To be highly irritated about the Twin thread - school trip fees

[DietDisaster]

I can't understand how people think that having two children close together has a similar financial impact as having twins (or higher multiples) .

As a mum of dearly loved DTs, this makes me annoyed because parents of twins have to buy two lots of baby equipment (double pram, two cots, highchairs, nappies!!) at the same time and as they grow nothing can be passed down. Also have to pay two lots of childcare/nursery fees, when they want to do activities they can only do them if you can afford to pay twice (mine have to do exactly the same things as I'm not having either of them miss out). When they start school, two lots of uniform, coats, shoes not to mention trips, then there's beds, larger car, university fees etc, etc.

At least parents who have kids close together can reuse a lot of stuff and anyway, it is their CHOICE to have them close together, you have no choice over whether you have twins and I don't believe that anyone who decides to get pregnant thinks 'oh, better wait until I'm sure I can afford 2 in case I have twins'. People who have children close together can plan to space out their children if they can't afford it.

Therefore, I think schools should help out parents of twins, triplets etc and they should not have to pay the same as singletons!!

Before I go somebody reassure me that school trips don't generally cost £350, I'd better send the dtwins out to work now if that's the case !!!!!!

I had twins and didnt have IVF. People who do have IVF arent "asking" to have twins they are just desperate to have a child. I dont believe in unplanned pregnancies. You know if theres a chance you could have got pregnant or not.er..morning after pill anyone? CHOICE!!

willi I took the morning after pill approx 8hrs after "the deed"........

the result of that deed is currently clambering over his older brothers

You must be super fertile,unlike me then!

um you do realise contraception isn't 100% effective even when used properly- isn't the pill 98% effective or somesuch? A very few people even conceive after sterilisation has been attempted.

Unplanned pregnancies do exist, of course they do. The morning after pill has a notable failure rate, and not everyone can take it I believe. It's just part of life- you does the deed you takes the risk.

I did "the Deed" for 5 years before I spontaneously got my id twins. My elder DS was 9 when they were born.

I think I must be especially as a medicial condition meant the intercourse was extremely rare between DS1's birth and DS3's conception (I think I can count on my fingers how many times).

I genuinely do get embarassed by it, as I know how incredibly lucky I was not to have to have "tried" for any of my gorgeous DS's (well we did "try" for DS1....but I got my BFP first month of trying).

PMSL @ Xenia's two extremes,

The nanny hirers

The benefits claimants"

Yes but if we assume the woman earns say £20k a year whichi s not a fortunre and gives up an extra two years of working as she has chidlern 2 years apart then she's £40k a year worse off for not having twins. If she earns what I do then obviously that much much more of a loss if she stops work. It's only people who would earn the cost of a cot only who wuold find twins more expensive surely. Speakign as someone with three singletons and then twins I have been in both camps.

Obviously benefit claimants aren't losing wages when they give birth nor are women who have never worked so then the sums are different.

Willit - how can you not believe in unplanned pregnancies. Have you heard how many people get pregnant while on the pill - once you admit to it yourself all sorts of people tell you their stories. My midwife was supposedly sterilised (I presume tied - dont know much about it myself) when she fell with her fourth. A lot of people have very light periods on the pill too, or not at all, and therefore have no idea until quite late in pregnancy that they are pregnant. Two different types of pill, and two failures later I soon sent dh off to get things snipped. I intended one child and have three - wouldnt change it for the world, but still.... It has totally wrecked my career, body, house etc. I know those things arent important but I live in terror of it happening again .

But that's your experience, not anyone elses: I cnceioved ds1 in 2 weeks, ds2 the same, ds3 6 weeks and ds4 six months (I have instead had different problems to contend with- hyperemesis, ecampsia, autism...)

Fertility rates vary massively, not just between people but over time and health.

"IMO if you have more than one child then unless they can all go on a school trip at their alloted time then none of them goes. "

A good principle I think, however not always practical. Someone may manage to afford to send their DC1 on an expensive school trip, may even manage to send their 2nd DC on the same trip when it's their turn. Something could happen between DC2 going and DC3 going which means that it's simply not an option.

Noonki, if this is the case, it baffles me as to why schools are organising residential school trips at all, as opposed to stocking their libraries properly - you can get a lot of books for £375 a head and they will last more than a long weekend. Why not ask parents to buy books instead?? What is this modern obsession with residential trips that costs more than a night in a five star hotel?? (We paid a ripoff £180 recently for DS to have 48 hours away).

My DS has recentlt brought home information about a 3 week trip costing a cool £3375 (yes you read right-no decimal point in there)

OMG!!!

What planet are these teachers on???

Come back Colony Holidays, that's what I say.

OMG Where is it going to?

Presumably the moon with Virgin?

At dc secondary school there is a week where the children can choose from a leaflet lots of activities..it ranges from free upwards to whatever it costs for a trip to New York!

So you can stay on island and do surfing, absailing, kite surfing etc....stay ay the school and make movies..or go to disneyland paris or other places.

It covers for all price ranges.

I'm guessing the 4 figure one is Ecaudor or that part of the world.

DD- eh? You have the joy of having twins. I am sorry it's such a bind for you.

If you really can't afford two sets of school trips, then mention it to their teacher- there is usually help available for people who are really struggling. I do think you're being unreasonable though when you can negotiate discounts for shoes, equipment, etc through TAMBA, pick up second hand stuff very easily (as most people have to) and the children can share clothes assuming same sex and roughly same size). My friend who had triplets earlier this year barely two years after twins is I hope feeling more blessed than put upon (even though very tired...).

DD - my two littlies were both planned and much wanted children. We planned to have a couple of years between them but I got pg with ds straight away and there is only a year between them.

Because of where their birthdays fall, they are in the same class at school so passing on school clothes is not an option, school trips for one = school trips for the other as they will go on the same trip, being in the same class. One is a boy and one is a girl, so passing on my dd2's pink, flowery skirts to ds is not an option.

Whilst we were both employed in reasonably good jobs when we had them, now we are both unemployed so money is a bit short, what are we supposed to do, send one of them back?

Anyway, most (if not all) schools have a policy of allowing ALL children to go along on school trips regardless of whether they can afford it, which is why they generally ask for a voluntary contribution.

hth

Well I carefully planned all my children to be exactly 22 months apart so their Birthdays wouldn't impact on each others and they'd all be summer babies.
However I still needed a double buggy on both occassion's, which was £500, the same price as many people pay for a single and because they are all different shapes and sizes at different times of the year and have different hobbies, very little is handed down at all. I needed a MPV and expensive car seats, 2 in the stage 1+ at £100 each.
The biggest disadvantage with twins I think is lack of earning potential because how you'd care for two babies and hold down a job I don't know, hats off to those who do.

Loads of mothers of multiples and even mothers of 5 like me work full time in demanding careers but you need a spouse who sees childcare as a 50.50 thing so vavoid sexist men, that's the real key to it and ideally enough money to be able to afford childcare. which of course is not a female expense but something shared between both parents.

I found the twins much easier than when we both workd full time with a 3 year old, 1 year old and new baby actualyl. The fact they are at the same developmental stage means you can automate hte process a bit. For example I alays breastfed them at the same time one on each side which is less time consuming that if I were breastfeeding the baby and then given the 1 year old its lunch.

Xenia, you are my inspiration, I may end up with twins due to IVF and have 5 in total, I hope I am up to the challenge as I'll need to work full time but we will have a nanny and a cleaner (no private school though).