I'm due to give birth next week and DH hasn't booked us a hotel room...

[MaryBeWaiting]

... its bound to be packed, after all, the world and his wife'll be there. What happens if we "just turn up" and there's nowhere to stay? Where does he think I'm going to give birth, in a stable?

Starbear, DH has a good job, he'll support us. Don't worry about your taxes - Herod'll soon be round collecting!

I might have been in Tesco last week. I have a weakness for the Finest Sticky Toffee pudding. How rude of you to point out my funny light. I just have a bit of hormone imbalance. Dr says it is because i eat too much Readybrek, but what do the quacks know eh?

Anyway, I better get some sleep - the baby hasn't stopped kicking - do you reckon he'll grow up to be a footballer?

Mary, don't you worry, I've been about keeping an eye on you and your feckless new DH. The boss did send me on a bit of trip last week to do a presentation to some farm operatives. But other than that I've been keeping my eye on the ball.

You mean the beatch has been totally lying to everyone about who the father is? God only knows who it could be then!

HI Mary,

Tell you what, don't worry about trying to get a room. Just pop in and see King Hreod, he's ever so nice and will see you accomodated in his luxurious palace. For free, if I know him! Especially if you mention that AA Gabriel said the baby would be a king as well! And his little daughter Salome will keep the baby amused with her joke disembodied head, she is a sweetie that one!

Yours,

B. El. Zebubb.

Mary, see lying hasn't got you anywhere. Have you told everyone that you've just put alot of weight on? Instead of the truth, that the baby is due this week, not in 3 months time.

Well as i am the Word, I insist on having the last one. Good Night everyone and God Bless!

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awesome!

Don't have your baby in the barn. You'll be closing doors after him all your life .

Can I suggest a book deal? I think it could be a best seller, worldwide.

What a fabtastic thread

One for classics me thinks [frgin]

I'm crying.

'faithbook', genius.

Have you chosen a name for your baby yet? I would recommend Barabbas.

I hope you are suitably humble to all those of us who didn't get picked and ended up being in the choir or a manky old shepherd with a tea towell on our heads - our Mums are devastated!!!

I've heard some rumours too. Some bloke in a white frock . Visiting the house when Joseph is at work. No smoke without fire they say...

BTW watch where you put the frankinsence and myrrh - stings like hell in the wrong place. Better off with sudocreme.

You should call him Allah. Maybe ask on the baby names thread first?

Barn conversions are very chic!

PMSL

Absolutely bloody brilliant!!

I hope you get that Bugaboo multi purpose baby slumber super duper manger system, complete with fresh straw.
I hear it has realistic animal noises too.