To take dd to town tomorrow for new shoes, despite being on the sick?

[mosschops30]

I dont think I am although I think my boss will think differently if anyone sees me.

I threw out dd's shoes before xmas, have beem ill for over a week and been off work, my boss phoned me today asking when I was 'planning' on going back despite me phoning on friday to say I wouldnt be in all weekend, anyway dd is back in school on Tuesday and has no other shoes she can wear.

So AIBU??

Step away from the handbags, ladies, repeat, step away from the handbags.

Thanks for the permission graciously bestowed there Mossy but I'll post where I like thanks all the same.

I swear, you lot need to develop some sort of parallel forum where all you do is agree with each other.

BTW - you have my sympathy I had a nasty bug for nearly 2 weeks and I would have done anything to get up and do anything including clean the toilet, take the rubbish out etc.

Yeah but there are ways and ways of disagreeing Moondog.

moondog - being charming as usual I see.

And tbh anyone who posts in AIBU actually DOES want everyone to agree with them (no offence Mossy!)

Follow Boff......

Who exactly is "you lot" in that statement Moondog? I happen to think that some paranoid & insecure "managers" have been tarring the OP with the same brush of dishonesty that they imagine to be aflicting their own unhappy employees. Therefore I'm sticking up for her - if I was her I'd be peed off as well.

actually the whole point of AIBU is that you get a mixture of un-biased replies on which to base a decision.
Many times ive come away from a thread thinking 'ah yes AIBU' and there are times when you think 'ah all mnetters talk shite'

what I object to is people who use words like 'lying' and 'skiving' and 'excellent NHS sickness policies'. When none of these are true

Mosschops - I do think that "unbiased" replies are increasingly elusive on this site, be it AIBU or anywhere else!

I only post there when I want people to say "oh my god, out of order, will get Jeremy Kyle on the case!" The rest of the time I just don't post! .

Lol thats MN for you

Re the notice, I meant purely that when you are unwell it is your responsibility to let your manager know when you expect to be better. Not that this should be set in stone of course, just that if you are having to ring up everyone who was scheduled to work with that person and you have no idea when they will be back it can be very difficult to manage workloads.

I see that in fact mosschops did this - apologies I missed your middle post there. If you had already explained how you were going to manage the next few days then yes it was completely unreasonable of your boss to then ring you.

It isn't NHS policy to sanction people for having more than two episodes of sick leave in a year, although that might be what your trust is doing to try and reduce costs. I agree it is not a sensible way to try and manage sickness - I assume they are trying to cut costs. Evidence generally suggests that high levels of sickness for either an organisation or department suggests either poor management or poor morale, so there are much better ways to try and reduce sickness, starting with looking at where the sickness is arising.

In fact the NHS has very generous sick leave provision. Not many organisations pay full pay for six months, and then half pay for the next six (I think this is after 2 years of employment). Many many people veer to far on the side of coming into work when they haven't recovered enough, or when they are coming down with something, and I have sent staff home on more than one occasion. However there are also people who really do take the piss, take sick leave when they have run out of holiday, or have some event they want to go to, or haven't organised their home life well, or have missed a deadline, and I am afraid that it is often painfully obvious. I am not saying that mosschops is in this category, just that I would be very wary about being seen going shopping when you have called in sick. But in any case as she is not rostered to work I am really confused as to why she thinks it will be an issue to treat tomorrow as a day off, because it is her day off if she is not due to work, so whether or not she is feeling unwell is surely irrelevant?

RVT if you mean me, then I am neither paranoid nor insecure . Managing people was the hardest part of my last job, and there is always more to learn. There have certainly been situations when I have looked back and thought about better ways to manage a situation, as I hope do all managers. Part of my job is about dealing with dysfunctional teams and situations where things have gone wrong (and often poor management is at the heart of these situations) and helping teams to think about how to improve things, and implement improvement plans. I have also written or provided advice on many policies to support staff and manage situations safely, plus I've been part of inspection teams looking at HR systems and working dynamics in different trusts. There is always something to learn and improve.

However I have also been part of investigations where people have behaved very badly, and I've managed some very difficult individuals. I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the world, and I'm glad my next job has no line management, but when I left my last job my team were very sad, and I had lots of positive comments about my management style.

The NHS does have good sick leave policies, but some trusts do have big problems in this area, and some managers implement policies badly. The key issue is how much pressure a unit is under. I am lucky in that my department is not critical, so sick leave can be managed - it just creates pressure for other members of the team. If on the other hand you manage a unit where staffing is already very thin, and demands are constant, then having any member of staff away is a big problem, especially where there are freezes on hiring temporary staff. There is obviously a balance in managing this. I would prefer that anyone ill gets properly better before returning to work, because if they don't chances are they will go off sick again shortly. The issue with spreading illness is more about starting sick leave in good time rather than when you return.

mosschops - glad you are feeling better.

Don't know your personal circumstances, but couldn't someone else (dh/dp or other family/friends) take dd to town to buy the shoes? Or what if she simply had to wait a day or two for the shoes? Wouldn't it be better for dd to wear whatever has been on her feet over the holidays a few days longer than to risk putting your job/work relationships on the line?

Agree that it won't look good if someone sees you shopping and reports back to your boss...

YANBU but if you would rather not take the risk of going out I would do the following:

Send child to school in plimsolls (I am presuming your daugher has some for PE), if not even slippers.

Send in wellies or similar for outdoor play.

I had to do this when my son went out to play and lost a shoe (don't ask me how, it is a mystery) and there was no possible way of getting shoes in time for school the next day.

Explain to the school that you were ill and could not replace old schools which fell apart and you will get new shoes ASAP. Schools are generally more understanding than bosses.

You could maybe even order replacements online and get express delivery to a neighbour.

I would be interested to know how old your children are? dd at nearly 13 would rather die than go into school in slippers or plimsols (and no only trainers for games no plimsols)

dh is working, as are all my friends, so thats a no go either

I am still unsure as to what to do, I may take dd to a more local new look where I can just park outside and send her in rather than go into town.
No doubt she will sulk about this, but Im sure I'll cope with that

mosschops I don't think yabu at all. It sounds like its your day off anyway so go ahead and do it.

I really don't buy in to the old adage that being off sick means you are unable to step out the house. Istill have to take dc's to school and buy food for them when unwell.

It doesn't mean I am well enough to go to work all night and take charge of a 19 bed psychiatric ward. When I go to work my managers expect me to be fit to do that, there is no option to go home if I feel unwell in the night, I have to be fit for work fullstop.

make sure you are looking DREADFUL and wear a tracksuit and no make-up and are snivelling into a tissue

then go

given the nature of the job and that today isn't a rostered day anyway then yanbu.

Mosschops YANBU, you boss on the other hand is BU.

She sounds like a nightmare like my ex boss who was auite frankly a bully.

There is an inherent culture of bullying wi thin the NHS and I'll not be dissuaded otherwise, staff nurses are particularly vulnerable and also junior management.

When I was a sister on a secure unit I left to go off sick because of bullying 7.5 stone in weight with panic attacks and severe insomnia afer being co-erced and bullied into coming in early, working late, covering nights and having my social life monitored (was not "allowed" to be friend with unqualified staff as I was part of the "ward management team" and was frowned upon).

Thankfully where I work now the personnel aren't as toxic in fact they're all very nice but still don't have a clue how to support and treat their staff. Afetr my mc in Sept and simultaneously starting an MSc there's been no "phased return to work" no let up in the number of difficult referrals I have to take on (despite having to see x2 intensive CBT cases a week as well as lots of chaotic self-harmers). However one of the secretaries was off due to the stres of moving buildings and she's been offered reduced hours/duties all sorts .

NHS management is full of nepotism and intimidation and it stinks, I'm afraid.

Sorry rant over !!