to expect an apology from the mother of the child that bit my baby

[toreen]

My 9 month old ds was in the creche at the local Sure Start centre this morning and was bitten on the cheek by another child (aged 2). The child bit him so hard that she broke the skin and you can still see the teeth marks 3 hours later. I was very shocked and upset, as you can imagine.

Am I being unreasonable to think the child's mother should have apologised for her child's behaviour?

Of course she should have apologised, and so should the two year old.

Poor wee ds.

I would have apologised but just wondered did the other mother know it was your baby that was bitten. Quite often staff will just say - your child bit another child but won't give names.

Hope your baby is ok - same happened to my DS1 when he was about 1.

Your poor little boy

Yes she should have apologised but I expect she was too embarrassed TBH.

I don't think the Creche are allowed to say which children are involved which may be why you didn't get an apology.

My ds accidently knocked over a little boy at nursery and they way he fell he fell onto a book case and bumped his head. I asked around and found out which child it was and offered apologies to the mother the next day.

Yes, she did know it was my baby that had been bitten.

Yes she should have, but you need to understand that biting is very common amoungst toddlers The chances are your baby will bite another child at some point.

Some of my children have been bitten and 2 of them did the biting and I found it motifying to have a child that bit and was always very aplogetic.

Hope your ds is OK, and you're not too shaken.

Realistically, I suspect the child's mother couldn't have apologised even if they wanted to, as staff are not usually allowed to tell parents who else is involved in a biting incident (were you told whose child bit yours?)

Lots of kids do bite, I'm afraid (one of mine was a biter, although fortunately only ever with family and good friends

Did she say anything to you at all or just sort of ignore you?

I am an apologiser by nature though - DS1 scratched a little boy at school before xmas (he's 4 and knows better). The teacher told me and i questioned DS1 and found out which boy and called the mother to apologise. I know all these things tend to be phases but just think its nice to say sorry.

However have seen some threads where parents of children who have been bitten have gone ballistic at the biter's parents so this may be why she was reluctant to say anything.

Sorry, x-post. In that case, of course she should have apologised - although she was probably too mortified, I'd guess (& hope)
Am really amazed the centre were happy to talk about who did the biting - that's pretty unusual (& not recommended policy, iirc)

One of mine was bitten on the cheek at nursery, fwiw - healed up quickly and he never seemed slightly bothered - think biting is by and large scarier for adults than it is for children, so hopefully your lo isn't too bothered by it
(None of this is to excuse her not apologising, just in the hope if making you feel better )

i would and do have to apoligise for ds2 for biting.i also make him say sorry(well he doesn't speak so he has to give them a kiss).it's a horrible faze they go through and you feel the worst parent in the world.but my ds2 has also been bitten.i wasn't upset, it's the joys of having kids

There weren't many children in the creche and tbh, they didn't name the child. Let's just say it was obvious which child was the culprit.

I know children bite (I was a biter myself apparently!), I was shocked at the ferocity of the bite and the fact it's on his face.

have a word with the parent then. i would rather know if my child had done something that caused such a bite

toreen children do seem to go for the face - i know to adults it seems particularly aggressive but thats just not how a 2 year old thinks.

it will heal very quickly though - my DS's did thankfully.

Poor ds. YANBU.

My boy got bitten on the arm at his nursery and I go an "accident report form", when what I really wanted to know was who did it!!

But they aren't allowed to tell you. One of the girls confided to me that it was a boy who is known as being bitey and they were addressing it with the parents...

I decided if it happens again I would complain but until then put it down to experience. He cried the next three times he went though which made me sad.

My DS has bitten me a few times, and I've quizzed the staff at the nursery to make sure he hasn't bitten anyone there. TBH, the last time it was more a case of my arm in front of his face/mouth while trying to get him to sit still and get his shoes on and I think he was just too hyped up and bit me .

But I've been assured that they've not been aware of any incidents at all, so fingers crossed he wont' bite anyone else. Not sure how I'd apologise to any parents if I needed to, as everyone collects their children at different times!

What a horrible thing to happen but I think the mother may well not know which baby he bit.

i can't believe they told you who bit him - how totally unprofessional! it's not nice but it does happen - dd1 spent most of her first two years with 'victim' tattooed on her head... poor ds.

i'd be asking the sure start centre how on earth it happened though personally - there is a very good reason that 9 month olds are usually in a seperate room/ area from boisterous and unpredictable toddlers! was it a one-off that they were in together or is it the norm?

hope he heals soon x

its very common for children to go through stages of biting - my DS1 went through this stage when he was 2 - and luckily he only bit us and one close friends daughter - I apologised profusely and sent DS on the stairs for 2mins and made him say sorry too, but thats just me. A few months ago we were at our local breastfeeding club and he (now 4) was bitten by an 18mth old - she apologised and cried because she has problems with him since her baby was born and I tried to say it's fine, they all go through it and although DS got hurt, I tried to brush it off. I was the one feeling awful though, because she never came back and she seemed as though she realy could have done with the support.

Maybe the mother is very embarrassed and will apologise next week. Its not nice being the mother of a biting child - you feel as though you have done something wrong in the way you bring your child up. Try not to take it to heart - think of it from her view too - i'm sure she felt awful.

I hope your DC is ok now though.

I think you should give the other parent a break. My DD went through a LOOOONG phase of biting, and we worked with nursery trying everything to stop it. Shes just about grown out of it - touch wood - but it is still an instinctive thing with her. She does have to say sorry - and if I knew another parent who's child she had bitten, I would apologise.

I have always asked the staff to pass on my apologies to the other parents. But don't know if I would do it to their face - once I overheard one dad being told his DC had been bitten and he was quite angry about it - I didn't think it right to say 'oh that was prob my DD, sorry' - he clearly didn't understand that it is not a vindictive thing. I scurried off in shame instead

Both my children have been bitten and I'm afraid it is all part of mixing with other little darlings!

If Tom had bitten another child, then I would be apologising on his behalf. If he was actually talking, I would make him apologise as well.

Give the poor mother a break. She is probably mortified that her DC bit.

YABU - honestly, as the mother of a biter, it is an awful thing to have to deal with. The important thing is that the nursery make sure it does not happen again.

I do wonder why a 2 year old and a 9 month old are that close together though?????

If she knew which baby/mother was the victim then she should have apologised.

My friends little girl hit another baby at her nursery this week (both only 12 months old) and whilst the "offender" and "victims" mums were told, they did not disclose which baby had done it. My friend was not even told which baby her daughter had "attacked". Its to prevent people falling out.