to wonder how women can have kids under five and still manage to look good?

[fufflebum]

I feel frumpy today. Anyone else?

Have a four year old and a nearly one year old.

AIBU to wonder how other women seem to manage to put on makeup and buy good fitting clothes???

I manage a shower and hairwash every morning but makeup and new clothes an impossibility.....!!!

Any tips?

[bigeyes]

I do what I can thru week but every now and then when I feel like this I make a special effort to turn bathroom into spa and put make up on even if in house just for me sadly DH is often too tired to notice!

[Lovesdogsandcats]

LeQueen, it is so simple but never thought of it before!
Thanks

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

Lol- I am definitely in the slob camp. I don't actually own any "nice" clothes any more, I don't think- and it ain't practical to wear a black cocktail dress round the woods with the hounds! My hair can be straightened, but to wash/ dry/ straighten it takes 1 1/2 hrs (it is very long, thick and curly) Then it usually rains anyway while I'm out walking the dogs, so I end up with a big frizzy mass on my head.

I've kind of given up trying to look nice- I never really wear make-up or wear anything other than jeans and t-shirts/ jumpers and a fleece, but the upside is that when I do get a chance to go somewhere that makes it worth getting dressed up/ made-up for, everyone is amazed by how good I can look! I think better that than one day not having time to do my hair/ make-up and have everyone think what a dog I am without the props they have come to expect!!

[chefswife]

THEYEAROFTHECAT NOT ENTIRELY SURE WHY MY NOT USING CAPITALS GIVES YOU A HEADACHE, BUT I'LL TYPE IN CAPITALS IF IT IS EASIER FOR YOU. I WASN'T COMPETING. I HAVE NO NEED TO AND NEVER HAVE BEEN. I BECAME DEFENSIVE WHEN I WAS DEEMED SMUG FROM MY ORIGINAL POST BECAUSE I STATED THE REASON I WAS ABLE TO LOOK GOOD EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A CHILD WAS BECAUSE I HAD A DH THAT WAS HOME IN THE MORNING AND HE GIVES ME THAT TIME TO SPEND ON MYSELF BECAUSE WE BOTH SEE THE BENEFITS. THERE IS ONE BIG THING THAT I CANNOT DO AT THIS TIME AND THAT IS WORKING IN MY STUDIO BECAUSE I USE FIBRE GLASS RESIN AND AUTOBODY MATERIAL IN CONSTRUCTING MY ARTWORK. IT SUCKS IN ONE RESPECT BECAUSE I AM FEELING VERY CREATIVE AT THE MOMENT BUT I'M NOT GOING TO WHINE ABOUT NOT FINDING THE TIME BECAUSE I LOVE BEING A MOM AND THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT AND THE ARTWORK CAN WAIT. TO GIVE YOU THE HEADS UP, DON'T READ THE REST OF THE POST AS I AM GOING TO STOP USING CAPITALS AND I DON'T WANT TO GIVE YOU HEADACHE AGAIN.

i will keep these posts and see how i am like when i have more children and am pretty sure my attitude will still be the same. i do however have friends that have multiple children and still find the time in their day for themselves to wash and put on non-slummy clothes, which could just mean jeans and shirt. but they don't lay around in track suits and running shoes complaining that they don't have the time or think themselves self-obsessed for it.

[steviesgirl]

I know the feeling about feeling frumpy. I have a 2year old dd and I'm also busy helping hubby on farm most days. I just chuck my old work clothes on, tie my hair back and stick my glasses on. I just take the piss out of myself in the mirror usually!

Don't know how they do it tbh. I often don't have the time to look really good. Will make the effort Valentines day though.

[Othersideofthechannel]

chefswife

I don't think anyone wanted you to use just capitals.

I think whoever posted about that just wanted to see one at the beginning of each sentence.

The thread is not about not finding the time to wash and get dressed, it's about going that bit further.

If you haven't been shopping for new clothes in 3 or 4 years and have spent those 3 years looking after children, your jeans and shirts are going to look slummy. Plus if your body has changed shape, they may not fit properly.

[fufflebum]

Wow what a response from my posting!!!!

I posted this because I was having an 'i am feeling frumpy day'! I guess I wondered how women manage to look so good when they have little children.

I absolutely take on board that some people would rather stop for a cup of tea where others would rather put make up on and always have done. The intention was never to be critical of others, just wanted to know the secret!

[Bumperslucious]

Some of us can't afford to go out and buy non slummy clothes or clothes that fit unfortunately, so you will have to just take us as you find us I'm afraid.

[chefswife]

i can appreciate that

[chefswife]

and i was being facetious in my use of capitals.

[pamelat]

DD is 12 months.

I need 20 minutes to shower (I wash my hair the night before, bath every night) and to eat breakfast and stick mascara on and brush my hair.

I look ok ish, sometimes?!

[Bumperslucious]

See pamelat, I see 'bath every night, shower every morning' and think 'that's an extra 15 minutes I could have in bed' , and that's why no-one is writing writing the OP about me

[TheYearOfTheCat]

By LeQueen on Tue 10-Feb-09 17:23:11 'Some women want to feel fresh and look groomed, so willingly sacrifice an extra half hour in bed in the morning. And, some women aren't bothered about their personal appearance, and prefer to sit and enjoy 2 extra cups of tea.'

LeQueen I don't think it is a simple matter of the extremes of your post above. I thought that many of the posters were giving their tips on how they manage to look groomed without having to necessarily get up earlier in the morning - I count myself as someone who, for the most part, is pretty well groomed - I need to be for the days I work, and it makes me feel better on the days that I don't work. However, I don't get out of bed earlier to do it, I just try to make better use of the time I have. I think there have been some fantastic tips on this thread, and I know that I will be using some of them from now on. (And I'm still hoping Joecool lives near me .)

However, life has got much easier for me as my DC have got a bit older (approaching 2 & 4), and I have started to recover from those zombie filled early months! But I still remember what it was like, and I wouldn't judge anyone who finds it difficult to make time for themselves.

My comment about competitive mothers was not in relation to those who are well groomed (as I said, I try to turn out pretty well myself ) - it was in relation to the competitive tone of some of the posts, for example:

'i had a home birth with no painkillers or anything, gave birth at 2.30 am and when the midwife came back to see us the next afternoon, my house was clean, i was showered and groomed and wearing clothes and mumsnetting while breast feeding DD.'

'the rest of you out there can stop with excuses... pull your heads out of your asses and get organized. and who in their right mind makes lunches in the morning.'

'ps. i have a very demanding 2 month old and manage to keep myself and house clean on top of having sex a few times a week too.'

'i still stand by my belief that for the most part, laziness, lack of time management and disorganization is the real reason most mothers develop self-proclaimed martyrdom and start whining about not finding 20 minutes for grooming and condemning those of us who do.'

'i wouldn't attempt doing my nails when the toddlers were up... that's bad time management.'

'i was only making a point that even after birth, i still took a shower and did my dishes when DD was asleep because i was fully capable of doing so (i know not everyone can) and i wasn't about to sit around moaning about having just given birth and not being able to do it. likewise with my everyday. i'm not going to sit around and moan that because i have kids, i no longer have time for myself because that is a crock of shit.'

'i wasn't one to whine about. just got on with it.'



Chefswife: If you are going to try to be facetious, it would probably be better if you could differentiate between the use of capitals and uppercase. Capital letters are defined as being the large leading letters used to begin sentences and names etc. Uppercase refers to the exclusive use of capital letters in type, and derives from the cases (which were kept on the upper level) which print setters used to keep their capital letters in.

[Leo9]

TheYearOfTheCat those quotes you have pulled out have absolutely made my day! am PMSL and ROFL. Is there a list of classic quotes? they should ALL be on it!

[TheYearOfTheCat]

Best thing is - they are all by one poster, who for confidentiality reasons, I shall decline to name.

[Leo9]

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hazeyjane]

They are fantastic quotes, this is my favourite

'ps. i have a very demanding 2 month old and manage to keep myself and house clean on top of having sex a few times a week too.'

I might have to print it off and stick it to my fridge (although might not want dh to see it!)

[Monkeygi]

I bath every evening cos our shower's rubbish. I'm slutty and wash my hair in the bath and then, if I'm going to the gym or doing karate the following day, try to remember to shave pits and legs as it's difficult to do some exercises with your arms clamped to your sides. These days I also try to remember to put make-up on before I go out (ds2 enjoys himself by emptying my belt drawer) but I don't always get there. My worst habit is always putting my hair in a ponytail. I'm 40 fgs! Bad form. But then, it fusses me to have things floating around, especially hair. And scarves! I've tried those and all that happens is they come undone/get dipped in food/get yanked by ds2, throttling me in the process. I also recently had to give up wearing necklaces cos he actually broke my bestest beads . BUT I have bought2 skirts and a pair of good boots so am hoping am making headway......

[pamelat]

ah yes the daily ponytail habit, thats me I am 31.

[Monkeygi]

Pamelat you are a mere stripling compared to me!

[TheYearOfTheCat]

I've been thinking about this thread, and I think a good bit of advice is to avoid shopping for clothes at supermarkets, if your budget / time allows.

When I think of my wardrobe, the best things are those bits which I have paid more for. My favorite labels are Jaegar, Evelin Brandt, Gerry Weber, and Olsen. I also like Monsoon & Principles.

Although they are fairly pricey labels, the quality is fantastic, and I always try to buy these labels in the sales. I know it is a bit of a cliche, but you really do get what you pay for - I bought a Jaegar suit for work 5 years ago, and despite being worns lots, it still looks like new. The same with Evelin Brandt - I have quite a few pieces, which I have worn so often and still look fantastic. They also look much classier and more unusual than the normal supermarket stuff.

When I look in the drawer which is the home for all the sad clothes which never washed well / will never be worn again (before I take pity on them & bring them to the charity shop), it is all the supermarket clothes. I am convinced that I have probably spent more on these 'disposable' clothes than I have on good labels over the years.

I know it this is not in the price range of everyone, but I think it can be good advice.

[chefswife]

oh my god yearofthecat. i can't believe that you cut and pasted comments from my posts. truly, wow!

[redybrek]

God, I've just read this entire thread and I don't know where I stand on it being pg due in April and a 12mo, but bizarrely,I have just gone and applied fake tan and plucked my eyebrows!