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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my 17 yr old son going out with a woman of 29 with 2 children

130 replies

daftpunk · 19/12/2008 10:07

i know he's going to start wanting relationships with women, but i expected him to bring home a 16 yr old still into high school musical or something....but he's fallen in love with a woman only 6 years younger than me....she probably knows more about life than i do?

i have to stop this...

help me.

OP posts:
Original poster
daftpunk · 19/12/2008 10:43

he's 6ft and could pass for 20ish i guess...maybe he's told her he's older...but i don't think he would.

OP posts:
unavailable · 19/12/2008 10:44

Georgie - What do you mean "illegal" if girl is 17 and man 29? Age of consent is 16 for both genders

piscesmoon · 19/12/2008 10:45

Have I missed something-I thought 29yr old man and 17yr old girl was completely legal-I didn't think there was a double standard for boys and girls.

unavailable · 19/12/2008 10:45

Daftpunk. I would try to make sure she knows he is only 17. Hopefully, it would put her off.

choccyp1g · 19/12/2008 10:47

Don't despair, I seem to remember a similar situation where the man went on to be Prime Minister. Then one day years later it was all over the papers (She said "he was a nice lad, but of course it didn't last") and everyone lived happily ever after.

georgimama · 19/12/2008 10:49

No the age of consent is not 16 (not for every eventuality anyway), it is illegal for a man over 21 to have sex with a girl under 18.

unavailable · 19/12/2008 10:50

Where? Not in UK.

Dropdeadfred · 19/12/2008 10:53

georgimama??? where have you got that info from?

UnfortunatelyMe · 19/12/2008 10:55

Bloody Hell (I am 29 with 2 kids and I really dont see what attraction there would be in a 17 year old BOY) Id want to lock him up too.
You must really give him a good talking to about not getting her up the duff. He MUST use a condom.

piscesmoon · 19/12/2008 10:56

I have just googed that to find out and I don't see where you got it from georgimama. It would be illegal if she was in a position of authority over him as a teacher, scout leader etc but not otherwise.

spookycharlotte121 · 19/12/2008 10:56

Lol he will soon get bored, having a realationship with 2 kids in town is frustrating at the best of times and im the single mother, I hate to think how my previous bf must have felt.

The woman probs just wants to feel young again lol.

stillenacht · 19/12/2008 10:56

Woah - thats really scary. Thinking of you - hope it all works out ok.

Does she know he is 17? Has he told her the truth?

LobstersLass · 19/12/2008 10:57

georgimama that is incorrect.

Wizzcarol · 19/12/2008 10:57

This is awful for you, I know I'd hate it. My brother did this too when he was about 18 he went out with a woman who had daughters his own age. My mum hated it. Not much you can do about it though, just hope it is a phase.

spookycharlotte121 · 19/12/2008 10:57

Why would it be illegal it it were the other way round????

georgimama · 19/12/2008 10:58

No, it is definitely true. I just don't have access to the law books I need to give oyu the right citation here and now.

piscesmoon · 19/12/2008 10:58

You say that he thought she was 20 when they met and was surprised to find that she was 29, I would take every opportunity to make him realise her age-in a very subtle way.

spookycharlotte121 · 19/12/2008 10:59

Lol well i got with a guy when I was 17 and he was 26, I thought that it was ok becuase I was ober 16.

spookycharlotte121 · 19/12/2008 11:00

lol you could always make a joke about the fact the he could almost be dating you as she is closer in age to you than she is to him!

Original poster
daftpunk · 19/12/2008 11:01

i'm not sure what he's told her? obv if this realtionship looks like getting really serious then i'll meet her and find out more..

OP posts:
SixSpotBurNativity · 19/12/2008 11:01

I would worry in your shoes, I really would, but I agree with others on this thread that the more of a big deal you make of it, the more you drive him into her arms!

I had a relationship with a guy of 24 (no kids though) when I was 15 - my parents were remarkably cool about it, and he ditched me after a few months because I was just too immature (not surprisingly).

ilovelovemydog · 19/12/2008 11:03

how is a 17 year old girl with a 29 year old man illegal? Thought age of consent is 16?

CharleeInPantoPaperChains · 19/12/2008 11:05

My first boyfriend is now 22 and he is dating a 47 yr old woman! Icky if you ask me.

No advise to add tbh everyone has already said it, all you can do is respect he is his own person and be there when it all goes tits up.

Original poster
daftpunk · 19/12/2008 11:05

well my dh has taken the view that she'll probably be good for him and if they love each other to wish them well...

i wish i could....but i can't.

OP posts:
VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly · 19/12/2008 11:05

Make him aware of how old she is (too him, obviously she not old) say things like

'oh i wonder if she went to my school, maybe she knows teacher suchabody'

If he starts to feel like she is around your age, it might put him off