To be really farking annoyed at DD's school marketing ploys?

[NoPresentsInVictorianSqualor]

I have talked before about the huge amount of money that the school asks from us but when it's for trips and experiences it doesn't bother me too much.

But every couple of weeks the PTA has some sort of fund-raising thingy going on (again I realise my DD&DS will benefit from this). The christmas term is the worst. We've had the xmas cards they made, the different carol concerts (which though much nicer with mulled wine and minced pies, is just another money-making event) we had mufti day last week, they have had three different costumes to find in the last month etc.

Today is the xmas fayre. If I want to I can purchase a calendar (which is basically a picture my DC's drew with one of those calendar thingys on) for £1.
I don't want to!
I've told them we will make our own calendars by creating month specific pictures and photographing them and doing it online much better IMO, but anyway I digress.

I turn up at the school with a very poorly 7 month old, who tbh, I didn't want to wake, nor take outside but I had no choice.
There is absolutely no way I am planning on going to this poxy fayre but that's ok, because it's in the Quad, so I can go round to get to DD's class, pick her up and come straight home.

I get to the school only to find parents waiting outside DD's classroom, which is empty.

A TA overhears us all talking about where our DCs are and says that they have gone to the fayre with their teacher. I mill about looking for DD for twenty fricking minutes, DS2 is crying and I am really fed up.

Then I see that there are children from her class coming out of the main hall. So I go in and she is stood right at the back with her teacher who is selling the calendars.

HOW DARE THEY GUILT ME INTO BUYING SOMETHING THAT WILL OTHERWISE GO IN THE BIN?????

Not only am I pissed off that I had to go right into the middle of the fayre (so the DC's can beg me for things) but they didn't tell us where they would be and they put my daughter in front of her work to try and make me buy it. I didn't buy it because it's crap and I don't want it but what about those who can;t afford it? How on earth would that make them feel? (I know it's only a pound, but there are a lot of people who have 3 children at that school, that's £3 for the calendars and £3 for the mufti in less than a week!)

£1.50 is extremely good value for a party! Where is the money supposed to come from if you don't pay? The LEA certainly don't pay for parties.
I think the school are to be congratulated on enriching the curriculum with a real author and £1 wasn't much to pay.
You do not need to buy a a photo or the cards-no one will be bothered if you don't have either. I would say to the DC that you will have their cards, but they can make them at home.
If it is £4 to get into the fayre it is a bit steep HOWEVER you could volunteer to help and you wouldn't pay an enterance fee.

I really do wish the moaners could all go to a school where nothing is provided on top of LEA money the school don't enrich the curriculum and then they could really appreciate what some parents do to help their DCs (while they do nothing and moan)!!

sorry entrance-should proof read!

YANBU - I have the same issues with our school. In the last week I think I have had to cough up over £30 per child for trips, cards, photos, raffle tickets etc as well as provide endless things for tombolas, raffles, as well as pay endlessly for mufti days etc. I refused to go to the fayre yesterday as I knew I would end up paying even more money to buy back the stuff I had donated. I wish the school would back off a bit, or find ways to fundraise that didn't automatically tap the parents the whole time.

I think the issue of school trip and PTA are two differnt ones. I still cannot figure out what "mufti days" are. can anyone help.

(Btw I was onthewarpath previously on the thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/661412-Onthewarpath-HAS-NAMECHANGED-FINALLY)

mufti days are "wear your own clothes days" and pay for the privilege/nightmare it entails!

mufti day = don't have to wear school uniform. In fact no child will wear uniform that day.

All those who hate the way their PA fundraises have a very simple remedy - get involved and change it. For example our Fair had a low entrance fee and children were free so that larger families were not deterred by cost of admission. How many of the grumblers use the everyclick search engine - fundraising where you don't have to spend anything!

What would you be happy to spend your money on - or do you just want other parents to pay for the extras for your children?

my dh has just volunteered to be on the PTA next year. what is the everyclick search enging tatt? The school have a great website but no affiliate shopping schemes - i think this would be a great thing for him to introduce, does anyone know anything about it?

Regarding a previous poster who felt several posters were mean spirited - sorry, I just don't agree. You will find many parents are absolutely strapped for cash at the moment and whilst a £1 here and there for you may be nothing, this is just not so for other families.

You only have to look at, say, a family with 3 kids paying for school dinners every week, with school shoes, etc and then realise that actually, the pressure of the £££s requested by the PTA does mount up and parents often feel resentful.

One final point, is that the stuff the PTA raise funds for is often non-essential. I cite as an example our school, who is currently raising funds for a better stage. The one we have is perfectly fine, I feel funds could be better directed elsewhere. Will I continue to donate? Yes, but only what I feel to be reasonable.

have a look in education and you'll find the positive PA thread.

If you don't like what the PTA are providing or you don't like the way they are doing it there is the simplest of solutions - you simply get off your backside, get onto the committee, put forward your suggestions and do the work!

£1 here and there is alot for me.

I weigh it up; I give what I can, where I can. As I said, you can be strapped for cash but give what you can graciously

It is mean spirited to act so scathingly and ungratefully for things done purely for the benefit of children. Nothing to do with money.

You can actually say 'no' to children-I am surprised how many people find it so difficult! e.g if you don't want a photo, calendar etc simple say 'no thank you'.

exactly pisces. all this seething anger and resentment! Just give what you can and that's it. We've all got limited funds (most of us, anyway!)

Pisces and those that say join the PTA to change it, are missing the point. There's a lot of parents who simply do not think the PTA or these extras being fund raised for, are actually necessary at all.

If you don't have a xmas fair so what? we'll all go home with less tat...if we don't buy that 'trim trail' for example, who craes, really, there are things called parks and playgrounds already out there. As long as school have books and teachers, just let them get on with it.

In my school the PTA provides books! And a piano, and many, many other things that I would guess 90per cent of the parents just take for granted. Don't want the Christmas Fair (and yes, children were free at ours too) then don't go. NObody will miss your miserable presence, least of all those who actually SUBSIDISE the activities so children can have a nice time and maybe give Gran a decorated box or whatever for a £1 or so that will make her happy. At our PTA we constantly agonise over the price of everything, how to make things accessible to as many people as possible and fun for as many people as possible. It is important for mental health and happiness for people to feel part of a community and there is also a link between parental involvement in the school and how well it does, and how well invidual children do. IME children hugely enjoy the parties etc and it makes school much more enjoyable and helps them feel part of the community.

The PTA also provided shading and trees and plants for the south-facing tarmacked playground. You know, so everyone's kids have somewhere cool and safe to play outside. If you think that this stuff appears by magic, you need a reality check.

I'd forgotten all this cr*p you get at primary as my hitherto youngest is in 6th form. DD2 will start primary in 2011 so we'll have all this to come.

I went to primary school in the 60s (yes I'm that old). There was no school fund in those days. We had one (local) trip in the summer term and I don't remember my parents being asked for money regularly like they do now. They weren't expected to give time either.

We already pay for school through council tax (a much higher proportion of your income than the old rates system) and other taxes. Are all these "extras" really necessary?

I was on the governing body of my DS's grammar school. A new governor decided that we should ask all parents for at least £100 a year (per child) to get more money in. His justification was that the minibus cost a lot of money. His child used the minibus twice a week for various sporting events. My 3 boys had never set foot in it. He also wanted the governors to each contribute £50 for an emergency fund to pay for "new trousers if a teacher spotted a boy needed some" He works in the City and is a company director. Presumably £150 a year to him is nothing (and can be written off his tax bill ) My DH stacks shelves in a supermarket and the £350 we'd have been forced to cough up every year would have meant no more holidays or perhaps the utility bills not paid.

I do think sometimes people in charge of fundraising forget that other people have other calls on their income that don't include school.

I should read devoutsceptic, lil, PTAs up and down the country provide the things she has mentioned-you take it all for granted and would be the first to moan if your DC had the bare necessities. Schools don't even have the range of books that they have without the PTA-would you really want no library and a reading scheme that is 20yrs old? If you are getting a trim trail that means that you have a very efficient PTA who have already provided basics like a library (unless they are useless and provide a trim trail and neglect the basics).

devout, we know it doesn't appear by magic. The point is it doesn't need to appear at all.

While you say in one breath we could miss the fair if we want, you then sneer in the next breath that your efforts are subsidisng us.You see you are acting all superior and martyr like, and trying to make other parents feel bad, when we we don't want to be involved!!

I know its well meaning, but the effect of the martyr mindset of the PTA is horrible for mums who just want to be left alone!

Depends whether you think that books, shade and a piano for music are necessary I suppose. Or equipment for the sensory room in the new centre for children with special needs, who of course, used to be just chucked out of mainstream schools back then. I'm sure the school could manage without these things (and the plants and the trees and events) but I think the whole school experience would be poorer for it. And if you think that schools are lavishly funded, then you are wrong. A great big crumbling victorian building just eats up money.

pisces, i appreciate some schools really do need equipment. Then maybe parents should spend their efforts lobbying parliament for these neccessities, instead of letting the government off the hook.

The true "extras" are not worth the effort and upset!!

It is a simple FACT that many of the stallholders at our Christmas fair PERSONALLY subsidise the event. I bought a lot of stuff for the stall I ran with my own money. The kids got stuff to take home that I'd paid for. But you still get all teh bloody moaners whinging about being fleeced. If you can't be bothered to do anything, or come to anything, fine. Just don't be incredibly ungrateful. Quite a few of the kids who will use the sensory room, say, will come from families with no contact with the PTA, because most of the families in any school don't, and won't even realise that it involved a lot of fundraising. But many, many of the kids in the school will benefit from kids who can be disruptive or unhappy or having difficulities having a safe, comforting place to be.

Catweazle-I suggest that you get on the PTA in 2011 and you raise money from business sponsorship instead of hitting the parents.

I went to school in 1960's and you are not comparing like with like. In those times LEAs paid for far more than the extras.For example if a residential course was educational the LEA paid-all that stopped sometime in 1970's. I was younger, but I can remember in around 1967 the 6th form went to Norway for a week at the cost of £10 to the parents-the LEA paid the rest!

You have to get real-your youngest DCs education will suffer if the school doesn't fund raise. LEAs provide the basic -and often not even that.

I don't give a flying fuck if you don't want to be involved. Just don't whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge. It's tiresome.

Perhaps you could lobby parliament lil, if you feel strongly about it-I don't think it it will get you anywhere!