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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder how women can have kids under five and still manage to look good?

285 replies

fufflebum · 03/02/2009 15:53

I feel frumpy today. Anyone else?

Have a four year old and a nearly one year old.

AIBU to wonder how other women seem to manage to put on makeup and buy good fitting clothes???

I manage a shower and hairwash every morning but makeup and new clothes an impossibility.....!!!

Any tips?

OP posts:
laumiere · 04/02/2009 16:25

I'm heavily pg with DS2, DS1 has cerebral palsy and I make it a point of honour to get in the shower (or the bath the night before), and get my makeup on. Partly because it's 10 min to myself, partly because I have been clinically depressed in the past, and stopping caring about myself has been one of the danger signs.

Oh and how do I manage it? Easy, we have a V Plus box and about 10 hours of In The Night Garden recorded, I stick one on, do my makeup, eat my breakfast and still have time to read the Metro or the Guardian website....

Othersideofthechannel · 04/02/2009 17:17

Georgimama, it's true that some people could probably use time on MN to do other things.
The time in my life when I found it difficult to do other things was before I discovered MN.

Then again, you can stop mning at anytime. If you are shaving your legs and your two children start fighting, it's easier to walk away from the computer than to do it with half shaved legs or whatever.

blackrock · 04/02/2009 18:41

Quite often feel frumpy, but do try too. I think the main problem is my shape has changed since DS aged 2, and I have not really replaced my old clothes in the vain hope that I will return to my pre baby size and shape. However, I have little chance to exercise apart from walking with a toddler. I have a bike and child seat, so as soon as no ice, we will be out and I will continue to work at it.

muppetgirl · 04/02/2009 18:51

use your stairs to exercise!!! (if you have them )

SnowlightMcKenzie · 04/02/2009 19:35

A well muppetgirl. stack a couple of phone books, step on and off of them to the music of 5 of your favourite songs, and there you've done 15 mins of excercise!

tbh I have sympathy with the exercise at home thing. Why people drive to the gym, pace on a treadmill for 20 mins and then drive home when they could just walk to the gym and back and save themselves hundreds of pounds I'll never understand.

SnowlightMcKenzie · 04/02/2009 19:36

A well muppetgirl. stack a couple of phone books, step on and off of them to the music of 5 of your favourite songs, and there you've done 15 mins of excercise!

tbh I have sympathy with the exercise at home thing. Why people drive to the gym, pace on a treadmill for 20 mins and then drive home when they could just walk to the gym and back and save themselves hundreds of pounds I'll never understand.

muppetgirl · 04/02/2009 19:42

I know!

Use baked bean cans, skipping ropes, stairs and run when you can. I've also jogged with ds 1 scootering and ds 2 in the 3 wheeler.

NormaJeanBaker · 04/02/2009 23:22

I have the makeup but not the shower. My own body scent is divine. And my unruly hair is better the day after it's been washed. I have three children - 5, 3 and 10 months - they come in the bathroom and play about if I'm showering or having a bath.

Wiltedrose · 05/02/2009 07:56

Don't have many problems keeping groomed on a day to day basis - it just takes planning. Always shower at night, get in bath with toddler and get help to 'wash mummy's hair' - leave to dry naturally and then straighten quickly before bed. Get up 5 mins earlier and have time for make up - otherwise 'pretend' to put makeup on dd while I'm doing mine which keeps her entertained!

I find it's easier personally to take half an hour out once every couple of months and get a proper leg wax than it is to slot in time for shaving or epliating.

I will discount myself from the keeping fit side of things, having the luck to work part time and belong to a gym with a fab creche - gives me a bit of an unfair advantage

I'm expecting my 2nd now so expect to have to completely rework my routine though!

christiana · 05/02/2009 09:37

Message withdrawn

lostinnappies · 05/02/2009 09:45

Hello ladies

we are having a 2 week challenge over on the style board

... if you fancy it

thread is here

thinkingaboutdrinking · 05/02/2009 18:50

thesundaymarket are you sure you're not me??? I have the same problem - I always start at the bottom and apart from one great pair of boots that I love, I always wear trainers - and nothing looks great with them...

And on the subject of make up - I've never really bothered. But I don't feel human if I haven';t showered and washed my hair every morning.
To the OP - have just had a cheap but fab haircut that doesn't need anything doing to it after washing - never got the hang of blow drying well, and it has made a HUGe difference to how I feel about myself. Rather than completely fugly, I take heart in the fact that at least my hair looks OK if nothing else!

mum4ever · 05/02/2009 20:37

laumiere - just been to the ELF website and they are really reasonable - have treated myself to some of the mineral foundation and a new lippy. Meant to be saving but just sold a few of the kids bits and bobs on Ebay and the site takes paypal!

chefswife · 06/02/2009 04:48

georgimama thanks. why shouldn't DH's watch the kids for a bit so we can have a moment.

lequeen i agree with you. i had a home birth with no painkillers or anything, gave birth at 2.30 am and when the midwife came back to see us the next afternoon, my house was clean, i was showered and groomed and wearing clothes and mumsnetting while breast feeding DD. it just makes you feel so much better.

i do have days that i don't get dolled up but that is because i am in the studio working with resins and autobody material making art. i still shower at the end of the day though.

chefswife · 06/02/2009 04:52

and besides, i've always thought that wearing fleeces and track suits when not exercising was a recipe for getting fat too because they are loose, one tends not to realize they are putting on weight

chefswife · 06/02/2009 04:52

and besides, i've always thought that wearing fleeces and track suits when not exercising was a recipe for getting fat too because they are loose, one tends not to realize they are putting on weight

chefswife · 06/02/2009 05:02

rock on lg&tonic 7 kids and you still manage to groom yourself everyday. so the rest of you out there can stop with excuses... not including anyone with illness'. pull your heads out of your asses and get organized. and who in their right mind makes lunches in the morning.

chefswife · 06/02/2009 05:13

ps. i have a very demanding 2 month old and manage to keep myself and house clean on top of having sex a few times a week too. i must be a freak, (sarcastic emotican)

ErnestTheBavarian · 06/02/2009 06:01

I'm sure you are really lovely, but come across as totally smug and judgmental.

I've got 3 kids and a baby to get out of the house by 8 am.
I often don't get time for a shower in the morning. We get up at 7. Often takes 15 minutes to prize the 2 eldest out of bed, then I've got 45 minutes to get 3 kids fed, dressed, & ready (usually takes 10 minutes just to convince them to put shoes & coats on), and baby bf, then solids, nappy, dressed etc. If I take the time to shower, they just simply don't get ready & I'll come down at 7.30 to find 3 boys sat in their boxers, still not having eaten, then the stress levels reach crisis point.

My choice is shower and be really late and murder my children, or smell As I haven't had 1 undisturbed nights sleep in about a year and feel like death every morning, so no way am I getting up half an hour earlier.

badmadmum · 06/02/2009 07:55

I am a mother of three who are now older than 5, and yes its hard getting ready but it's all about preparation! A quick streak of eye liner some mascara and lipgloss takes 2 mins and if you plan what to wear the night before its easy! I am an image consultant so I have all the style tricks up my sleeve!

christiana · 06/02/2009 08:01

Message withdrawn

Bumperslucious · 06/02/2009 08:15

Yeah, 12 hours after I had given birth I was exhausted from a sleepless night on a hospital ward, probably still in blood stained PJs, maternity pads being completely inadequate and ungroomed as I hadn't wanted to leave my newborn baby on her own in the middle of a post natal ward. Oh dear, that makes me a terrible slattern doesn't it? must do better next time.

JoeCool · 06/02/2009 10:23

I've come to this discussion rather late but very, very interested to see all the comments.
I wonder if you'd all be kind enough to help me with a bit of market research?
I have two small boys and recently set up my own business - a dress agency (really nice clothes, gently worn) and style advice.
Lots of my better-off clients are mums and my own experience told me that there are plenty more out there with less cash but who'd still welcome help with this kind of thing.
Do you think people would be interested in a workshop targeted at mums of little 'uns, advising on how to make your wardrobe/makeup etc fit in with your new demanding lifestyle?
All my workshops are really informal and it's not all about me laying down the law - it's about the group sharing ideas and helping each other as well.
Help! Shall I go for it or not?!!

Kathyis6incheshigh · 06/02/2009 10:56

This thread is an interesting mixture of great advice and unrealistic 'it was easy for me so anyone who can't do it is lazy' type assumptions.

Really there are so many different circs to consider. My dd was such a velcro baby when she was small and screamed blue murder when I put her down for a minute, so having a bath or shower was a nightmare. However I could have her on my lap and spend the time giving myself a lovely manicure.

The biggest problem I have always had since having dcs is shopping - dh looks after the children so much during the week when I am away at work that he is hugely resentful about me taking time off to go shopping or getting a haircut on my own, hence I always ended up making rushed and bad decisions and buying the wrong clothes. Internet is all very well but when fit is crucial, eg with dresses and trousers, I ended up making loads of mistakes.

However I think I have it cracked now though:
-skive off work at a quiet time to get a haircut
-loads of clothes shops now seem to have websites so you can combine online with RL shopping - eg research dresses beforehand on Monsoon website, rush in there and try on 3 dresses in 5 mins flat while dh waits outside with dcs, then either buy them in RL or if the queue is too long, go home and buy them online when dcs are in bed.
Hooray hooray hooray for Monsoon, East, Debenhams, etc, having websites now so you don't end up wearing bloody Boden just because it is the only one online!

Squirdle · 06/02/2009 11:01

I think it's all about having a routine in the mornings whether you are going out or not. If you do the same things ie up, shower. dress, hair, make-up THEN get the children washed and dressed THEN breakfast you'd probably find you had more time. I find if I stray from my routine in the mornings, it all goes to pot (and then invariably I am doing the school run with wild hair and looking like a zombie )

I have to confess that before starting my (lovely) part time job in October, I didn't bother with make-up much, but now I do every day regardless of whether I am working or not. It makes me feel better. I have to looked vaguely groomed for work and found I liked looking nice, so have stuck with it.

I can now shower, dress, hair and make up in 15 minutes now.