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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not allow ds2 to have mmr jab?

862 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 28/11/2008 22:40

I don't think I am, after ds1 had it i noticed a major difference in his behaviour and don't want to go through it again,

OP posts:
ChristmasFairyRantALot · 30/11/2008 21:57

...not quite sure how that link brought on that reaction...but maybe I am reading/perceiving it differently....

jasper · 30/11/2008 22:12

YABU but as a mother it's your right to be as unreasonable as you like

goldilocksandmylittlebear · 30/11/2008 22:13

CHRISTMAS FAIRYRANTALOT Sorry typo!! I am taking my DS for the MMR next week! Ooops!

ChristmasFairyRantALot · 30/11/2008 22:16

lol...that amkes much more sense ....

purpleduck · 30/11/2008 22:56

lou031

"If a child had a tendency to autism which was triggered by the jabs, then at least they are safe from everything else"

purpleduck · 30/11/2008 23:09

PGHedgeWitch

"Some forms of Brain Damage mimic Autism, it does not make these children Autistic".

No. That is not true. My nephew has Autism due to getting Meningitis when he was 10 days old. His whole team of health professionals also agree that he has Autism.

Pawslikepaddington · 30/11/2008 23:19

Have jumped onto this late, but I gave dd singles as my mum believed that mmr changed me quite dramatically, although I do not have autism or any form of brain disfunction, but I did have behavioural problems that seemed to stem from the time of the mmr, and I still suffer from them now.

I went to my doctor with dd on Thurs as she had a rash and was told because I had given her singles she had measles . It turns out she did not have measles, but a virus, but every time you attend a doctors appointment that involves some kind of rash, or something that involves some measly symptom you are told it is your fault for giving them singles and that you are a bad, careless parent, and you should give them an mmr booster immediately as they are not immunised, and it makes me really .

Pawslikepaddington · 30/11/2008 23:20

Do not was meant to be in bold, sorry.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 30/11/2008 23:31

Paws,
your mums reasons for your dd not having the mmr is the exact reason i will not let ds2 have it. My ds1 changed dramatically after having the mmr, not autism but behaviour problems.

OP posts:
Pawslikepaddington · 30/11/2008 23:37

I got strong-armed by the dr into saying that I would book dd in for an MMR booster next week, but am now petrified-she has somehow slipped through the net for all pre-school boosters (she is now in reception), and they want her to have 7 in one sitting! Including MMR! She has been so ill since starting school too-it just seems like it will be a recipe for disaster-she is happy and bright now, and if I lose her personality and potential I don't know what I will do, and it would be all mu fault

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 30/11/2008 23:42

Paws,
I know how you feel. DS1 was a much happier child before the MMR. He is very clever and is happy but his behaviour lets him down. I am not going to do the same to ds2. People can call me selfish and all the rest BUT I and I alone know my children and I know what is best for them.

OP posts:
StudentMadwife · 30/11/2008 23:45

If your getting it done but single jabs yanbu, if its the option that makes you feel more comfortable, go with it.

yabu if you are not going to give it at all-your putting your child and many other children(and adults) at risk.

we have a bit of an epidemic of it where i live because we have a v high proportion of people who live alternative lifestyles. It makes me a little bit cross that even though there has been NO evidence that it causes autism, people are still keeping on about it and scaring off parents that would have otherwise had it done. The HV's in our area pull their hair out over it.

laineylou · 30/11/2008 23:51

Bit scared to post with all you guys who have obviously researched to the nth degree.
As a non medico/no degree/average parent I remember sobbing my heart out about giving my son the MMR - it was at the height of the media storm. I personally felt that it was like trying to cross a busy road - you probably wouldn't get hit by a bus - but if you did you'd feel terrible because you actively CHOSE to step out rather than the bus hitting you on the pavement- um crap metaphor but I hope you get the gist of it! And of course you can't go back and do it differently (if only).
My experience was I put it off for a couple of months until someone at my husband's office got measles - when I legged to the surgery asap. My fairly elderly doctor then reminisced (sp?) about all the appalling aftereffects of measles and mumps that he had had to treat - and he said that anyone who had gone through it would not hesitate to vaccinate. DS1 fine, so is DD1. I don't know anyone with a bad experience from MMR - I may have been more militant if I did!
BTW So what are the stats for contracting M or M in an unvaccinated society, stats for dying/having long tem damage if you get M or M and stats for being diagnosed with autism? How long before all those children unable to survive M or M were dead & their genetic heritage removed from gene pool - presumably then our survival rate of the disease would go up naturally?

Pawslikepaddington · 30/11/2008 23:51

Exactly, and it is not like people want to stem an epidemic, I paid for dd to have the singles, although sadly cannot do the same for the boosters, and yet we are treated like we are terrible parents for not wanting to expose our children to what we feel is a potential risk to them.

I know it is not the same thing, but there are certain sports that I would not want dd to participate in when she is older as I feel they are too dangerous, i.e. boxing, but others believe that the risks are minimal and so worth taking. However, I do let her watch a disney film all the way through probably twice a week, and some would argue that that had risks attached to it regarding her mental ability in later life etc. I know this sounds like a really bad argument but I am tired! It is what you as a parent feel is right, and I do not feel it is right to be given more than one vac at a time, as I don't think genetically our family can cope with it. Her father has ADHD, her uncle has ADHD, another uncle has very mild autism, and I have behavioural difficulties-why should I take a gamble with dd, who has none of these traits, despite her gene pool being filled with them?

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 30/11/2008 23:58

I will have ds2 immunised (sp) with the single jabs for Measles and Mumps but not just yet. As for the rubella...well he will never be a teenage girl so I doubt I will have that done. I remember having the rubella jab at 13 when I was in school why do we give it to boys now?

OP posts:
Pawslikepaddington · 01/12/2008 00:01

P.S. Evenstar, I am so sorry about your ds. Are you giving ds2 the singles? I must agree with the posters that have said the doctor's giving the singles give you a pile of info re. side effects, when and when not to vaccinate, what to expect, what will happen etc before, during and after the vacs, whereas the docs giving the MMR are mute the whole time as to poss side effects etc, which worries me considerably.

Pawslikepaddington · 01/12/2008 00:02

Sorry, x-posts!

Pawslikepaddington · 01/12/2008 00:04

God, we sound like the family from hell . All the ADHD is on the dads side!!! And we split up years ago so family parties aren't as bad as they could be

TheFalconInThePearTree · 01/12/2008 00:06

No, but he could catch rubella then come into contact with a pregnant woman. If that happens she could lose the baby or the baby could be born with defects.

ladylush · 01/12/2008 00:09

So why did we stop vaccinating adolescent girls then? Surely that was the point. Also, immunity likely to last longer (throughout a woman's reproductive life) than immunising babies will offer.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/12/2008 00:09

Paws
I will get the singles done but not the rubella. I can't see the reasoning behind that when not so long ago only girls had it.

DS1 as I say is a great kid but sadly he does have behaviour issues he never had before the MMR jab. and nobody will convince me otherwise.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/12/2008 00:10

Thefalcon,

and what has changed since only girls had it?

OP posts:
Pawslikepaddington · 01/12/2008 00:11

That's true, if all women are immunised, there would be no need to immunise the boys. Does anyone else wish they had just some up with the separate jabs and just left it at that? There would be no controversy then, but there would be hype about something else I supoose.

ladylush · 01/12/2008 00:12

Ds will not have Rubella either. Girls/adolescents should be having it. I don't agree with immunising babies against everything just to protect others when there are other options available.

ladylush · 01/12/2008 00:15

And before I get flamed....yes of course I do care about what happens to other people BUT I do worry about the damage overloading a baby with viruses can do. My ds has a family history of auto immune disease and I have to factor this in when deciding what vacs he should have.