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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think soon-to-become-first time parents should go easy on...

110 replies

emkana · 26/01/2009 22:31

...making declarations along the lines of "I see no need to let baby sleep in our bedroom, surely he/she can sleep in their own bedroom from day one?"

OP posts:
tiggerlovestobounce · 26/01/2009 22:32

You are so right.

Highlander · 26/01/2009 22:33

I can top that. 2 weeks before Ds1 was born, I distinctly remember a conversation with DH where we proclaimed, 'all babies need is milk, sleep and cuddles - how hard can it be?'

bran · 26/01/2009 22:33

Just write down everything that they say, then read it back to them every 6 months until the child is at school.

NickiSue · 26/01/2009 22:33

Sorry - Im missing the point obviously?
When I was a soon-to-be-first-timer I did say this and he did and two and half years on I have a happy, healthy and well adjusted child who has slept through the night from three weeks old, has bonded well with us both and I doubt will resent us for it.

Nope - obviously missing the point.

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 26/01/2009 22:34

Oh yes and they also say things like "if the baby is going to die of cot death it will happen anyway, I won't hear it if it is in its own room or in a Moses Basket next to me, makes no difference"

Completely missing the point (if I understand this correctly) that being near to you i.e. in the room vastly minimises the risk, partly to do with their breathing being regulated by being in close proximity to you.

OchAyeballsintheSky · 26/01/2009 22:34

Agreed. Everything you ever thought you would do with your children goes tits up the minute they shoot out onto the bed. You can declare what you like before you have children but 99.9% of it you will forget/go back on/realise is bollocks.

DrowningInClutter · 26/01/2009 22:35

I remember saying 'the moses basket will be very useful so he can sleep in it during the day while I do stuff round the house'. He never slept in it. I didn't manage to do any housework.

terramum · 26/01/2009 22:35

yanbu...but only if you actually explained the reasons for keeping a baby in with them. Sometimes people just don't realise how important it is.

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 26/01/2009 22:36

I should perhaps ask these same (hypothetical) parents to be how I can toughen my dd2 up and make her sleep through the night.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 26/01/2009 22:36

NickieSue? Good for you. Meanwhile, for the rest of us...

harpsichordcarrier · 26/01/2009 22:37

lol
my friend (new mother) was like this:
eg. babies just need a firm hand! I am going to put it into a routine from day one, not going to be running round after him.

fast forward six months.....

Original poster
emkana · 26/01/2009 22:37

NickiSue that's great and I'm pleased for you. But the point is that in reality many parents have intentions like this and when they actually hold that tiny little thing they realize it's not as easy as they thought.

OP posts:
Pawslikepaddington · 26/01/2009 22:37

I did that too Drowning! Used it as an ironing basket for 3 months (yes, it was the same ironing that I didn't have time to do!) and then handed it on to a mum to be!

Original poster
emkana · 26/01/2009 22:38

I did just explain it to my friend. She was still doubtful though, wondered if their was "proper research" to back it up.

OP posts:
Original poster
emkana · 26/01/2009 22:38

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh

THERE was

OP posts:
Amapoleon · 26/01/2009 22:39
Grin
onepieceofbrusselssprout · 26/01/2009 22:39

Paws was it still full or ironing when you passed it on?

LynetteScavo · 26/01/2009 22:43

Things I said when I was PG with DS1;

"Millions of women have given birth, it can't be that painfull or difficult" (I ended up screaming for an epidural and needed a vontouse delivery)

"I'm not going to be one of those fussy mothers, I'm just going to leave my baby with anybody". (6 months later I actually dared to leave him with my mother one evening while he was asleep, so he wouldn't miss me.)

ohsnap · 26/01/2009 22:44

DD1 slept in her own room from the day we came home from hospital and is fine.

I was only told about a year later why people have their babies in their room with them. DD2 stayed in with us.

I guess we were lucky with DD1.

Original poster
emkana · 26/01/2009 22:45

My all-time-fave is my SIL

"I will buy a two-way baby monitor and soothe my baby back to sleep with my voice alone"

five years on they have three children and they all sleep together - five in a bed!

OP posts:
namechangepleaseexcuse · 26/01/2009 22:46

Methinks there's a couple of posters who have missed the point.... Or have I by thinking the op is talking about all the declarations made before the birth which often take a sudden change once an actual baby is added into the mix?

I was going to go back to work asap. And I mean asap, I was thinking a month, maybe 2 at the most...I asked my midwife how soon I could go back to work when still preggers and she looked at me as if I was mental.

ohsnap · 26/01/2009 22:46

When my brother (with 3 under 2) was talking to my pregnant cousin about the mess associated with weaning, she said "Oh, we won't have that problem, we've got a plastic floor mat.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 26/01/2009 22:46

Work colleague "we don't want having a baby to change our life-style"

namechangepleaseexcuse · 26/01/2009 22:47

sorry about the name I changed it for another thread... I must change that back...

Pawslikepaddington · 26/01/2009 22:48

It was! Dd had grown out of them before I ironed them