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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel uncomfortable being served by woman with tourettes that kept swearing at me?

633 replies

racmac · 30/11/2008 17:30

I went to a well known high street store and was served by a lady who had tourettes. I have no problem with this or any of her ticks BUT she kept saying cunt and wanker - i dont use these words in front of my children so dont expect others to AIBU in expecting that she shouldnt be serving customers?

It was rather disconcerting to be told "thats £20.00 please, cunt, wanker"

Racmac

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/12/2008 13:27

ChristmasFairySantAsSLut

So a new carer for an elderly person knows them do they? Nope me thinks not.

Original poster
racmac · 01/12/2008 13:29

Yes victoriansqualor i admit i have changed my position slightly from my first post -

I would still be shocked at hearing swearing from a person serving me - it is not normal to hear this - i have never heard swearing from staff members before.

BUT having been "educated" by you lovely people i would accept that she has a right to do this job but i cant imagine their are many employers that would "allow" her to work in that position.

OP posts:
needmorecoffee · 01/12/2008 13:29

I want to see a link to bearded man refused job at fish counter. Was in Morrisons the other day and the guy behind the fish counter had a beard you could lose a sheep in.

ChristmasFairySantAsSLut · 01/12/2008 13:30

Well, tehy should have been given some information, surey...I mean, there are case notes and all sorts that one can read up at...and if this was in a nursing home/hospital, then this would be mentioned at a handover...
also, one would think, although it may be dangerous to assume this, that someone working in the Carin-business will be aware of the diversity of clients/patienst they will have to deal with....although, yes, I know many go into the business a bit naive, of course....
I just think that there is a difference...

TheLadyEvenstar · 01/12/2008 13:30

but i cant imagine their are many employers that would "allow" her to work in that position.

In that case then they all need educating

onager · 01/12/2008 13:30

People tut and mutter about how long it's taking and get shirty that he asks them three times if they have a clubcard. Should he not do his job?>>

He clearly can't DO his job. That's kind of the point.

Those quoting the DDA like it's the word of god might want to consider that the intent of that was to ensure that people were not rejected without good cause. It was never intended to mean that you take on disabled people regardless of their suitability for the position.

SummatAnNowt · 01/12/2008 13:31

I suppose you just have to buy into a certain idea of society.

The kind of society I wish to live in is one where everyone has worth and their worth is not dependent on money, on how much they can make for themselves/society/employers whatever.

This means that people exist and are worthy in their own right, as they are, and are not just there to provide you with your own imagined kind of perfect service. So if I encountered swearwords or spent 5 mins or whatever being served instead of 1 minute so that everyone's human rights are respected then so be it.

ChristmasFairySantAsSLut · 01/12/2008 13:33

god...my spelling is rubbish...and haven't even had a drink, yet, lol....that was
they not tehy
surely not surey
Caring not Carin
patients not patienst

think I got them now....

Seuss · 01/12/2008 13:33

Summat - well put.

Threadworrm · 01/12/2008 13:34

I don't believe that Tesco would employ this man if he couldn't do the job, which prob has a range of tasks as well as being on till.

They've got an eye on the bottom line. And they will do what the DDA requires, not more. Of course he can do his job

Seuss · 01/12/2008 13:34

onager - yes he CAN do his job. Just a bit slower. At least you know you will get the right change.

fancyliontamer · 01/12/2008 13:37

link here

nothing more to say on this, but if i had a disability i wouldn't expect to get certain job's.

onager · 01/12/2008 13:39

StewieGriffinsMom, I'm sure you were shocked at my paedophile comment, but you agree then that equal rights to a job shouldn't apply to everyone :O

VictorianSqualor · 01/12/2008 13:39

Of course eh can do his job onager. Nothing says that when being served in Tesco it must take under a minute to check and count the money.

If you're in a rush you can use the express or self-service checkouts.

needmorecoffee · 01/12/2008 13:42

well, I do have an impairment and if I'm qialified for a job then I expect to get it and expect an employer to make 'reasonable adjustments' under the DDA.
I expect equal treatment.
(course, I don't always get it as society puts disabling barriers in my way through bigotyr and ignorance. But we deal with them case by case and one day things will be different)

VictorianSqualor · 01/12/2008 13:42

fancyliontamer, what part of health and safety does swearing come under then?

needmorecoffee · 01/12/2008 13:44

VS - thats Section 4563399473c. 'Precious children have a right not to hear things their parents imagine will corrupt their minds for ever and ever'

Surely you've read that one

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 01/12/2008 13:44

I couldn't give a stuff if a person serving me in a shop has verbal tourettes. TBH the kids hear far worse simply walking through the high street on a saturday.

And then theres all the things they'll hear in the playground.....

As far as i am concerned, if a person is able to do a job safely and will add value to the company then whether or not they have a disability is neither here nor there.

My company currently employs an internal sales girl with CP, a yardman at one of the branches with verbal tourettes (who last year made my dd's a wooden santa which they love) and we also have young people with learning difficulties on work placements at head office.

We are by no means (in my opinion) a shining example of an equal opportunities environment, but the people who do work for us who are disabled in some way were all employed because they passed their interview based on their merits and ability to do the job. The only consideration made for their disabilities is to ensure that there is proper wheelchair access where needed and so on.

If someone serving me was shouting swearwords i would initially be surprised, but that's more due to the fact that shopping makes me glaze over and turn into a zombified mess.

StewieGriffinsMom · 01/12/2008 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

edam · 01/12/2008 13:45

There's an assistant at my Sainsbury's who clearly has some form of disability which affects his face and speech. So I have to strain to catch what he's saying and sometimes ask him to repeat it - have noticed other customers doing the same when I'm in the queue.

Thing is, I don't make a fuss about it, or try to get him removed from his job - why on earth would I? Just may take me a few seconds longer to get served but it's really not a huge deal in the scheme of things. And clearly doesn't bother Sainsbury's, so good for them.

Threadworrm · 01/12/2008 13:45

I think things will be different one day, and this thread has made me realise how much (potentially)the DDA can contribute to a change of attitude.

claw3 · 01/12/2008 13:47

How do you know whether he had tourettes or not. He might well of just thought you looked like a "cunt, wanker"

fancyliontamer · 01/12/2008 13:50

VS; i don't know what circles you move in, but the word's wanker & fuck are still considered offensive to most people, if they wern't then you'd have news readers saying "it's been a bastard of a day" or the weather man saying " it's been so fucking cold today my bollocks nearly dropped off"

get real!

onager · 01/12/2008 13:53

SummatAnNowt "This means that people exist and are worthy in their own right" Yes! I absolutely agree. Everybody, not just some people.

But "not just there to provide you with your own imagined kind of perfect service" Actually they are there for that if they take a job. That's the arrangement our society/economy is based on. Someone pays me money to do something they want done. If I take the money it's my job to do it they way they want it done. If I can't or won't then it's dishonest to take the money.

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 01/12/2008 13:53

actually liontamer, you do hear news readers and weather men saying that sort of thing, it's on "outtake tv" shows at christmas generally.

In the middle ages the word cunt was an everyday word used to describe the female genitalia, it wasn't thought of as rude at all.