TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor ·
19/12/2008 09:31
'Tis a long story, bear with me.
DP's Grandfather went into a residential home earlier this year. This is his first xmas there. He had a few falls and his wife left him where he fell, then went a bit strange making horrible comments etc to him so everyone is worried about them being together and he hasn't seen her in 6 months. He desperately wants to see her, as she does him. DP's father won't allow it which I think is wrong as they are grown adults, if someone interfered in mine and DP's relationship like that I'd be fuming. So far I have kept my nose out, not my business.
It was accepted that DP's Dad would bring him home to their house for Xmas day but now this isn't happening. It's perfectly understandable as MiL's parents always go there, one is in a wheelchair and the other has just had a hip operation so MiL is going to have her hands full as is.
MiL offered many times before Grandad went into the home for him to live with them, she was going to convert the dining room or get a stair lift and give him the large bedroom upstairs. FiL is retired so could easily help him and they were offered home help. FiL vetoed this.
DP and I have sat back and,a s I said, kept out of it but I don't think I can any longer. We are grown adults and DP's brother would help us if need be. We want to bring Grandad to ours for a couple of hours xmas day, to have dinner and spend some time with family.
FiL doesn't want us to. MiL spoke to DP last night and told him she'd 'sort it' by which I gather to mean 'Don't make a fuss' and I'm pretty sure nothing will be done.
There are only 6 days left til Xmas, we don't have the time to sit back and wait afaic. It's not like we can just turn up on xmas day and bring him home, we need to talk to him beforehand and ask him if he wants to come. We'll be going to see him Sunday so I think that would eb the best time to ask. Before we ask though I need to know it's feasible and that the staff can be prepared for him to come so as I see it today is the day I need to speak to the home.
AIBU to just ignore DP's parents and do it? DP wants him home but finds it hard to say No to his mum, who always listens to his lazy Dad.