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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a party for 3 children is a step too far ?

400 replies

KatieDD · 17/12/2008 20:07

Am a bit peeved because my DD aged 4 is in a nice little group with three other girls and has today received an invite from all three to a joint party for all three of them.

Am seriously considering sending just a card.

OP posts:
wheresthehamster · 17/12/2008 22:29

Oooh spooky!

OhLITTLEFISHofBethlehem · 17/12/2008 22:30

KatieDD - you seem to be holding these three parents responsible for the lack of parties in the whole class. Presumably there are other children who will have parties later in the year, and hopefully, your dd will be invited.

Stop being so sour. These parents have made a decision which works well for them, and for their children.

To quote NCRedBreastedBirdy "It's not about you!"

eidsvold · 17/12/2008 22:30

totally unreasonable tbh. You think your child is being robbed of parties - cause no one is holding them and then she does get invited to a party but it is a joint party for 3 children - how rude.

Try explaining to your daughter - who is 6 1/2 and has only been to 3 birthday parties in her whole life - that just because everyone else from her class is invited - sorry she can't go because she happens to have special needs. Try wiping tears from your daughter's eyes as she sees invites being handed out to everyone in the class but her. Try explaining to your daughter that x didn't mean to be cruel when she got in your face and said - "I'm having a party and you can't come."

Then come on mumsnet and bitch about a joint party for three robbing your child of a party opportunity or how pissed off you are that you are putting on a huge party for your dd for her 5th and did a huge party for her 4th so she would have party opportunities.

ffs get over yourself.

This is totally about you and your preciousness than about your dd and her 'party opportunities'.

beanieb · 17/12/2008 22:31

Is it wrong that I really love the Mystical Fairies furniture? !

OhLITTLEFISHofBethlehem · 17/12/2008 22:32

Yes beanieb, it is .

alfiemama · 17/12/2008 22:33

Well said eidsvold. well said.

Katie, honestly now, you must be reading this and thinking, actually, yeah maybe they have a point, read the post by eidsvold and tell me you dont feel like a total ......

beanieb · 17/12/2008 22:34

bugger!

Also want to know what the PC Cake thread is

NCRedBreastedBirdy · 17/12/2008 22:35

Alfie - I have a horrible feeling she is reading the thread and thinking we are total ...

alfiemama · 17/12/2008 22:35

thats the sad thing Birdy

OhLITTLEFISHofBethlehem · 17/12/2008 22:36

Me too Beanie - can anyone link to it?

Oooh Katie - will there be three cakes or one at this joint party? Will it be ok as long as it's made with three times as many eggs as a normal cake?

prettybutterfly · 17/12/2008 22:36

It's the "husbands with cake their wives baked" one and it's class ... long though.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 17/12/2008 22:46

Katie - get a grip. Nuff said.

twitteringbirds · 17/12/2008 23:00

Very well said, Eidsvold.

OP, it's a shame that you've not taken in anything on this thread. I think you are misguided and missing opportunities to take joy in your third child's activities by comparing them with your older children's all the time. I imagine you with a face like a smacked arse, frowning at how dreadful it is that she hasn't been to a princess AND a ballerina party this year, like your other daughters had already by the age of 5. What a shame.

pooka · 17/12/2008 23:02

Is very very WRONG beanie!

I find going in the bluewater shop a bit like the sensory equivalent of going into Lush. In Lush you think you are going to pass out because of the stench of it. In MF, you feel like you're about to get a pink-induced migraine. Is tiny shop too so you keep knocking glittery frou-frou things off shelves if you're older than 6.

MadamDeathstarOverBethlehem · 17/12/2008 23:02

It is a lot better to have a few joint parties where everyone in a class is invited than to have a lot of small parties where the same children always go uninvited because they haven't fitted in with a group of friends yet.

Maybe the parents can't afford a big party in January, in the same way you can't afford three presents.

It's a party, that is all the guests will care about.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 17/12/2008 23:06

eidsvold that's awful

DS2 and DS3 are having a joint party soon. Your dd1 (in fact all your dd's are invited). I'll send them all an invitation after xmas.I know they won't be able to come, but they can have an invitation anyway and you can tell dd she's been invited.

Our parties are very inclusive - we always have kids with SN there - not just at ds1's, at ds2 and ds3's too....

BexieID · 17/12/2008 23:07

I do buy Toms pals a little something whether they have a party or not. If they have a party I add to what I got. Maybe I shouldn't next year, just get them a card instead.

I wouldn't spend any less on kids having a joint party though. I'd probably get them 3 identical gifts.

Original poster
KatieDD · 17/12/2008 23:22

By twitteringbirds - why would i take anything from a thread where people are suggesting my face is like a slapped arse ?

Madam, at no point have I suggested I can't afford 3 presents, am just not prepared to buy them tat for the sake of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
KatieDD · 17/12/2008 23:24

Well I'm sorry Bexie, I do not buy presents for other peoples kids unless it's a party, for a start they might feel obliged to buy something back and might not be in a position to.

OP posts:
prettybutterfly · 17/12/2008 23:25

What about the first 10 pages Katie, before the slapped arse comment?

Original poster
KatieDD · 17/12/2008 23:25

eidsvold, you're issues are awful and it's a shame your dd is going through that, I'm sure she's better behaved than plenty of other children I've witnessed at parties, but your problem/issues don't make mine any less valid.

OP posts:
Original poster
KatieDD · 17/12/2008 23:27

butterfly I still think I have a point, like it or not.
That's the great thing about mumsnet though I can get it off my chest here and then smile nicely and say we'd love to come, whilst thinking you tight arses

OP posts:
jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 17/12/2008 23:28

Is this really something you would call a problem? Honestly?

Either go (and buy 3 presents) or don't go. Then no need to buy 3 presents.

Easy. This doesn't have a to be over-dramatised into a problem

pooka · 17/12/2008 23:28

But who is forcing you to buy them "tat"? A good sticker book is less than a fiver. Other story books similar. A box of rackham style fairy or peter rabbit shrinkies would come in at about £7. And I can guarantee that if you bought NOTHING, it would not be commented upon (I wouldn't have commented and certainly wouldn't judge if no presents bought, because that wasn't the point of the party).

BexieID · 17/12/2008 23:36

I think I only bought things as Toms had parties, but it is madness to buy things for his pals that don't have parties. I have bought something for next doors little girls b/day at the weekend. I like to buy girlie things for a change .

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