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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think soon-to-become-first time parents should go easy on...

110 replies

emkana · 26/01/2009 22:31

...making declarations along the lines of "I see no need to let baby sleep in our bedroom, surely he/she can sleep in their own bedroom from day one?"

OP posts:

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 26/01/2009 22:49

"I will still have a social life, motherhood won't change that".

HAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA......

Stefka · 26/01/2009 22:50

My fave is my SIL who used to slap her belly during the day to step her DD sleeping. She was sleep training in the womb!

NickiSue · 26/01/2009 22:52

Apologies, I took the tone of the post wrong! I'm big enough to hold my hands up to that. It did just come across as a bit "Ha -Newbies - they'll learn" lol.

I do appreciate the reasons for sleeping in the same room etc and also that I was very lucky my lo pretty much always slept through.

expatinscotland · 26/01/2009 22:52

'this baby will just slot right in' (with their lifestyle).

a) dream on b) tell me that in 5 years when your baby is now an independent-minded child.

thumbwitch · 26/01/2009 22:53

ha, being one of those who thought I could get DS to sleep in his cot in his own room from day 1, and would need industrial ear-defenders to get some sleep or I would turn into psychokillerqueenbitch, and then ended up co-sleeping with DS fulltime for the first 5.5m, I would say just laugh gently to yourself, store it up and throw it back at them later (in the nicest possible way).

In fact, it would be nice to have some kind of booklet with these pre-PFB sayings in them, that we could just hand over to the nearly-new-parents...

SixSpot · 26/01/2009 22:55

My cousin opined to me that the reason toddlers were fussy about vegetables was because they didn't see their parents eating vegetables.

She's just had her first DC and oh boy am I looking forward to the toddler years...

poopscoop · 26/01/2009 22:56

what about the first time mums with the birthing plan, no medial intevention, 30 bags of birthing balls, mats, cream, soothing music, snacsk etc, only to come out saying they had the complete works of medical intervention

dmo · 26/01/2009 22:57

haha very funny
life before children (cant remember it) mine are now 11 and 12!!!!!!!!!!!!
and no children were not going to change out life

thumbwitch · 26/01/2009 22:58

ah yes - the only thing I knew about birthing plans was not to get too worked up over them cos 90%+ of the time, they didn't work out. I only had 3 things on mine, and in the end only 1 of them actually happened!

naturalblonde · 26/01/2009 23:00

I said i wouldn't use tv as a babysitter

superfrenchie1 · 26/01/2009 23:02

oh god i said all these! i will still have a social life! i will take the baby camping! i will let my friends and family babysit! my baby will sleep through the night! and through the day in his bouncy chair! i will use the sling to go everywhere! i will do an open university course while i am bored at home! i will make friends with lots of other mummies and feel very relaxed at mother and baby groups! i will do exercise dvds while the baby snoozes in his chair or lies gurgling on his playmat! i will be very relaxed about food and discipline and a very loving, liberal mother! i will get thin! i will not get stressed when the baby gets very messy! i will not be neurotic!

NONE OF THEM HAPPENED!!!

superfrenchie1 · 26/01/2009 23:03

oh ok i am maybe loving and maybe liberal. but none of the others happened

Doodle2U · 26/01/2009 23:04

"Why do parents need these massive big bags when they have a baby? What do they put in them, FGS? All you need is a nappy and some wipes!"

1 year later, same mother had the biggest eff-off rucksack you've ever seen

MamaMaiasaura · 26/01/2009 23:06

I have a cotbed that hasnt been slept in yet (he is 13 months old now ... he never slept in moses basket either. Is currently in a cot next to our bed and will likely end up in the bed in the night. I have been told with authority from my dearest mother.. I am ruining any chance of our ds2 EVER sleeping in his own room...

All i heard was blah blah

poopscoop · 26/01/2009 23:09

i was always bottle in one coat pocket, nappy and wipe in the other.

Have been known to heat milk up by sticking it on dashboard and whacking the heating full on

thumbwitch · 26/01/2009 23:10

lol at superfrenchie - am there with you on at least half of those!
but not the social life - I wasn't worried about that, but I did take DS along to his first party (at lunchtime) when he was 6 days old; his second (also at lunchtime) when he was 13 days old (it was Christmas!) and a wedding when he was 8mo. He is a very social baby, luckily for us!

I never wanted to use the tv either but oh god it makes a difference; and I was going to make all his food myself after weaning until I realised I barely had time to feed myself (DH does the evening meal) and Ella's Kitchen sachets were just soooo useful...

But actually some things I did better than I thought I would. I was worried the crying would drive me nuts - it never did (although it is starting to now, cos he is being manipulative!); I was worried I wouldn't be able to deal with the poo - but I did and do; I was able to leave DS for short periods from very early on (to attend hospital appts) without having a nervous breakdown; and I am not as stressed out about things as I thought I would be, well, not with DS anyway! I think I might take it out on DH...

poopscoop · 26/01/2009 23:12

and what about these blinking great 'travelator' prams, crikes, there is enough room for a family on them. They are gettingmore and more bulky and sumptuous.

I loved my mclaren stroller. light as a feather, easy to manoevre, and carried huges amounts of shopping on the handles. DC were forever tipped over backwards when i let go, or when i took them out all my eggs etc would smash on the floor oh those were the days.

EsmeWeatherwax · 26/01/2009 23:14

Superfrenchie, can't help but lol at your post, I'm due my second in a few months and am vowing I will get thin as soon as I've had her...same as I did last time. lol..obviously learning not my strong point!

llareggub · 26/01/2009 23:15

I was going to learn Spanish on maternity leave. Oh, and find all of the lost socks.

I never did learn Spanish and we now have only odd socks.

I also remember reading various feeding gurus before baby came and decided that my baby would be fed every 4 hours. In hospital I told the midwife this and she laughed at me. I was most indignant. DS was (actually still is) a demand fed breastfed baby!

llareggub · 26/01/2009 23:15

Oh, and I forgot that we weren't going to have any plastic tat either.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 26/01/2009 23:16

Mine were:

People with babies shouldn't be allowed in shopping centers with prams on busy days they take up too much room. I will never do that when I am a parent

bluejelly · 26/01/2009 23:20

I told my mum that I was going to do an MA whilst on mat leave

I remember feeling dejected and surprised when she gently burst my bubble

DD is 9, still haven't done an MA

minouminou · 26/01/2009 23:30

I was adamant we wouldn't co-sleep, but only because DP is an - ahem - active sleeper, and sowe didn't. He did, however, sleep in our room until 6 months. I'd said until 12, but he and DP were waking each other up all the time.
But I did insist I'd BF for 3 months only, then go back on Ritalin and start work again.
DS turned 2 in Oct and has only just given up his tahtahs! I went back to work (self-employed) and just coped without the kiddie-coke.
Oh, and no TV.....yeah, right....nuff sed.
Can't think of anything I'd do differently this time, though - although maybe i WILL make more effort at baby signing (snigger).

FairLadyRantALot · 26/01/2009 23:31

you are totally right....

womblingfree · 26/01/2009 23:31

Every parent and every baby is different and let's face it no-one really has a clue until they have their first how they are going to feel about things, let alone try and second guess the nature of babe-to-be.

I had every intention of DD being in with us for several months (in Moses basket), but she was such a noisy sleeper that after settling her from a feed I couldn't go back to sleep for 2-3 hours by which time the next one was nearly due.

My health visitor actually advised me that under the circumstances, we would all be better off with DD in her own room and that was where she went at 3 weeks and has stayed ever since (now 4.4).

Would not recommend it if not necessary, but sometimes there's a reason for things that are not considered 'the done thing' - everyone's circumstances are different.

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