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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take the mick out of male colleagues who bring in shared food that their WIVES have made

719 replies

morningpaper · 14/12/2008 22:34

this makes me both scornful and slightly depressed and I resort to extreme sarcasm

Only last week I was nibbling lemon cake from a colleagues WIFE.

What IS that ABOUT?

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
morningpaper · 15/12/2008 10:29

Hmmm I think for me it makes the MAN seem FEEBLE and A BIT PATHETIC TBH, rather than saying anything about the woman

I can't bear men that whiff of being looked after

it is THE PASTRY OF PATRIARCHY

OP posts:
Original poster
morningpaper · 15/12/2008 10:30

yes bloss I think the WOHM/SAHM thing is a red kipper

OP posts:
Original poster
morningpaper · 15/12/2008 10:31

Yes I would feel a bit about a man who needed his wife to proof read or rewrite his work

that would be a bit weird IMO unless he is dyslexic

OP posts:
Nighbynight · 15/12/2008 10:31

Its relevant because I dont have the time to faff around making cakes for my colleagues! (single mother, 4 children)

Chandon · 15/12/2008 10:31

MP, I can actually see where you´re coming from.

Yes, I am a SAHM, but I would not DREAM of making home made cakes for DH´´s colleagues.

I might consider it if he would mend things in the house, do a bit of gardening, get a driving license, mow the lawn etc. But as I do literally EVERYTHING, I think he knows beter than to ask me to bake him cakes !!!

But then again, I would not mind other wives baking cakes for their DH´´s colleagues. Just wouldn´´t do it myself.

(but yes, I guess I am a bit resentful...

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 15/12/2008 10:33

YABU. If you think it's so weird, why are you eating the cakes eh? Not so strong in your principles when there is cake involved are you? [sniggger] It's very rude to resort to extreme sarcasm when someone's offering you a slice of cake though.

Nighbynight · 15/12/2008 10:34

she admitted further down the thread that by coffee time her willpower was drained though.

I am unhealthily fascinated by this question now. Will not refuse the next slice of Austrian Torte that comes my way though.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 15/12/2008 10:36

Pah! Clearly she doesn't feel strongly enough about it then.

BucksFizz · 15/12/2008 10:36

Message deleted

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 15/12/2008 10:37

If I were asked to bake a cake for someone, I would. I like baking and I can bake. I can also put up a curtain pole, repaint a room, wallpaper and mow the lawn amongst other things.

nappyaddict · 15/12/2008 10:41

I wouldn't make a cake especially for my DP (if i had one) to take into work. But I like baking. Sometimes I make cake for no apparent reason. Then if there's some left over I give it to work people, neighbours whoever. If I had a DP no doubt I would send him to work with some.

NorkyButNice · 15/12/2008 10:41

I bake cakes at the weekend because I enjoy baking. Depending how many I've made, DH and I will split them up and take some into each office - I can assure you that I am neither down-trodden, nor tied to the kitchen sink.

As it happens, DH has never has to ask me to make a cake as I'm normally doing it anyway, but if he did ask, then as it long as it wasn't inconvenient, of course I'd do it, Just as he'd do something I'm not skilled at if I asked him to. What a strange OP.

belgo · 15/12/2008 10:42

I always make the cakes/pies for my dh's work things. Doesn't bother me. It's not because I am better at doing it, it's because I have more time then him.

scaryteacher · 15/12/2008 10:54

If I know that dh and his colleagues are having a really hard time at work and are pressurised out of their skulls, then I'll send in cake to cheer them up; especially as some of their families are 3 or 4 countries away, and getting back to see them can be a hassle.

I also used to bake cakes and take them into work when I taught, particularly when we were in the midst of the report season, or year 9 were being really bloody.

I have also proof read my db's MA dissertation, as I did my dh's - to correct the errors that you just don't see when you've been staring at it for hours on end; and as all intelligent people know - the spell checker doesn't check for context. After all MP - doesn't your editor correct your stuff? I spell better than my db and dh combined, and can phrase things academically, rather than using military terminology, so why not?

bloss · 15/12/2008 11:18

Message withdrawn

ForeverOptimistic · 15/12/2008 11:35

I can't see the problem. Dh has a colleague who brings in food prepared by his wife, I always thought it was quite sweet not something I would do although dh has taken in leftovers of cakes I have baked.

I do also proofread dh's reports and he has done the same for me in the past. We usually end up rewriting each others cv's as well.

I don't iron for dh as I am usless in that compartment but he irons for me.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 11:42

Morningpaper, what's your problem??
You sound seriously bitter because you can't be arsed to do nice stuff for your DH/DP.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 11:45

Meant to add, it's pathetic that an innocent 'seeking advice' thread has sparked a bitchfest. Sad, really.

ComeOVeneer · 15/12/2008 12:02

MP what exactly is wrong with looking after your dp/dh a bit? DH works until 9pm at the earliest, these days for the past 3 weeks he hasn't been home before 2am. SHould I not look after him, do his laundry, cook ,clean etc for him, should I leave a list of chores for him to do when he gets in whilst I am snoring away in bed? I don't bake for total starnagers I bake for dh's colleagues I have known for over a decade, who have come to my wedding, and I to theirs. DH doesn't ask me to do it, I do it because I enjoy it, and when they are pulling their hair out trying to meet a deadline at 1am a treat like a homemade cake is very welcome.

TBH I think people really are reading too much into this. If for one moment I though homemade goodies would have any influence over dh's job prospects I would be up there on a daily basis with a basket of fresh baked muffins!

Libraloveschristmas1975 · 15/12/2008 12:03

If this is a bitchfest it's a poor excuse for one on a site populated by women I am sure we could do better if we tried.

Notreallycutoutforthis · 15/12/2008 12:04

And just how often is an AIBU entry an 'innocent 'seeking advice''?

Gateau · 15/12/2008 12:06

MP, I wonder what your male colleagues think of you with your scornful remarks? I bet they think you're a right sour-puss!

Gateau · 15/12/2008 12:09

Libra, I mean the OP started a bitchfest.
Notreally: The original post that the OP is ridiculing as innocent.

Anna8888 · 15/12/2008 12:09

I think there is a huge difference between looking after your own DP/DH (I think that looking after one another is a totally essential part of any couple relationship) by doing laundry, cooking, cleaning or whatever other domestic chore/errand where you will get some kind of return in kind, and looking after your DP/DH's colleagues.

It would demean my DP's professional persona were I to send in home made cakes - he would look ridiculous.

Notreallycutoutforthis · 15/12/2008 12:10

Aah - comment withdrawn