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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think soon-to-become-first time parents should go easy on...

110 replies

emkana · 26/01/2009 22:31

...making declarations along the lines of "I see no need to let baby sleep in our bedroom, surely he/she can sleep in their own bedroom from day one?"

OP posts:
Technofairy · 26/01/2009 23:40

Arf!

I remember a woman who worked for me telling a member of her team who was pregnant that morning sickness was mind over matter and that she just needed to pull herself together. If she didn't want to be sick, she wouldn't be sick. Simple!

Yeah, right. My own horrible experiences counted for nothing with her and I was her bloody boss. The great childless one knew best. Needless to say we were less than sympathetic when the poor dear then had all day sickness when she was expecting. At first anyway, we were nice really, but I did enjoy having a word with her about not judging people in future unless she actually knew what she was talking about. She did apologise to her poor team member though and is now a confirmed earth mother, lovely mum and supportive colleague.

I actually thought I was going to decorate a couple of rooms and make curtains, cushions and lord knows what while I was on mat leave. Mad, deluded fool that I was. Not a chance!

thumbwitch · 26/01/2009 23:47

I thought I would get my tax return done nice and early before DS came along - nae luck, did it at the last possible moment (as every year, including this one) and had to buy a baby carrier to keep DS close to me so that he would let me sort papers out etc. without wailing all the time. He didn't "do" daytime naps unless I was asleep with him for months. DH couldn't understand why I got nothing done cos "babies sleep most of the time, don't they?"

minouminou · 26/01/2009 23:55

Oh yeah - when i go on mat leave in march, I'm gonna do some decorating too.
I might choose the colours.................

BabyBump2B · 27/01/2009 00:20

I have heard a few of these come out of my mouth in the last few years. Now #1 is on its way I'm afraid I'm about to get my comeuppance!

solo · 27/01/2009 00:21

LOL! they'll surely learn soon enough!

Technofairy · 27/01/2009 00:59

Yep, minouminou, choose the colours by all means but then please, please ask someone else to do all the work!

I was so huge the week I finished work that I couldn't fasten my own shoes. I couldn't find my own feet let alone a roller. And after he was born? I was so sleep deprived I'd have confessed to anything. No wonder the CIA uses it as an interrogation technique at Guantanamo Bay! I couldn't focus on a wall long enought to even care whether the wallpaper or paint looked a bit shit!!

Enjoy your baby is the best advice I can give anyone. No big plans or projects ladies. Sleep, rest, recuperate and bond. Anything else is a bonus!

VeryAnnieMary · 27/01/2009 08:55

(Male) friend, anticipating first child, thought he could continue to work from home and also do the childcare as "they'll be sleeping most of the time". Bless.

I'm loving this thread! (and taking notes)

ThePgHedgeWitchIsCrankyBeware · 27/01/2009 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cory · 27/01/2009 09:06

expatinscotland on Mon 26-Jan-09 22:52:17
"'this baby will just slot right in' (with their lifestyle)."

That was me . And yes, I was proof-reading while still in hospital. And doing a new piece of (actually very good) research while she was rolling around on the floor of my office at 6 months. What I hadn't counted on is how completely an older child can bugger up your career and life. I think I thought by the time they went to school, they'd be pretty well self-sufficient...

But then- I hadn't counted on all the fun bits either.

And some bits- I was actually better at than I'd anticipated. I didn't resent their taking over the house, I didn't forget to feed and change the baby, I only dropped her on her head once (and that was the pram, not me- honest!).

georgimama · 27/01/2009 09:10

We weren't going to have any plastic tat, I was going to BF for 6 weeks just to give him a good start and baby was going to be in a firm routine from day one.

Fast forward 22 months - house looks like a branch of the Early Learning Centre crossed with Wacky Warehouse, DS sleeps in our bed and has only just come off boob.

We do laugh in a hollow fashion "who would have thought we would be hippy parents?"

SoupDragon · 27/01/2009 09:17

Oh I love the innocence of first time parents-to-be. It reminds me of when I was less weary. Let them be - it's something they'll only do once before they are all as wise as us

I had the outside of my house painted by someone about to become a father for the first time. he said "We're all ready for the baby. We've painted the nursery!" I wanted to hug him.

Whilst it is funny, it is also lovely and they should be allowed their innocence. Which isn't to say you shouldn't note it all down and remind them of it 5 years later...

MrsMattie · 27/01/2009 09:23

oh, we all did it, though, didn't we?

I remember when i was about 3 months pregnant visiting my BIL & SIl and their two toddlers and being horrified by practically every (perfectly normal) thing that went on.

I distinctly remember thinking:

'My kids will always finish what's on their plate bwfore leaving the table!' and 'My kids will never eat McD's chicken nuggets!'

Oh, how I ate my words (while my DS scoffed his Happy Meal!)

I was also:

Going to breastfeed for a year (it's natural, therefore, it must be easy... )

Going to have my baby sleeping through the night by 12 weeks (how hard can it be?

Divineintervention · 27/01/2009 09:23

Ooops, I made no silly declarations with baby one or two...in fact they were perfect, always slept (within my expectations), fed and ate well and barely cried. My biggest problem was that I assumed that was anything to do with me!!!! DC3 OMG she cried, screamed and barely slept for eight months!!!

Divineintervention · 27/01/2009 09:26

Oh yes, my dcs were never going to watch TV and I would do something 'educational' for at least an hour with them everyday, and each of them would get half an hour individual attention everyday....I was thinking about those ficticious 40 hour days, of course!!!

MrsMattie · 27/01/2009 09:26

lol!@Divine.

That's harsh!

blueshoes · 27/01/2009 09:45

I remember an old thread about a pregnant firsttime mother who was going to book a holiday when her lo was only a few weeks old, expecting to relax by the pool whilst her newborn, I don't know, sleeps?

Doodle2U · 27/01/2009 09:49

By poopscoop on Mon 26-Jan-09 23:09:21

"Have been known to heat milk up by sticking it on dashboard and whacking the heating full on!"

LOVE IT!

MrsMattie · 27/01/2009 09:50

LOL!@blueshoes

Doodle2U - I put cartons of formula on the radiator in the middle of the night when my bottle warmer broke. By any means necessary!

BalloonSlayer · 27/01/2009 09:56

this thread on classics

ninedragons · 27/01/2009 10:03

I told my boss, in all seriousness, that I'd take a fortnight off work until the c-section healed and then come back and put the baby in a basket under my desk, where it would sleep soundly while I worked.

She did just about wet herself laughing.

LoveMyLapTop · 27/01/2009 10:04

I do remember thinking how hard can it be?
As long as the baby is fed and has a clean bum, you just leavee it in its cot to sleep.

DS1 lived in his sling strapped to me for oooh at least the first 5 weeks! HAHAHAHAHA!

ninedragons · 27/01/2009 10:10

Oh God, the full cringeworthy naivete of that conversation is coming back to me.

I asked her if I could book the conference room for five-minute blocks a couple of times a day so I could breastfeed in there

lljkk · 27/01/2009 10:39

"My child will be out of the pushchair at an early age, 2.5yo at the latest"

Oh well, at least pushing preschoolers around has kept me thin .

georgimama · 27/01/2009 10:50

Oh my 22 month old is out of a pushchair but I don't feel smug about it, he's also out of his cot, out of his high chair, out of the toddler seat and I'm out of my mind!

ChugtasticCrew · 27/01/2009 10:51

LOL! My all time favourite is 'they won't be watching television'

Oh....reeeeHHHheeeeallly??