To be really farking annoyed at DD's school marketing ploys?

[NoPresentsInVictorianSqualor]

I have talked before about the huge amount of money that the school asks from us but when it's for trips and experiences it doesn't bother me too much.

But every couple of weeks the PTA has some sort of fund-raising thingy going on (again I realise my DD&DS will benefit from this). The christmas term is the worst. We've had the xmas cards they made, the different carol concerts (which though much nicer with mulled wine and minced pies, is just another money-making event) we had mufti day last week, they have had three different costumes to find in the last month etc.

Today is the xmas fayre. If I want to I can purchase a calendar (which is basically a picture my DC's drew with one of those calendar thingys on) for £1.
I don't want to!
I've told them we will make our own calendars by creating month specific pictures and photographing them and doing it online much better IMO, but anyway I digress.

I turn up at the school with a very poorly 7 month old, who tbh, I didn't want to wake, nor take outside but I had no choice.
There is absolutely no way I am planning on going to this poxy fayre but that's ok, because it's in the Quad, so I can go round to get to DD's class, pick her up and come straight home.

I get to the school only to find parents waiting outside DD's classroom, which is empty.

A TA overhears us all talking about where our DCs are and says that they have gone to the fayre with their teacher. I mill about looking for DD for twenty fricking minutes, DS2 is crying and I am really fed up.

Then I see that there are children from her class coming out of the main hall. So I go in and she is stood right at the back with her teacher who is selling the calendars.

HOW DARE THEY GUILT ME INTO BUYING SOMETHING THAT WILL OTHERWISE GO IN THE BIN?????

Not only am I pissed off that I had to go right into the middle of the fayre (so the DC's can beg me for things) but they didn't tell us where they would be and they put my daughter in front of her work to try and make me buy it. I didn't buy it because it's crap and I don't want it but what about those who can;t afford it? How on earth would that make them feel? (I know it's only a pound, but there are a lot of people who have 3 children at that school, that's £3 for the calendars and £3 for the mufti in less than a week!)

Hope you win one Watchtheworld... I was looking at the M & S hamper brochure the other day and one is 1,000! how bloody stupid is that?

dds school is the same,i have been asked to sponser -bouncing,runningdancing.Buy raffle tickets and donate to school fair,buy xmas cards and dd is now making a book(we are not allowed to see it,even though she has to bring it home to finish)they are going to laminate the cover,then we get to buy it
Have also been asked for £370 for a 5 day trip to Kingswood told dd cant afford it and refused to go to info meeting. On day of meeting dd was kept back at the meeting by the teacher " so she can pass on info"! i have now been given a dvd and booklet and a talking to by the teacher on the perils of dd missing out....wanted to punch her,but resisted...

Compo - DS is the angel Gabriel & whilst there are loads of cheap girlie outfits, none are suitable for boys & whilst his mates are giving him stick for being a 'girlie' angel, I thought I'd better get something half decent rather than try & make something. Hence a white 'arab sheik' robe bought online + P&P costs £16 together with some angel wings!

See my other thread about why can't the school have stock nativity costumes for kids to wear instead of parents having to buy the same costumes every year!

VS, that's rubbish! Especially the bit of dd standing in front of her calendar and you having to search for her. From what I hear (no experience), this seems to be getting more common by the day - yet that doesn't make it right imo.

Is it just me or have schools cottoned on to the mufti thing?

I'm sure ds's school has had three mufti days in this term (another on friday). Granted it's usually for 'a good cause' or some such (I think there was £1 for PTA, £1 for Children in Need, a cup of sweets for another PTA thing) and the one on friday he has to bring a chocolate gift in for a raffle.

I know it's good causes but it seems excessive.

Totally - my ds went to kingswood for a long w/e last may and it cost £65, how come yours cost so much?

Yes I agree some schools do take the mick somewhat with all the extras.

However must draw some comment re the teachers going for free on school trips, and the fact that pupil costs cover this cost. of course they do! Would you really expect teachers to pay to go ona work related event, looking after other people's children 24 hours a day, for the full time. School trips are tough work, especially residentials. You can't expect teachers to pay out to go to work. If this was the case you would have NO school trips, and I can imagine yet more complaints on Mn about the lack of them!

YANBU

Why don't they just ask parents to do a Standing Order for a fiver a month?

mumoverseas - that teacher o that trip def seems out of order. I would expect that teacher to have been disciplined quite severely on his return.

FWIW I have never known any such incident occur on any school trip that has occured from any of the schools I have worked in over the past 12 years, so I would like to think that your example is very much a rare occasion.

Am a PTA stalwart. Agree that some of your schools sound OTT. You should def feed back to Head/PTA. But at ours we have oft said, is it worth all the effort we put in to organising so many different kinds of events, could we not just say £30 per family per year? But NO this would not work, the school already has a VOLUNTARY school fund of £3 a year and loads don't pay that!! Not because they cannot afford, because the same people will buy £10 of raffle tickets and give their DC £10 to spend on sweets and tatt, and hire a Henry VIII outfit instead of making something up for "come as someone from history day"

And FFS, no-one needs to pay £28 for a donkey costume!!! THAT is mad. Grey jumper, trousers and a mask - £2.99 online. Bit of rope if you want a tail, or make one from old school tights like I did.EASY.

Morningpaper, I'd prefer that! At least with ds (same school, nursery class) I know they expect a school fund of £1 a week!

we have ahd to pay to go and see our DS's school play £2 a ticket.
Oohh and they will be selling raffle tickets.
And we cant take our own photos but we cn buy a DVD for £10 if we wish. Fk me!

welshdeb,i wish i knew why it cost so much,last year was £195 according to a mum i asked.Apparently they are staying at a hotel and not on site as it was already booked out.They should have picked a different date then.
If enough kids go,teachers get a free place anyway,same with all large group bookings.
We to have had several mufti days and im not allowed to film or photograph any of my kids shows that i have had to buy tickets for as photos and dvd are available to buy

Do something about it then and join the PTA if you think you can do better.

AlanPartrige I agree with you, last year ther was a dress like a book character, my DCs where the only ones in home made costumes, but they where so proud to have made them, and they got chosen for the photo for the papers (maybe Headteacher pitied them??).
I am part the school PTA and I have not got a lot of money so it is my way of paying in "kind", nobody is asking you 9or should be asking you) to buy from every stall at the fayr or take part in all the activities proposed. Fayrs are as much a social event for parents and children to have a good time as they are for raising money.

Saying that, I totally agree with you it is out of order for teacher to take your DC to the fayr without making sure it was ok with you first.

I think there is two different issues in this thread. The school pta organises events to raise money for (if I take our exemple): costumes for nativity play, kits for school sports team, stage, sound system, outside equipment... so the money is definitely needed and goes towards a good cause. School trips (still in our school) are not financed by pta. I much rather go to the fayr and choose what I want to pay for than pay £££ for a school trip down the road, (sorry, old rant comming back to my mind).

To simplifie:
-PTA events = you have a choice (very sorry that in your case you did not, it really should not happen this way)
-School trips you have not got that much choice, unless you have really reasonnable children who will understand why they cannot go.

One of the things that does annoy me about this sort of thing is the division it causes between the money for 'extras' available to schools in affluent areas and those in inner city deprived areas.

At our school we get few requests for money, because the catchment area is split 50:50 very deprived area and some more affluent housing. The school do all they can to minimise the division, and high profile requests for cash or expensive school trips would emphasize the divide.

In some schools (especially secondary) the fundraising can be very successful if the alternative to getting in to the school for some parents would be an independent school. If getting your yr7 into the local grammar, say, is saving you £7-£10k per year in school fees, then you're generally quite happy to be generous with your cash for fundraising, because you've saved so much getting in there.

There is no reason why school cant have their own stock of nativity costumes. Every school I have taught in has done this (admittedly the schools have all been in deprived areas). you can usually find a few willing volunteers amongst staff and parents who will make v simple costumes that can fit children of a variety of sizes! In one school, each infant class did their own nativity play each year, but the dates were staggered and the costumes just moved around from class to class.

Also, schools I have been in have tried v hard not to ask for too much money (would not dream of charging for a calendar child had drawn!), but perhaps thats because of the areas they have been in.

we've had a letter about a 'compulosry' trip to war graves in Belgium. 2 days for 800 quid. ffs.
I said no.
We manage to avoid the fayre though cos they hold it in the non-wheelchair accessible hall. Thank gawd

'However must draw some comment re the teachers going for free on school trips, and the fact that pupil costs cover this cost. of course they do! Would you really expect teachers to pay to go ona work related event, looking after other people's children 24 hours a day, for the full time. School trips are tough work, especially residentials. You can't expect teachers to pay out to go to work. If this was the case you would have NO school trips, and I can imagine yet more complaints on Mn about the lack of them!'

I agree-teachers couldn't be expected to be on duty 24hrs a day and pay for it!! They are working and have a huge responsibility.

Sadly schools need the money, in many cases even the basics aren't covered, never mind the extras. If you don't like the way it is done get onto the PTA and use your ideas instead. Someone on another thread is saying that schools should provide equipment for left handers (I am left handed so agree)however schools just don't have the money to fund it.There seems to be a general lack of understanding on funding-on one hand people are saying that the school should provide it but on the other they don't want to be part of the fund raising for it.

Anyone paying £16 for a costume is mad! Find, beg or borrow old sheets etc and make it!

why do they need expensive foreign trips? I refuse to let ds's go on any of these things. We can't afford it.

My DS have been on wonderful trips, I feel very pleased that state education has been able to offer them. Between them my DSs have been to Russia, Iceland, Canada (skiing)and a French exchange. We couldn't have afforded to go as a family so it has been the most fantastic experience and well worth the scrimping and saving to do it. The Iceland one was 6th form and many funded it themselves through weekend jobs.

it makes poorer kids feel left out cos they can't go.

exactly my point needmorecoffee. WHY do they need to go to such exotic locations for DOE trips. Its bloody ridiculous and most of the kids can't afford to do it. Last year on the Oman trip I think there were about 8 people who were able to go out of around 50. They need to offer something a litle more affordable. I have no issue on paying a contribution towards the teachers costs (ie if one teacher per 5 or 6 kids then each child potentially pays one fifth or a sixth) but the quotes are crazy money. How do they reach a figure of 2k for around 5 to 6 days? Assuming Thailand, we have looked at flights which are around 500 and you can even get hotels at 50pn but they are not going to be in hotels, they will be camping! So how is the rest of the 2k spent? (oh, and it doesn't include spending money)
Ref costumes for nativity plays, I was one of those crap mums that couldn't sew and when my poor DS was young and was an angel, I spray painted gold stuff on a yellow t shirt and stapled (can't sew!) gold tinsel around the bottom! NO way would I pay loads of money to buy a professionally made costume.

I've just been met at the door of ds1's nursery by the TA (well, she stands there every day) but she was holding ds1's calendar asking if I wanted to buy it.
I know this woman and I know there is no way she would try to put pressure on parents to buy it, so rather than angry, I felt awkward. So much so that if I'd had change I'd have bought it..

roisin - i think you're right. here in twickenham i think we're all so relieved to have got into great primary schools and not have to pay £7.5k per year in fees to private schools that everyone seems pretty generous!