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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take dd to town tomorrow for new shoes, despite being on the sick?

133 replies

mosschops30 · 04/01/2009 21:57

I dont think I am although I think my boss will think differently if anyone sees me.

I threw out dd's shoes before xmas, have beem ill for over a week and been off work, my boss phoned me today asking when I was 'planning' on going back despite me phoning on friday to say I wouldnt be in all weekend, anyway dd is back in school on Tuesday and has no other shoes she can wear.

So AIBU??

OP posts:
moondog · 04/01/2009 21:58

Yes
If you worked for me I'd be furious.

SlartyBartFast · 04/01/2009 21:58

you going via M & S

Bluestocking · 04/01/2009 21:59

You know perfectly well you are being unreasonable, and if you worked for me you would be in for a very unpleasant ten minute interview on your return to work.

KatieMorag · 04/01/2009 22:00

why dont you sent her in other footwear and with a note if necessary?

not worth risking your job over

Mimia · 04/01/2009 22:03

Hmm, depends what you were off with. If it was flu or similar then YABU. If it was back injury or similar then YmayNBU, as I think you are a nurse mosschops is that right? In that case going into town is managable when lugging patients isn't.

PrammieMammy · 04/01/2009 22:04

Surely you can't be expected to stop doing the things you need to do just because you are unwell?
I fractured my ankle a few months ago, but i still had to do the shopping, and get my christmas shopping in ect..
I even popped into my work on my way back from the hospital once..

Original poster
mosschops30 · 04/01/2009 22:05

My opinion exactly mimia. I am coming to the end of my flu bug, have had it for 8 days now.
I am well enough to pop to Asda and take my kids for food, I am not well enough to work a 12 hour night shift that is both physically and mentally draining and where there are vulnerable patients most of whom are on vetilators.

So am I still BU?

OP posts:
mrsjammilovessantababy · 04/01/2009 22:07

This reply has been deleted

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mrsjammilovessantababy · 04/01/2009 22:07

This reply has been deleted

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Mimia · 04/01/2009 22:10

I'm a nurse too so I think YANBU actually, because I work regular nights and you need to be 100% to do them. If most of your patients are on ventilators then its not unreasonable to stay off work until you are absolutely sure you are better as you had flu. Even if your boss saw you I think you could justify it actually.

ravenAK · 04/01/2009 22:11

I think YANBU, on the whole.

I would probably be staggering in to work if I felt well enough to leave the house, but obv. not if you are infectious to vulnerable patients...

slackrunner · 04/01/2009 22:12

I don't think you're BU, but I still wouldn't risk my job over it.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 04/01/2009 22:13

I would deffo had gone into work if I still worked in an office because the chances of me killing someone would be pretty slim, plus I could sit down for most of the day and drink as many lemsips as I liked.
On the unit, you have a break when youre told, not always regular, no drinks or food outside of breaktime.
Its not an easy job to do when youre under the weather

OP posts:
Original poster
mosschops30 · 04/01/2009 22:14

BTW I am going in on tuesday, does that help

OP posts:
VinegarTits · 04/01/2009 22:18

YANBU, if going into work ill will put people at risk then you shouldnt return until you are fully recovered, but if you still have to go out shopping for shoes, then needs must.

Lazycow · 04/01/2009 22:19

I think it is completely reasonable given what you have explained about your job. I would nonetheless probably go shopping somewhere miles away

It is obvious that someone could be well enough for a a short shopping trip for essentials but not for a 12 hour nursing shift looking after vulnerable people. I was off work for 2 weeks with a broken collar bone once. I couldn't drive or travel in the rush hour (on doctor's advice) so stayed home but I still went out and did basic chores/shopping etc.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 04/01/2009 22:31

Hmm maybe I could take dd to bristol, but then if someone from work happened to be shopping there it would look more suss than me saying 'well I had to pop into town for half hour to get bloody kids shoes'

OP posts:
Lazycow · 04/01/2009 22:43

True Mosschops I didn't think of that.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 04/01/2009 22:44

See I am a born liar

OP posts:
Lazycow · 04/01/2009 22:50

Can you not phone your boss on Monday morning and say something like. "I'm feeling a lot better but I'm still not 100% and wouldn't like to pass anything on to one of the patients so I think I should stay home today just to be sure. I'll be in tomorrow" That way he/she knows you are feeling better but not 100% so if you are seen out that ios no problem. Quite often bosses just want to know WHEN you will be back so they can plan.

I think you are being reasonable so see no reason not to be honest about it. Then again I've generally had very reasonable bosses in all my jobs, I appreciate not all of them are.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 04/01/2009 22:53

Yes she is NOT reasonable (hence her phoning me at home on Sunday morning despite me already telling them I wouldnt be working my night shifts this weekend).
I am not rostered to work tomorrow, I have a study day tuesday which I told her I would attend if I felt well enough, then back to work on wednesday if I managed the study day ok.

REally should I phone? She'd probably say 'oh good you can cover so and so's sickness and work tonight then'

OP posts:
ravenAK · 04/01/2009 22:55

If you aren't rostered tomorrow, no problem - go shopping with a clear conscience surely!

& attend study day as planned, then back on Wed.

RipVanTwinkle · 04/01/2009 22:56

I would feel guilty and go somewhere I wouldn't be spotted. However, I don't think I, or you, should feel guilty.

Any boss worthy of the name should realise that going briefly into town on a specific errand, and doing a full days work are two entirely different things. Quite often it is the former that wipes you out so much that you realise you are not ready to go back to work. Thus saving you, and the boss, another week off when you completely burn yourself out by returning too early.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 04/01/2009 22:58

RVT there isnt really anywhere I can go that will guarantee not being seen.
dd is getting shoes and tights and thats it

OP posts:
nooka · 04/01/2009 23:00

I'd watch out for potential disciplinary management if you do this. If you have a flu like bug you should be concentrating on getting better, not going off shopping. I can see your point about being infectious, and that your job is physically demanding, but presumably if you are off for eight days then you have a doctor's note, letting you know when you can go back to work? I'm not sure why you think it was unfair for your boss to be ringing and asking when you thought you would be back at work, as they will have had to arrange for cover presumably? It is very unhelpful when people call in sick and don't tell you when they think they will be back. You don't want to bug them, but in the meantime you have to put in place contingency plans. The NHS has amongst the best sick leave provisions, and unfortunately people do frequently take the piss - I'm not suggesting you are, but it is one of the reasons why sick leave is now closely monitored.