To be really farking annoyed at DD's school marketing ploys?

[NoPresentsInVictorianSqualor]

I have talked before about the huge amount of money that the school asks from us but when it's for trips and experiences it doesn't bother me too much.

But every couple of weeks the PTA has some sort of fund-raising thingy going on (again I realise my DD&DS will benefit from this). The christmas term is the worst. We've had the xmas cards they made, the different carol concerts (which though much nicer with mulled wine and minced pies, is just another money-making event) we had mufti day last week, they have had three different costumes to find in the last month etc.

Today is the xmas fayre. If I want to I can purchase a calendar (which is basically a picture my DC's drew with one of those calendar thingys on) for £1.
I don't want to!
I've told them we will make our own calendars by creating month specific pictures and photographing them and doing it online much better IMO, but anyway I digress.

I turn up at the school with a very poorly 7 month old, who tbh, I didn't want to wake, nor take outside but I had no choice.
There is absolutely no way I am planning on going to this poxy fayre but that's ok, because it's in the Quad, so I can go round to get to DD's class, pick her up and come straight home.

I get to the school only to find parents waiting outside DD's classroom, which is empty.

A TA overhears us all talking about where our DCs are and says that they have gone to the fayre with their teacher. I mill about looking for DD for twenty fricking minutes, DS2 is crying and I am really fed up.

Then I see that there are children from her class coming out of the main hall. So I go in and she is stood right at the back with her teacher who is selling the calendars.

HOW DARE THEY GUILT ME INTO BUYING SOMETHING THAT WILL OTHERWISE GO IN THE BIN?????

Not only am I pissed off that I had to go right into the middle of the fayre (so the DC's can beg me for things) but they didn't tell us where they would be and they put my daughter in front of her work to try and make me buy it. I didn't buy it because it's crap and I don't want it but what about those who can;t afford it? How on earth would that make them feel? (I know it's only a pound, but there are a lot of people who have 3 children at that school, that's £3 for the calendars and £3 for the mufti in less than a week!)

YANBU, I would have been fuming.

In the past 2 weeks I have paid for trip to museum x3, 3 costumes, 2 xmas play tickets, supplied 3 gifts for school fayre and there is more to come yet.

I just wish they would stop and think sometimes before they do some of it.

I never have any money for the xmas fayre, who does this time of year ? I have told xp he has to take them this year, and when I told him to take his wallet he moaned. Fuck knows how he thinks I pay for it.

YANBU, and I say this as a PTA stalwart. They are taking the piss.

It is a delicate balance between doing enough to a)raise funds for the extras and b)foster a sense of community spirit etc, or just doing so much it feels relentless and overly demanding to the parents. Your PTA hasn't got the balance right - but as well as rant here, collar the PTA Chair and tell him/her what you feel. PTAs do often operate in a little bubble, and feedback from non-PTA parents is vital.

I have to say as a parent recently moved back to the UK and experiencing the school system in this country for the first time I was very surprised at the amount of times (since half term) DD has come home with letters asking for money. Not as extreme as you describe Victorian but even so I was quite amazed.

We have lots of charity letters, events happening at school, children's xmas cards, children in need, NSPCC to name but a few.

I was fuming, especially with DS2 being so poorly, the last thing I wanted to do was be trying to push a buggy through a crowd of over-excited children.
I just said to DD's teacher 'I'm really angry that I have just had to search for her, I have a poorly baby I've had to leave over there and I do NOT appreciate this' and stormed off, she tried to say something to em and I just put my hand up and said I'm not interested and walked out
I'm normally such a nice calm reasonable parent as well!

Hassled, thankfully I have a good relationship with the PTA, it's a close school and everyone knows each other so I will be complaining about our seeming lack of choice to participate.

YANBU, I think its ok if they ask once, but not keep ramming it down your throats.
I had to chuckle at my son's school yesterday. We received a letter about a proposed duke of edinburgh trip next summer. The school only started doing it last year and ran a trip which very few went on as it was too expensive (around 700 for a 2/3 day trip) so they had to do a cheaper one more locally. Anyway, the trip they are suggesting next year may be to Thailand, Cyprus or somewhere else, they don't know yet and is for around 5 to 7 days. They are suggesting that it is in the region of 1,500 to 1,950 (although it could be more) and want us to confirm now that we are happy to go up to this limit, without even knowing WHERE it will be! Are they stupid? I said to my son it just wasn't happening at that amount of money, which he totally understood and agreed with. I then questioned if on those figures they were actually going to buy a part of Thailand and was informed that apparently the children going fund the teachers trips! I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable to tell them to sod off?

YANBU

This month we have had:

Photos
Cards
Book Fayre
Trip
Xmas Fayre
Money for School Xmas Party
Raffle tickets

I really appreciate that this all helps DS's education, but I am not a walking ATM.

i think state schools in this country cost at least a grand per child per year. for this very reason.

Didn't you knw that they missed out the letter I in PTA??

YANBU, we have this too, but not quite so extreme. Thing is our tickets for the 'nativity' (if you can call it that) are free, you just make a donation! Now I know that some people won't donate any money!! This would be a good fund-raiser as well.

And this is the school that is £55k in debt so when my friends SN ds needs one-to-one they say no as they can't afford it...

Hope your ds is feeling better, I have a sicky one too

And I miss out the o in know..

No one has to pay for anything they can't afford or don't want too and you can always tell your children you can't afford it. Good lesson to learn in my opinion.

Our school makes those calendars but they don't charge for them. I would pay £1 for them and yes, I will soon have 3 children at ths school and have sent in or spent £50 in the last month for things requested/needed.

Just something you have to do imho.

YANBU, it makes me lived!

In the last 2 weeks:

School photos
Raffle tickets (£5 for 5)
CD of the classes singing Christmas carols £10
Christmas Fayre on Friday (please supply shitloads of stuff that you will end up buying back similar)
Trip (£10)

BTW YANBU to be annoyed that your children weren't in the classroom.

Oh yes, also calendars and 2 different costumes for the play

livid not lived

Oh yes, don't forget the donations you are expected to give for the raffle. Then you have the pleasure of winning it back, with the tickets you have paid for.

Also donate cakes which you can buy back.

Sometimes feel that it would be so much easier if they just asked for £50 at the start of the term then wouldn't have to do all this shite.

mumoverseas - if teachers were actually expected to pay £2000 for the privilege of spending the best part of a week in the company of someone else's teenagers, trying to make sure they don't get drunk/lost/arrested/used as mules, you wouldn't get many volunteers.

Here is my pre-Xmas school tally (so far)

Raffle Tickets £2
School photo pack (£15 upwards but didn't get as its a rubbish photo & I can take better myself)
Xmas Play costume £16
Chocs for Tombola £3
Money for DS to buy Cakes from cake stall £1
Money for DS to buy books from book stall £2
Pack of Xmas cards drawn by DS £6 a pack of 8

There is also a Xmas Party & I expect they will ask for a 'contribution' of a couple of pounds for that too!

and we've not even had the Xmas Fair yet!

I'm sorry but what sort of costume costs £16?

funnily enough rustybear, on last years trip (that very few went on to Oman) it was the teachers that were getting drunk/lost. A group of 5 girls who should have had a teacher with them when they came out of the airport found that the teacher had disappeared. He was later found rather under the influence with bags of duty free booze!
No disrespect to teachers, but I'm not paying for them to get drunk and leave my child alone!

DDs angel costume from woollies cost £12 so i can imagine costumes could easily be £16+

my neighbour had to provide a donkey costume - it cost her £28 plus express delivery! all for a couple of minutes galloping on stage in front of Joseph & Mary!

did any of you get the Marie Curie cancer chair daffodil pack before half term?

we were meant to plant the daffodil in the pot and get it sponsored?!?!?!?

ours is still sitting in the cupboard but honestly who is DD going to ask to sponsor her daffodil!

Marie Curie Cancer care... not chair