sense and ability to put clothes together - pink spotty summer dress over Upsy-daisy jeans, with a green flowery cardigan and stripy wooly hat - would love to have her flair!

When I was 8 months pregnant last summer I dropped off a picture of myself and DH on our wedding day at a local framing shop. I thought I looked ok during pregnancy, I wasn't rough and felt really healthy. Imagine to my horror when a nasty old beeyotch in the shop looked at our photo and said "oh thats a lovely picture" I replied "its me and DH on wedding day" to which she came back with "is that you? It is amazing what they can do with make up these days isn't it?". Oh holy jesus if she could see me now I must look like fucking grot bags to her.

I have three children, 4, 3 and 2. I always manage to have shower, dry hair and make up whilst DH feeds them breakfast. By time they are back upstairs, I'm ready to get them dressed.

Its not all perfect though, I seem to have lapsed into wearing unironed clothes!

wigglesworth how rude!

i do hope you took your custom elsewhere......cheeky mare!

Fumble - Your 2 ahead of me already, i just about manage a hair and tooth brush in the mornings

joecool your idea is very good. i would join that type of workshop. i hate shopping and having advice and help would be beneficial. perhaps you could do private, in-home workshops for those who would find it difficult to get out of the house, ie; one's with newborns. i think you are right; as mothers we forget that we should come first. happy mom, happy household.

i'm not going to apologize for seemingly being smug, as i've been type casted by a couple of posters here. the OP ask how some women can still manage to look good with DC under 5 and i answered in my first post that i managed it because DH is home in the morning and can sit with DD. i became pissy when i was looked down on for being able to do it. i still stand by my belief that for the most part, laziness, lack of time management and disorganization is the real reason most mothers develop self-proclaimed martyrdom and start whining about not finding 20 minutes for grooming and condemning those of us who do.

wigglesworth the frameshop person was very insensitive. she makes it sound like your wedding was some FX affair.

anyhow... DD is waking so i'm going to grab my manicure set and sit down and feed her while i groom my nails.

'i still stand by my belief that for the most part, laziness, lack of time management and disorganization' But chefswife, it's very easy to make that statement when you have a DH looking after the kids in the morning. Not everyone has that luxury and you shouldn't slate them for that. It's not your organisation that and time management skills that make you groomed, it's having your DH around. And for the record as I tried to maniucure my nails yesterday I had DD climbing all over me, trying to get the file, scissors everything else. Did I see you have a 2 mo? Do you have toddlers? It's whole different ball game when they can follow you into the bathroom and attack any piece of make up you dare leave in their vicinity.

he isn't around everyday like that, just right now because it is off season here january and february. he works 15 hour days, 6 days a week for most of the year. i still manage to keep myself and house in good order. and 'i shouldn't slate them for it.' i was getting slated and deemed smug and shallow for having the luxury. i know i am very lucky to have an extremely supportive husband with a schedule that is conducive for me to have those precious moments. and i know that i toddlers are very different. a friend of mine feels the same way i do and has 3 DC under 6 and a long haul trucker husband who is gone for extended lengths and she manages just fine. i wouldn't attempt doing my nails when the toddlers were up... that's bad time management.

"just right now because it is off season here january and february. he works 15 hour days, 6 days a week for most of the year. i still manage to keep myself and house in good order."

• but I thought you said you had one baby who is 2 months old?

If I have understood that right, how can you say that you have managed to keep yourself and house in good order in all the other months of the year apart from Jan and Feb? Your baby would only have been born for two weeks outside Jan and Feb.

I am glad you are finding motherhood easy and I hope you continue to do so.

However, this thread is about someone asking how people with children (plural) under five manage. Of course tips are welcome but if you make statements that people struggle because of "laziness, lack of time management and disorganization" when you are not in, and have never yet been in, the situation in question, you are bound to get flamed.

I was going to post a couple of tips myself then remembered that my eldest 2 are over 5, so I now only have one under 5 . . . I thought I'd better keep my ideas to myself as I may well have forgotten what it's like.

I meant tips are welcome from everyone regardless of how many children they have.

Joecool - that sounds like a great idea - I hope you live near me!

What I would really like is something akin to Trinny & Susannah without the national humiliation and posh girl faux lesbianism.

Would you think of doing private consultations as well as workshops? - I know what I need is someone to go through my wardrobe critically, help me throw out the things that look awful, and advise me on what looks good (and where to buy them as well). Some posters on this thread have said they have constructed several outfits, including accessories, which they wear as 'Mummy uniforms' - I would love someone to help me to do this (especially how to accessorise - all the people who I really admire in RL always have fab accessories).

I know that if I need this sort of help, there must be thousands of other Mummies who need it too - and would be willing to pay for it. In terms of price, I would feel comfortable paying up to £200 for a full day to have this sort of 'one off' service. I don't know if that would be worth your while.

I think the workshops would be great as well, and a night out with wine sounds so much better than any event with children. Would you be thinking along the lines of inviting a group of mummies who know each other, or a group of strangers? This may affect the dynamic of a group.

I think Chefswife must be joking, I really do. My midwife told me off for being DRESSED hours after having my second ds as she said I ought to have been resting and I certainly didn't clean my house or spend time doing a manicure - I was bonding with my new child!
Good luck to you if you expect to spend an hour and a half on yourself in the mornings once your ds is at school. Once you have to get children up and out of the house by a certain time, it's another story!
I have 2 children under 5. My priority is getting eldest ds to school on time,with a good breakfast inside him (and I am someone who makes lunch in the mornings)as well as feeding my toddler and getting him cosied up in the pushchair for the walk to school. As I said in my earlier post on this thread, I do make an effort to look presentable for the school run because I feel better for doing it but I don't need to focus an hour and a half on myself to do that, and frankly I think you might re-think your attitudes once you're trying to juggle shower with toddler with school kid and find your priorities have change somewhat!!
I don't think Chefswife is serious anyway and is just posting to get a rise out of people.

You ladies are great. I read this thread yesterday and today I wore makeup and painted my nails for the first time in weeks. It can be done, but it certainly isn't easy! 3 month old howled whilst I jabbed at myself with eyeliner and 18 month old stole my nail clippers and nipped at her trousers. I'm sure it'll get easier as I develop some routine and the toddler doesn't think it's so novel .

Worth it because DH said I looked 'very pretty'. I'm so easily flattered....

Hey, toddlerama, your ds might be onto something there if you can tempt her away from nipping her trousers to giving you a manicure!
Finger painting can be replaced with Mummy's-nails-painting and face painting with foundation applying....