to not want my 17 yr old son going out with a woman of 29 with 2 children

[daftpunk]

i know he's going to start wanting relationships with women, but i expected him to bring home a 16 yr old still into high school musical or something....but he's fallen in love with a woman only 6 years younger than me....she probably knows more about life than i do?

i have to stop this...

help me.

hair remover is the way to go.

what will really piss you off - is when you meet her and she is lovely grrr

take her out - get pissed. might piss off your son

Would you feel differently about the relationship if she didn't have children?

i would feel better if she didn't have children..

My BIL is 20yrs younger than his wife. Met just a little older than your son. She also had 2 kids to previous marriages. 9yrs on, they have a DD together and are still married. It can work out quite happily.

kerrymum...where have you been?

lol @ all too jeremy kyle

i'll bet you a pint its all over by spring

speaking of pints..theres one with my name on it somewhere..laters

I totally sympathise but please, please do be careful. I had a an ex-boyfriend who had lost his brother completely when his mother issued an ultimatum in exactly the same circumstances as you are in now. He chose his older girlfriend wiht children, left his family and didn't even go to his dad's funeral. It was so, so sad. He ended up marrying the girl too (teh family actually hired a private detective to find out where he was!) so it was all such a waste.

good luck with it km,

brownsuga, wrapstar, thank you...it's a difficult one isn't it..

harleyd...have one for me!

Whoa....marriage, adoption....slow down.....easy tiger

Maybe she has absolutely no intention of marriage or of someone adopting her children.

Your son is living the teenage guys dream - sleeping being with an 'older' woman, woo-hoo, how taboo. I bet he is bragging to his mates, being back slapped in a manly fashion and acting all mature and such. Let him have his fun

I have a friend who met her husband when she was 17 and he was 29. They got married when she was 24. They have been together now for 25 years, happily married for 18 of them. They have an equal, loving relationship, they've grown and developed together. Age gaps, even when one of the parties is v. young, aren't always the terrible disaster we think they are.

Am astonished by some of the narrow minded MIL-type posts on this thread. Take her aside and have a word in her ear? Are you insane? ????

Mostly these things fizzle out. Sometimes they don't. Either way, you already know there's nowt you can do about it without looking like a loon. Which you've obviously decided not to do.

I do sympathise, but I have to say I was 17 when I met, and then married, DH, he was 30. There has never been anything "ewwww" or "nasty" about it, we met, we fell in love, we've just celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary, I am pregnant with our 3rd son, it isn't at all life ending/ruining, for either of us.

The truth is, your son's relationship is unlikely to last, just because a lot of relationships with larger age gaps don't.

If you push him to choose, he will choose her.

I agree completely with custardo's way of handling things, way back, page one I think. The two pronged approach of talking to them both individually...

I met a 17 yr old when I was 26.He was working in a similar industry him at the very first rung and me further on.For him it was probably sexual and also I had a lovely flat and money etc.For me he was gorgeous fun thought I was amazing and a bit of an ego boost tbh.When we met I had no idea he was 17 as he was a friend of my brother who is only 2 yrs younger than me so i assumed he was in his 20s.It suited both of us at the time and just fizzled out evebtually with no acrimony or tears.It won't last but at the end of the day you can't stop him its his life.

YABU. When my friend had just turned 18 he started seeing a woman 11 years his senior who had 3 children. They were 2, 5 and 8 I think. The woman said she was only seeing him as a casual thing as she had very recently split up with her husband. 4 years later they have a 7 month old baby girl and are getting married in May.

"she knows how to do things no 17 year old does..."

Yeah, like change nappies, give birth, breastfeed....

kerrymum..i have just choked on my apple!

What's your son's opinion on the age gap? If he thought she was younger than she actually is it must have been a bit of a curve ball for him when he found out? I'm 29 with 2 dc's and there is NO WAY ON EARTH I could pull a 17 year old, but tbh I really wouldn't want to either. I don't understand that crappy music they all listen to

YANBU But I am not sure what you can do about it have a word with the woman maybe.

My friend when she was 15 was going out with my other friends Dad he was 45 My other friend was not pleased at all and 9 years on they are still together even threw her mum tried everything to end there relationship

On no account have a word with the woman! Leave well alone if you want it to fizzle out. My brother met someone 16 yrs older than him with 2 children when he was in his early 20's. My mother handled it badly and they married-they are still together now but my brother isn't too happy now that he is in his 40's and regrets missing his youth and never having DCs. If my mother had had her in and made a friend of her, I think it might have fizzled out.