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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a party for 3 children is a step too far ?

400 replies

KatieDD · 17/12/2008 20:07

Am a bit peeved because my DD aged 4 is in a nice little group with three other girls and has today received an invite from all three to a joint party for all three of them.

Am seriously considering sending just a card.

OP posts:
lou031205 · 17/12/2008 21:52

I am staggered by this thread, tbh!

I firstly can't quite believe that you contacted the feeder nursery to ask for the class list, and then invited children your DD hadn't met to a party. Then seem upset that it hasn't led to a rash of invites.

And as for the original issue, your DD has been invited to the party of her 3 best friends, and you think this is a bad thing?

I really think you need to chill out.

My DD didn't have a party this year (3), she just had 3 friends to play, and they were offered cake when they arrived. And she still got presents from them. Not that it mattered. It was so much better for her to enjoy her friends than to be the subject of a big party.

Less is sometimes more. Presumably, these girls are friends with mostly the same people anyway. Why duplicate?

And I think you might want to revise your statement about FAQ's world being different to everyone elses. 160 posts almost exclusively saying that you are barking up the wrong tree here, I suspect that it is your world that is different.

I hope your DD enjoys the party.

Original poster
KatieDD · 17/12/2008 21:52

Well daftpunk, maybe that's the way forward, Jelly and Ice cream, musical bumps and then a piece of cake wrapped in kitchen roll to go home with.

OP posts:
chloemegjess · 17/12/2008 21:52

FGS! You sound like a snob. Sorry but all you are thinking about is how much money the parents have put in etc. All that matters is that their DC have a good birthday and enjoy there party. NOTHING ELSE! Not how much you spend on a gift, not how many children are there, not how much the party cost etc.

Get a grip and sort out your priorities.

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 17/12/2008 21:52

"And when you are 5 you do invite people just because they are in your class, "

ermmm no you don't - DS2's party that I mentioned was his 5th birthday party. I didn't see floods of tears in the playground - and on the moring of his party we bumped into a little boy in his class who DS's has known since the start of nursery - but wasn't invited to the party. Of course DS2 was very excited about his impending party and told this little boy all about it.

I didn't see his heart breaking either as they kicked the football around the park while his mum and I had a quick chat about other stuff.

VivaLaPotPourri · 17/12/2008 21:53

Be grateful for the invite - they don't owe you anything. You are perfectly entitled to do the same/not have a party/have a massive party. I think it's a good idea TBH.

beanieb · 17/12/2008 21:53

I think MorningPaper is obviously correct in her reply at the beginning

OhLITTLEFISHofBethlehem · 17/12/2008 21:53

Well if the parties aren't happening, then what are you getting so bloody het up about!

alfiemama · 17/12/2008 21:53

As you say though, the parties arnt happening, it isnt that they are and she isnt being invited, unfortunatley life is changing, FACT, well for most of us anyway, perhaps you are lucky and still able to afford to splash out £30 on presents.

piscesmoon · 17/12/2008 21:54

It seems an odd way of looking at it, when they are little it doesn't matter if they get left out-it isn't hurtful the way it is when you are 10 or 11yrs! I think the whole thing is skew whiff-small tea parties for 5yr olds would be better and whole class ones in year 6. It is no wonder they get disappointed if they expect to go to every party and are not invited. It is madness to get them into that expectation! Perhaps the credit crunch will put an end to it.

MadamAntlers · 17/12/2008 21:54

What a bizarre thread. Katie - you are spectacularly missing the point of birthday parties. It is not meant to be some sort of bean-counting venture. It's a party. For children. There will be plastic tat and there will be jelly in between the floorboards.

Stop spluttering into your campari, and loosen up.

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 17/12/2008 21:54

"maybe that's the way forward, Jelly and Ice cream, musical bumps and then a piece of cake wrapped in kitchen roll to go home with."

couldn't agree more- that's exactly what DS2's party was - and they had a fabulous time.

wheresthehamster · 17/12/2008 21:55

I hate being sucked into AIBU threads BUT - how could your dd possibly enjoy her own party where everyone was a stranger?

(Missed that littlefish but agree with you )

daftpunk · 17/12/2008 21:56

easy!

nite guadalupe
x

OhLITTLEFISHofBethlehem · 17/12/2008 21:56

KatieDD

"Well daftpunk, maybe that's the way forward, Jelly and Ice cream, musical bumps and then a piece of cake wrapped in kitchen roll to go home with. "

Actually, that sounds lovely. I don't know if you were being snidey to daftpunk or not, but that's the sort of party that many of us on Mumsnet have, through choice, for our children.

Original poster
KatieDD · 17/12/2008 21:57

I don't think she cared Hamster, was just delighted to be having a party after years of watching her sisters have one.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 17/12/2008 21:57

Well daftpunk, maybe that's the way forward, Jelly and Ice cream, musical bumps and then a piece of cake wrapped in kitchen roll to go home with

lol

you know, that just sounds like a nice children's party to me Katie, although I can hear you spitting as you type it...

alfiemama · 17/12/2008 21:59

"Oh mummy, it was awful, they had that awful jelly stuff, and dont get me started on the balloons"

sorry couldnt help meself.

morningpaper · 17/12/2008 21:59

I don't think she cared Hamster, was just delighted to be having a party after years of watching her sisters have one.

Why did you leave it four years before you held one for her?!?!?!?!

Original poster
KatieDD · 17/12/2008 22:00

No MP i'm not at all..
I do still feel it's all very one sided but my DD isn't going to miss out as a result but I think I might scale right back though seeing how others have.

OP posts:
Original poster
KatieDD · 17/12/2008 22:00

No MP i'm not at all..
I do still feel it's all very one sided but my DD isn't going to miss out as a result but I think I might scale right back though seeing how others have.

OP posts:
EachPeachPearMum · 17/12/2008 22:01

Can't quite get past the jelly and ice cream comment... your 5 year old does not like jelly and ice cream?
Possibly the snobbiest comment I've come across on mn, and I am somewhat snobbish myself tbh, about all sorts of things, but not about how much someone spends on a party, something which is for fun for a child!

You can't buy friends for your daughter

BexieID · 17/12/2008 22:01

I did recently pay £28 for a Dinosaur costume for a friends boys 3rd birthday. He didn't have a party, but i'd said i'd get a costume and I got let down on the one I originally bought for £12! It is a good quality costume and should last for a good while. And her new son should be able to use it too! I do buy pressies for Toms pals whether they have a party or not. I'm not loaded though. I've already decided on pressies for next year, just hope they are still in stock when I get paid on xmas eve!

beanieb · 17/12/2008 22:03

this thread is superb.

Original poster
KatieDD · 17/12/2008 22:03

Well she had a first birthday with her sisters and grandparents, she didn't comment much on that.
Her 2nd was again with sisters, cousins and grandparents, again no comments from her.
3rd Birthday, ah she was on holiday for that one.
Not sure what I missed/could have done better/differently, aren't the first three parties just kodak moments for the family ?

OP posts:
Original poster
KatieDD · 17/12/2008 22:03

Well she had a first birthday with her sisters and grandparents, she didn't comment much on that.
Her 2nd was again with sisters, cousins and grandparents, again no comments from her.
3rd Birthday, ah she was on holiday for that one.
Not sure what I missed/could have done better/differently, aren't the first three parties just kodak moments for the family ?

OP posts: