To be really farking annoyed at DD's school marketing ploys?

[NoPresentsInVictorianSqualor]

I have talked before about the huge amount of money that the school asks from us but when it's for trips and experiences it doesn't bother me too much.

But every couple of weeks the PTA has some sort of fund-raising thingy going on (again I realise my DD&DS will benefit from this). The christmas term is the worst. We've had the xmas cards they made, the different carol concerts (which though much nicer with mulled wine and minced pies, is just another money-making event) we had mufti day last week, they have had three different costumes to find in the last month etc.

Today is the xmas fayre. If I want to I can purchase a calendar (which is basically a picture my DC's drew with one of those calendar thingys on) for £1.
I don't want to!
I've told them we will make our own calendars by creating month specific pictures and photographing them and doing it online much better IMO, but anyway I digress.

I turn up at the school with a very poorly 7 month old, who tbh, I didn't want to wake, nor take outside but I had no choice.
There is absolutely no way I am planning on going to this poxy fayre but that's ok, because it's in the Quad, so I can go round to get to DD's class, pick her up and come straight home.

I get to the school only to find parents waiting outside DD's classroom, which is empty.

A TA overhears us all talking about where our DCs are and says that they have gone to the fayre with their teacher. I mill about looking for DD for twenty fricking minutes, DS2 is crying and I am really fed up.

Then I see that there are children from her class coming out of the main hall. So I go in and she is stood right at the back with her teacher who is selling the calendars.

HOW DARE THEY GUILT ME INTO BUYING SOMETHING THAT WILL OTHERWISE GO IN THE BIN?????

Not only am I pissed off that I had to go right into the middle of the fayre (so the DC's can beg me for things) but they didn't tell us where they would be and they put my daughter in front of her work to try and make me buy it. I didn't buy it because it's crap and I don't want it but what about those who can;t afford it? How on earth would that make them feel? (I know it's only a pound, but there are a lot of people who have 3 children at that school, that's £3 for the calendars and £3 for the mufti in less than a week!)

That's awful NMC.

They do not deserve you then. I would be very harsh with them if I heard them complain about how none wants to join the PTA in the future.

I figured it was cos they were all knob-ends
but I have informed the school they have a duty under the DDA to make reasoable adjustments re PTA and Parents Evening etc.
I shouldn't have too of course.

Good for you for telling the school needmorecoffee. That is completely ridiculous.

mind you, I still wouldn't go to PTA things. I don't do evenings cos of dd. Never go out of an evening.

onthewarpath - (by the way, I think "FIREcone is quite a good name for me at times) children generally love school trips. Saying you'd miss the amazement or whatever in your dcs' eyes misses the point.

School trips are about having a laugh on the coach, waving out of the window at passers by, getting a day out of school, not to mention seeing something with their peers. Saying trips out are about YOUR appreciation of your dcs' enjoyment is rather odd.

If I had missed out on school trips when I was young because my parents had wanted to see me enjoy myself with them I would have been bloody annoyed and probably held it against them for life and been sitting in therapy because I didn't go on the Commonwealth Institute trip and get to chant "Nicola's Been Sick" all the way down the A40.

but if you cant afford school trips you cant afford them.

Not if you cannot pay for it though! fircone because waving their friends byebye would definitely not be enjoyable would it?

for my spelling of your name, very christmassy no?

I'm jealous about the DoE trips! We went from Birmingham all the way to Malvern for ours and did our walks in the Lickey Hills. I think we paid £40 for the stay in Malvern, it's only 10 years ago so it wasn't that much really.

On a different note I am a bit shocked that you would throw your DCs work in the bin!

It is hard isn't it. The PTA at my children's school is really good, they plan the fundraisers at the beginning of the school year so we do something about once a term with an occasional cheap (£1) or a freebie (children's activity) thrown in. We don't have to fund costumes for plays, thank goodness. The PTA also ask for a donation for a suggested amount, idea being if you can't afford it, you don't miss out.

Really value PTFA..they make a huge difference to our school, but they are always the same few parents doing a very comitted job. if only more people got involved with their community, the work load could be spread more thinly.

Our PTA spends a lot of time discussing whether people will be able to afford an entrance fee or price for something. Things are set at the lowest possible price. This makes a lot more work for the fundraisers - as you said VS, £4,500 is a lot of calendars.

It would be great to say £5 entrance fee for say Santa's grotto - it is pretty disheartening to work your socks off for pennies.... I don't think many PTA's want to exploit people - it's very sad that it's seen that way.

Picesmoon, honestly, after several kids and many years you have to start binning. Or you'd be up to your ears in it!

I don't see what the fuss is about. If you didn't want to take a sick baby to a crowded fair, why did you? If you don't want to contribute then don't. If you feel guilt tripped, then dump the guilt. Either pay or don't. They ask for loads of things at my children's school and I don't always pay or contribute. Sometimes I'm not around. But I know darn well my children benefit hugely from the energies of all those PTA/SPA mums. Just opt out if you don't like it.

Well nkf, she couldn't exactly a) leave her baby alone at home or b) not pick up her daughter, could she? Fair enough to disagree, but this is a bit of a strange question.

brokenrecord, I really do appreciate our PTA, as I said I'm now in the process of joining, they do great work, but the women in our pta obviously didn't consider some of the angles, I shall bring these up.

nkf, how could I do it another way? Please explain..

Leave DD at school? Or the baby at home? what's best?

Is it the PTA that's the problem or the way teachers execute things? Did the PTA say that a child's classwork should be sold to the parent? Did they make the teacher take the children into the fair to put extra pressure on the parents?

You don't bin it until it has been up for a few weeks and a calendar would have to last the year. I have a lot of my DSs art work in the loft!

now my older 3 are teens I don't bother and haven't kept early stuff either. I did buy one of those t-towels once after several months when price went down to 10p. Still drying up with it.

I am a hoarder! I did go through it a few years ago and only kept the best. A bought calendar that was their own work would certainly be in my loft and I wouldn't come home and bin it! I even used to have the junk models around for some weeks before I quietly managed to get rid of them!

i am sure its not just woman on your pta, we have several very involved dads! i think it is more the teachers you should talk to. i would think the pta did not ask teachers to take children to the fair or try and force something on you!

It seems that schools are little money-making empires in their own right these days. We've also had the photos, tombola donations, raffle tickets, mufti day, cake donation, chocolate donations, etc, etc. It seems that no matter how much Govt. money is poured into schools, it is simply never enough. Parkinson's Law s[rings to mind.

Having moved my DDs from private to state primary I am so bl relieved at not having to pay school fees I am happy to contribute the money which pays for all the little extras that our kids enjoy....maybe that's beside the point! Books in the library, games painted on the playground, musical instruments, video cameras to record school trips are all things our PTA has raised money for. Yes, sometimes it would be easier to ask everyone for a £50 donation at the beginning of each year, but I bet there would be complaints about that too, and it does mean there is a sense of community for those 30 or so families who regularly contribute from our school. It is sometimes a pain ( and I speak as someone who works, with 3 kids, and has just baked mince pies and a cake for our school fair tomorrow which no doubt I will buy back as at least I will know it will taste ok - oh and did I mention the hamper prize, the raffle tickets to sell and the 3D christmas decorations to make - all this week alone....), but then you don't have to take part, you don't have to contribute, but maybe we all need to appreciate that our kids do really benefit and the budgets that schools operate within are really tight. If you don't like it, write a cheque at the beginning of the year and hold your head up with impunity as you then ignore all further requests for participation!!!

I school is just like this, i too have just returned from the school fair! Say no more, I realise they do need to raise money but our school boasts to raising 3 x as much as the average school! They definitely use pester power at times too. I was fairly chilled about it all until last year when the decided to charge £5 per ticket to see the school concert, loads parents were complaining but how many actually complained is another thing. Frustatingly I think I was the only one who spoke to the head about it, and she just gave me some pat answer about 'i'm sorry you feel that way, blah blah blah, I've yet to see if they will charge this year. Would't have minded if it was like £2.00 or donations but £5 is a bit steep imo.