To be highly irritated about the Twin thread - school trip fees

[DietDisaster]

I can't understand how people think that having two children close together has a similar financial impact as having twins (or higher multiples) .

As a mum of dearly loved DTs, this makes me annoyed because parents of twins have to buy two lots of baby equipment (double pram, two cots, highchairs, nappies!!) at the same time and as they grow nothing can be passed down. Also have to pay two lots of childcare/nursery fees, when they want to do activities they can only do them if you can afford to pay twice (mine have to do exactly the same things as I'm not having either of them miss out). When they start school, two lots of uniform, coats, shoes not to mention trips, then there's beds, larger car, university fees etc, etc.

At least parents who have kids close together can reuse a lot of stuff and anyway, it is their CHOICE to have them close together, you have no choice over whether you have twins and I don't believe that anyone who decides to get pregnant thinks 'oh, better wait until I'm sure I can afford 2 in case I have twins'. People who have children close together can plan to space out their children if they can't afford it.

Therefore, I think schools should help out parents of twins, triplets etc and they should not have to pay the same as singletons!!

Most people I know can't afford it,they just scrimp and gather the money together any which way they can.

Sorry, but if you've paid for IVF you can afford it. You may have had to make sacrifices but you've still had IVF. Many people don't and end up childless.

Perhaps you could have done what we did and take in a lodger, thereby ensuring that you still had a reasonable size house in which to raise the dcs. Or taken part in the egg donation scheme whereby your IVF is paid for by the egg recepient and any eggs shared equally between you.

The ones' I feel sorry for and the ones who genuinely cannot raise the funds and have to go on the 15 year NHS waiting list. By which time they've had their menapause anyway.

yep, subsidy should be dependant on need, nothing else.

Don't think we'd have fitted a lodger in our flat.

I have friends who ran up huge credit card bills which they are still paying off in order to pay for their treatment,don't think it could be said they could afford it.

Yes we were lucky we had a flat to sell but many aren't so fortunate and resort to other means.

I think twins are more expensive at least initially. Some things that could be reused if your second baby came along nine months later would be, 1st stage car seat. Bumbo seat, moses baskets, bouncer chair, baby bath, sleep suits, bottles, and baby walker. I had two of all of these and then had to either try to sell them or give them away. What this has to do with school trips is another matter.

I feel more sorry for those people who spent all that money on IVF and came away empty-handed - as expensive as it is, at least you and I achieved our goals. Imagine you had to sell your flat to pay for IVF which didn't even work.

I have two children 9.5 months apart...it was bloody hard work and VERY expensive...

Why are so many people ignoring the point that the real cost is the cost of childcare, de-motions or career breaks when you become a parent. The impact of these on the family finances must be cheaper in the long run for multiples if the parent takes a career break while children are pre-school, or takes a demotion to go part time etc. With multiples the impact of having pre-school, primary school age children affecting ability to work is reduced in the length of years (assuming no other children). This must surely outway the cost of extra babygros or car seats. Therefore surely the worst case, most expensive option (assuming both parents need to work) is having children with big gaps between them (which I havent thank goodness - poor enough as it is).

I know.

I know many who haven't, doesn't mean it isn't tough for those of us who do succeed though.

You financially cripple yourselves then have children to care for.

That made little sense - the result of working since 5am this morning (around children as I cant afford the childcare for three children having chosen both de-motion and reduced hours to care for little ones spaced out over a few years). Perhaps I am biased in my opinions!!! Certainly the loss of income over 7 years so far is the crippling factor for me. The cost of cots etc is nothing by comparision and I still havent got them all at school!!!

It's spread out though Frogwatcher.

In the here and now you physically don't have the money for 3 sets of pre-school fees,trip fees it just isn't there.

I know, and then you hear about the Karen Mathews of this world who get pregnant at the drop of a hat and don't even really care about their babies.

I know

NEWS FLASH

Having children is expensive - end of story

Amen to that

oh poo, sorry, I'd opened the thread a while ago and gone and sorted dinnner - hadn't seen the latest posts relating to IVF success/failure

Nametaken I read an interesting article in one of the Sunday papers ages ago about the ladies who don't succeed.

Apparantly the financial effects,damage to careers are just as detrimental as the emotional effects of years of IVF.

I do feel for these ladies as they then don't get any support.

Starting to gatecrash now sorry.

Boffin - our local school has trouble buying books!

MilaMae - I accept that its spread out - but long term still just as expensive. And by the time children are at school lots of people have more than one at school therefore creating exactly the same costs etc. Cant see the difference in the cost of trip fees when comparing costs of multiples going in one class, or two children of different ages going from different classes. In the early years of primary, parents often are still paying childcare for another younger sibling at nursery for example. It is so complicated that in my opinion (which I know doesnt count for much except for to me) there can be no generalisation or assumption that multiples are more or less expensive. It all depends on how much equipment was available/got cheaply/provided by others, impact on work (or if parents work), other siblings ages etc etc.

My fault FAQ ,will walk away from the thread now

See you in Multiples Nametaken.

phew - didn't mean to offend anyone, and thankfully it would appear I haven't.