to not want my 17 yr old son going out with a woman of 29 with 2 children

[daftpunk]

i know he's going to start wanting relationships with women, but i expected him to bring home a 16 yr old still into high school musical or something....but he's fallen in love with a woman only 6 years younger than me....she probably knows more about life than i do?

i have to stop this...

help me.

I have to go against the grain and say YAB massively U. It's his life, his choice of partner, his lessons to learn. You can't go through live not doing things 'because Mummy told me not no' - you have to make your own mistakes and learn from them, else you're not your own person, you're just the person your parents wanted you to be.

Maybe he just likes MILFs. If he was seeing another man would you also be thinking "I have to stop this, please help me"? - because I can gurantee you wouldn't be able to! If he's old enough to be having sex he's old enough to understand who he is attracted to.

You are his MOTHER, not his pimp. For goodness sake. Get a grip.

In the UK, the age of sexual consent for women has been set at 16 since 1885, when campaigners fought to raise it from 13 to prevent child prostitution.

But other than that, feel for you DaftPunk.

age of consent

(That should be "his life" and "Mummy told me not to", btw).

gagamama - i think daftpunk is just concerned about her son, 'acting like his pimp' i don't think she is one who needs to get a grip here.

Concerned is understandable, but "I have to stop this" doesn't imply mere concern, it implies intervention.

Sorry if that sounds harsh. Opinion was asked. Opinion was shared.

"sexual offences bill for GM www.parliament.uk/commons/lib/research/rp99/rp99-004.pdf"

It's a bill, not an act.

Is there any evidence that this woman has been in a position of trust?

I know the ages are vastly different, but when I met my now dh I was married, 3 children and 36 to his 25. His parents were always gracious and welcoming to me and the children.

On our wedding day 4 years ago his mum gave him a letter sayign how worried she was at the begining but anyone looking at us now could see how in love and happy we were.

I haven't read the thread but my advice would be to let it run its course and be as nice to her and her children as you can be. If this lasts (and it's very unlikely that it will), you will have done the right thing by not making an enemy of her and by not alienating your son.

Good Luck

25 is a lot different to 17 tho

I am positive it isn't illegal unless she was his teacher etc.
I agree , to a certain extent with gagamama, except that it is difficult getting a grip when someone you love wants to make what you think a massive mistake.
I still think that the best option is to see a lot of the woman and bore for England on motherhood topics.

I have just seen your link Poins and I was right-this woman isn't in a position of trust. Whether it is illegal or not hardly matters, if you throw them together it won't be long until he is 18 anyway. Is he still at school? Is he planning on university?

thank you all for being so helpful...i really do appreciate it...(i have to go and pick up my little one up from school now...)

i wont interfere...i will step back and let it run it's course... i know he's growing up and i have to let him go.

dp x

Gagamamma, do you have a daugther? If so, would you be happy for her to have a relationship with a man of nearly 30 at 17?

Thought not.

When I was 17 I was dating a man who was 31. My parents never read me the riot act about it and if they had done I'd probably have been stupid enough to leave home and move in with him. As it was I saw the light and dumped him when I went to uni. I'm sure if you play it cool things will go the same with your DS. Definetly remind him about condoms even if she says she's on the pill.

I'm a lot older than my DP but he's NOT 17!!! I truly believe that it depends on the age of the younger person, male or female. 25 and 17 is a massive difference, but it's actually a closer age-gap than my own, IYSWIM.

I do know a male who, at 17, got involved with a 29 year old with 3 DCs. They were very happy initially (and were together for about 3 years) but then he kind of morphed into a live-in babysitter / addition to her DCs. She'd be out every night literally p*ssing her money (benefits)up the wall while he worked all the hours god sent and tried to hold down a college course too. He soon realised what a mess of a situation he was in and walked away. It totally screwed with his head and he was left completely bereft. However, his parents were there for support when it turned bad. That's what you'll have to do with your DS. Let him live it now, if it all goes tits up, be there for him then.

YANBU, but as pointed out there's nowt you can do about it.

can't imagine why a 29-year-old woman would want sex with a 17-year-old, though. just strikes me as nasty and skanky on her part.

yuk.

My nephew got into a relationship like this with a woman at work when he was only a little bit older than 17 - I can't remember exactly when it started or what the age gap is. Anyway he is now 27, they are married, his stepchildren are 15 & 10/11 (not sure), they have a joint child (iyswim) aged 2, and they are very happy

Mind you my own initial reaction would be exactly the same as yours (but it is his life & you can't stop him).

or a 29-year-old man with a 17-year-old girl for that matter.

eeewww.

"it is illegal for a man over 21 to have sex with a girl under 18"

can't wait for georgimama to come up with her citation

It personally wouldn't bother me, and can't see what harm it can do.

I am a 29 year old woman I wouldn't find a 17 year old sexually attractive at all, but if my 17 year old came home and introduced me to his girlfriend, her age wouldn't worry me at all.

If the biggest worry I have about my son when he is 17 is the age of his girlfriend I will be very lucky.