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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take the mick out of male colleagues who bring in shared food that their WIVES have made

719 replies

morningpaper · 14/12/2008 22:34

this makes me both scornful and slightly depressed and I resort to extreme sarcasm

Only last week I was nibbling lemon cake from a colleagues WIFE.

What IS that ABOUT?

AIBU?

OP posts:
BucksFizz · 14/12/2008 23:08

Message deleted

Gorionine · 14/12/2008 23:11

I have baked things for Dh to share at work with collegues, I do not see what is wrong with that, why the sarcasm?

lilolilbethlehem · 14/12/2008 23:13

you are not a total dweeb (unless your DP is treating you like a door stop but I suspect not). Sounds to me like you are just someone doing a favour for their loved one. Anyone who can't understand this needs pity and support.

ComeOVeneer · 14/12/2008 23:14

Actually I am really quite surprised you started this thread after having seen the other one. It does seem uncharacteristically mean spirited.

lilolilbethlehem · 14/12/2008 23:16

I agree, didn't have MP down as being so nasty. Please come back to this thread MP....

TisTheSeasonToBeSolo · 14/12/2008 23:26

I used to bake(from scratch>>>> )bacon, egg and tomato flans for my exh to take to work to share with his colleagues in the 80's. It was a very small office of 3 staff and they'd put their order in because they were so scrummy!

Glad to pass on my vol au vent idea! been doing them for years and years! bloody gorgeous they are .

dizzyjingles · 14/12/2008 23:26

I do this a lot too for all the same reasons as ComeOVeneer (although not to similar standars )

I've to do the deserts for Christmas dinner this year and I've been practisting and sending stuff in with him

I also had to do the cakes for my aunts 60th birthday last weekend and was sending in all the trial runs

when the cakes stopped going in they thought we'd had a row

and I do't iron and he does more than his fair share of housework and looking after the kids and am certainly FAR from anykind of stepford wife

and by the way the main reason is that if I'm baking/ cooking I don't need to be doing fecking housework which I hate

MinesApint · 14/12/2008 23:29

Bit of an odd reaction mp...and the problem is?

QueenTinselShadow · 14/12/2008 23:32

This is a bit spitefull MP....

Tortington · 14/12/2008 23:42

uh -oh kinda get where you are coming from MP! but i care not to think that the self proclaimed domestic godesses really exist, and that rather, the wife works full time - and got cunnilingus last night and her rely was a nice thank=you cake.

beanieb · 14/12/2008 23:43

Oh - I have seen the other thread now!

dilemma456 · 15/12/2008 06:22

Message withdrawn

Dreyfus · 15/12/2008 06:59

I often make cakes for DG to take into the office. I love doing it and he would buy them from M and S. I get a happy hour in the kitchen, DH feels I did a nice thing for him and we save money.

I never thought there were people out there who would sneer at it - God, MN is depressing sometimes - I doubt 'feminism' was ever meant to mean one member of a couple can't ever willingly do a randomly supposed gender-stereotyped activity without one of the sisterhood pouring 'scorn and sarcasm' on it.

VivaLaPotPourri · 15/12/2008 07:06

Eh? Under normal non depressed circumstances I make DH sandwiches and iron his shirts. And sometimes if the builders are in he makes DS and I a packed lunch (no access to kitchen). I don't find it odd at all...

laweaselmys · 15/12/2008 07:10

I've made DP cookies to take in on his birthday before. I was feeling nice - and the poor boy cooks me dinner every single day, seems like the least I can do!

BouncingTinsel · 15/12/2008 07:11

I am at MorningPaper, doing one of the major MN no-nons - starting a thread about a thread.

I can only assume she was pissed as a fart when she did it as she is not normally this mean

BTW I make DH's sandwiches, he normally does the ironing but I've taken it over as I off sick from work. But I am a rubbish baker and so is her lol. So we wouldn't take a home made cake in we'd buy them!

I am going to attempt to make some cranberry and white chocolate shortbread to take in to ds's nursery this week.

ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 15/12/2008 07:19

From Dreyfus 'I doubt 'feminism' was ever meant to mean one member of a couple can't ever willingly do a randomly supposed gender-stereotyped activity without one of the sisterhood pouring 'scorn and sarcasm' on it.' HEAR HEAR!!!!

MP - you are being a grumpy old meanie!!! What is wrong with it? It's Christmas! Season of good will to all.

Nighbynight · 15/12/2008 08:02

Most of my colleagues do this.

Bienchen · 15/12/2008 08:05

MP - had a bad weekend?

Amapoleon · 15/12/2008 08:07

I thik she has burnt the mince pies and has popped round to Greggs!

Original poster
morningpaper · 15/12/2008 08:27

Goodness ME, what a lot of raw emotion about baked goods.

AND I WENT TO BED! I can't stay up all night in case you reply.

This is NOT a thread about a thread, it is a thread about the phenomena of Wifely-Baking. Just because another thread reminded me of it does not mean it was a thread-about-a-thread. I think you all know this but are trying to deflect my attention away from your floury pinnies.

SO back to the OP - I still don't get this. I I understand that one might bake a little treat for one's partner, but why on earth would you sufficiently care that Kevin from Accounts has a snack of tasty home-baked goodness (which takes two hours out of your day) to save your husband the 3 minutes that it takes to nip into Tescos and buy a snack there? Yes of course it's NICE but it would be nice if I popped across the road to my neighbour who I occasionally nod to, and presented them with some warm baked muffins.

I understand baking stuff being a lovely kind gesture to People You Love, but for people that you neither work with, or know? That is just extraordinary. AND this is just Wifework, plain and simple. I would not dream of coming home and saying "Oooh husband, I need to take some cakes to work, do you mind spending two hours of your rare free time slaving over the oven so I don't have to walk into Sainsbos in the morning?" Hmmm what?

Yes I admit I do eat the Wife-Cakes but if the devil himself turned up with a Garibaldi at 11 a.m. I would be helpless to resist.

OP posts:
Original poster
morningpaper · 15/12/2008 08:30

Oh and male colleagues who bring in Marital Sandwiches get a lot more grief

"What's for lunch? You don't know? You DON'T KNOW? Did she help you get dressed as well?"

I do work with a few divorced women so perhaps levels of cynicism are slightly higher than normal...

OP posts:
Miggsie · 15/12/2008 08:38

I bake tons of mince pies at Xmas and DH always takes them into work and to his friend's houses...who are all unmarried men who are soooooooo appreciative of home baking they all think I'm great!
But yes, it is annoying that men bring wife made stuff in and women don't get that option generally.

I once said to my manager "there is no canteen in this building" and he replied "oh, that's not a problem, my wife makes me sandwiches every day." So I said "oh, do you think she could make me some too?"
He looked at me as if I had tried to piss on him.

tiredemma · 15/12/2008 08:38

Good job DP has never asked me to cook for his colleagues, they would still be digesting their own teeth next christmas.

LiffeyCanSpellGeansaiNollaig · 15/12/2008 08:38

Morningpaper, I hear you. i remember thinking "why does your wife want to make carrot cake for the likes of me?" and that was before I had children and knew how busy I was just chauffering them to and from their appts! I thouhgt that making a cake might be a nice way to FILL the empty day! And I still didn't get it!