Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't think I am but here goes

312 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 07/01/2009 22:29

DS1 has opportunity to go on a school journey. I was in 2 minds about letting him go mainly because there is going to be 6 chalets each with 5 children in and 1 chalet with 4 members of staff in.

Now it comes out that the price which is £350 does not apply to the 3 sets of twins in the class they have to pay £350 for the 2 rather than £700.

DS1 really wants to go so i have said to him IF the twins are both going and only paying for one then I will be telling the school that I will pay half the price as what is good for 1 (or in this case 6 with it being 3 sets of twins) is good for all.

Am I being unreasonable to expect the price to be the same for all???

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 07:46

Pure, why should ANY child miss out because the parents can't afford it twin or not?

OP posts:
purepurple · 08/01/2009 07:51

my post should read * its not their fault they are twins oops

PottyCock · 08/01/2009 07:55

...and the fact you have just posted this link on your postnatal thread to rally your friends round just goes to prove my point.

MadMarg · 08/01/2009 08:53

I would be pretty miffed with twins going for the price of 1, I agree with the previous posters who said there should be a discount for the 2nd child, maybe half price, but certainly not for free.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 09:06

Potty, I asked for their opinions and rather than type it all out again i added the link, sure saves me time. I didn't realise i was limited to the people whose opinions i could ask for...do apologise if i have broken some unspoken rule of yours.

You are the one with a problem not I, the way the original question was asked had no mention on babyj or ss yet for some obscure reason you feel the need to bring them both up..hmmmmm and I have problems???

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 09:08

madmarg,

I would not have a problem with there being a discount for the second child. The way it is, most parents are paying £350 for one child and 3 parents are paying £350 for 2 children. Therefore they are getting a BOGOF holiday for their kids. I just think the same rule should be applied for all or rather the same pricing.

OP posts:
PottyCock · 08/01/2009 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 09:18

I just think you're a bit of a bully TLES.

Far from a bully I just think fairness towards all should be apparent.

You start these plaintive threads time and time again where you vilify others (never thinking to look at your own attitudes or reactions)

I always look at my own attitude. what is wrong with thinking if a woman who is making more money than dp and i and illegally can get help then why should not all the parents get help?

and it often turns out there's something else entirely behind the reason you've purported to post in the first place.

No, the sets of twins are paying half price that was the original point and still is.

Then someone calls you up on it, then you either start other threads or try and pull reinforcements in.

Pull reinforcements in??? LMAO, how silly that sounds. I am asking people i have been speaking to for over 2 years their opinions, did not realise this meant i was pulling in reinforcements lol.

Then you end up having the thread deleted if you don't feel you are 'winning'.

Actually i have only had one thread deleted.

It's all a bit odd and quite telling.

Hmmmm I think your obssession with coming on every thread i start and bringing up my step son is odd. But hey ho each to their own i guess.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 09:22

Oh and Potty, its not about winning it is for me about getting others opinions, sometimes i get to type everything i need in the first post however sometimes with ds2 i don't get that opportunity and have to do it in parts and by then someone has replied.

Just because I don't agree with every single poster does not make me a bully. YOU brought up the babyj thread even though it was deleted (and not requested by me either) so obviously it is you that has the issues with me. As i said if you have such an issue then why read my threads? you obviously do not like them and even though others have said they agree that they would be miffed about the same situation you still have to say i am wrong and a bully.

OP posts:
FimbleHobbs · 08/01/2009 09:32

If you can't afford the trip, either speak to the school and ask for help, or don't send your son on it.

What anyone else pays is none of your business.

If you know someone is a benefit cheat, report them.

ThingOne · 08/01/2009 09:47

You say the school is aware your husband was made redundant. That's not the same as applying to the hardship fund. If you want or need financial help you have to apply, same as anyone else. This woman clearly did, and got the money.

YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 08/01/2009 09:52

YABU
My younger sisters are twins ther are 3 yrs between us all and we grew up in a divorced family where my mum struggled her arse off for us. I am so proud of her for that and admire her greatly.

We went without alot and I only ever went on one school trip. All 3 of us did. Simply because my mum could not afford it. If your ds school is offering to help the parents of those who struggle with having twins I think that is fantastic.

I think that you are all to quick to jump to conclusions on the BOGOF offer that you think that these parents are getting.

Perhaps you should have thought more carefully about this thread before posting and directed your anger at the woman who you claim is a benefit thief and raking it in etc

Her situation is probably very different to the familys of the other sets of twins

JuK · 08/01/2009 10:00

YABU. I think you're lumping entirely seperate issues together (benefit fraud, you being unable to afford the trip, parents of twins paying £350) and coming out with an unreasonable conclusion.

Even if the twins' parents had to pay £700, you would still be unable to afford the £350 for your DS, so I fail to see how that's relevant to your argument. They're NOT going to reduce the price of the trip to 50% off for everyone, because that's not what the trip costs. They're just trying to ensure than every child has the maximum opportunity to go on the trip, whilst covering their costs as best they can.

cory · 08/01/2009 10:16

I would be very happy if our school subsidised twins. As a mother of single children I have come off lightly financially. I chose to have two children because we could afford it- a mother of twins won't have made a choice to have them.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 10:30

Ok so let me put it another way. You have 2 children in DIFFERENT years in school, both years are going on the same school trip would you pay for both children?

OP posts:
frogwatcher · 08/01/2009 10:49

YANBU. What about those people who have two, three, even four or more children - any no. of which may not have been planned (my midwife had a fourth child after being sterilised!!!). Should they be treated like the twins - i.e. the parent didnt choose to have them and therefore they should go free. How do you decide. I am with the equal for all side of the debate - each child should pay unless there is genuine hardship which is then open to all. Its no less expensive having children in different years doing trips, visits etc to having twins. The costs even out.

Ingles2 · 08/01/2009 10:59

the schools voluntary/hardship fund will be paying for the 2nd twin. It won't be subsidized by the other parents.

JuK · 08/01/2009 11:01

TLES, are there 6 or more children in that situation on this trip? If there are, then YANBU about that.

However, that wasn't your original point; your OP said that you felt you should only be paying £175 for your DS. That's entirely different, IMHO.

kiddiz · 08/01/2009 11:01

I think that if the twin's families have had the cost subsidised due to genuine hardship then that is fair. I can't quite understand why there seems to be an assumption that being the parents of twins equals being poor. I know only one set of twins and their family is very far from poor and in no way in need of financial assistance to pay for school trips. I'm sure there are families with twins who do struggle financially but there are many families without twins who struggle financially too. What some appear to be saying is that if a child is fortunate enough to be one of twins they should be entitled to a half price trip simply because they are a twin but if the child is one of two different aged children in a family (who also may have two trips to pay for even if not the same trip)they are not even if their family is no better off. Just as a child didn't choose to be one of twins neither did a child choose to have siblings. If a school has funds available to subsidise a school trip then that should be allocated based on financial need ...if that financial need is caused by having two children to pay for then fair enough but the financial need of non twins should receive the same consideration.

bellabelly · 08/01/2009 11:03

frogwatcher - I can understand why you might think that it's the same but I can assure you that it isn't. Parents of twins have to buy pretty much double of everything, right from the time they are babies. It's really hard I think for people who haven't got twins/triplets themselves to understand the financial impact.

Notbig · 08/01/2009 11:03

my husbands a teacher and if he came one night & told me he was leaving me with 2 kids for 5 days & paying £350 for doing so i would tell him where to go. I agree u shouldnt have to subsidise the twins the school should if the parents cant afford to pay. I guess although i dont have twins there will be times when both my kids are doing school trips at the same time. and and in

dashboardconfessionals · 08/01/2009 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MillyR · 08/01/2009 11:08

Ladyevenstar, I was just wondering if all twins were definitely getting this discount? Could it be that the other twins are paying £700 and it is only the benefits cheat woman who is getting this discount because she applied for hardship?

Unless the school has a specific twins fund, I would have thought it likely that they work out reductions based on individual cases. After all, some twins' families will be struggling while others are not struggling as much as you. Do you know what the other parents of the kids in this class think about it?

Either way, I still think you shouldn't send him because it is overpriced, and he'll have a much better time on a trip organised by you for £350. There will be far better school trips to go on when he gets to secondary school anyway.

dashboardconfessionals · 08/01/2009 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Notbig · 08/01/2009 11:09

Why dont you just ask school for break down of costs as you think it seems quite high? I dont think you should have to subsidise other children but if they are funded from school funds then i guess its fair enough. Lifes not fair and never will be. I always feel for those who have twins but still only get single maternity/paternity benefits. Not fair either!

Swipe left for the next trending thread